what to look for hes using excuses saying you deserve better,ive failed,why do you put up with this,but he shows no signs of wanting to improve himself any feed back would be greatly appreciated
2007-08-06 08:12:00 · 23 answers · asked by mamaof 6 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
maybe you should go to couples therapy.
2007-08-06 08:15:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the problem is that his self esteem is so low that he feels he can't do anything right. You may want to look at your own behavior to see why he feels this way.
Are you criticizing him more than you praise him? Do complain to him about anything and everything that is wrong in your home or marriage? Do you question everything he does even if he is trying to do the right thing? The statement you made ".....he shows no signs of wanting to improve himself...." tells me he's in a no win situation with you.
I went through this same kind of feeling in my last marriage and finally decided there was just no pleasing my Ex. Consider this, are you the type of person who is hard to please? If so then maybe you share some of the blame of why your husband feels this way.
Couples therapy is a good starting point.
2007-08-06 08:38:13 · answer #2 · answered by IveBeenThere 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your question to yourself should be why does he think he failed you?
Has everything been going good in the marriage or over time have you both kind of just drifted?
Marriage is something that you have to work at on a daily basis. It is so easy for us to get into a friendship mode and then we begin to lose that "Us" mentality.
I know that my DH and I had to find "US" again about 2 years ago after our 3rd child was born... It was like we became parents and forgot how to have a relationship. We could have let it slip but fortunately we both caught it and we worked on building our relationship once again. Now after 10 years of marriage we are stronger than ever.
It's always hard when something like this happens but you need to find out what is going on and then jump in there immediately to correct it!
2007-08-06 08:17:51 · answer #3 · answered by Susan Goodknight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds really depressed. Job problems? No sign of wanting to improve would also be symptom of depression. Try to steer him towards a medical appointment for that. Neither he nor you can evaluate if he's emotionally checked out of the marriage until his mental health is improved.
2007-08-06 08:16:34 · answer #4 · answered by suzanne g 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is emotionally defunct, but regardless, he is emotionally involved. ANY time there is an affair, there are emotional reasons behind it, even if those emotions are purely based on himself (not even feelings for this woman.) You don't want any advice, so I won't give you any except this-- go with your gut, girl. You've got a lot of good ahead of you.
2016-05-19 23:07:04 · answer #5 · answered by joleen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is thinking nd feeling low of himself. mayb depression or male menopause. u shud help him get out of this by being very loving, caring and encouraging.
if he says u deserve better, u can say to him u r the best. boost his morale. pep talk him and keep him happy. make him talk out his feelings and work on betterment of ur relationship.
if the situation does not seem to improve, go for counselling.
2007-08-06 08:21:39 · answer #6 · answered by purna 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your best to ask why he's acting this way. Did you do something or are too demanding, is there too many fights, is he depressed or did he do something and he feels horrible about.
If he can't talk to you about it, then request he see someone to get help.
Be persuasive but not demanding, pry but know when to back off too. Be loving, attentive and let him know your there when he feels the need to talk things out.
2007-08-06 08:22:17 · answer #7 · answered by trojan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Something kind of like that happened to me. After having enough of feeling like he didn't care I told him that he needed to fix things or I would leave and file for divorce. He thought for a little while and decided that he does care and wants to be with me. Since then we have started marriage counseling and I think it has really helped.
2007-08-06 08:16:40 · answer #8 · answered by Nikki 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Communication is the key! If you can get him to talk to you or with a counselor, you may be able to save the marriage. It just depends on how bad you both want it.
2007-08-06 09:01:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him why all of the sudden hes acting like that? Tell him that you still like him and you don't care if he says you deserve better and he has failed.
2007-08-06 08:15:29 · answer #10 · answered by Sarah 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Another woman? Drugs, booze, gambling, hormonal problems, problems at work, depression? All or some of the above? If you wish to save your marriage, get a few session of counseling. If you do not, and feel you want out, divorce as friends.
2007-08-06 08:16:15 · answer #11 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋