Its the grass is always greener syndrome.
2007-08-06 07:26:30
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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Ouch. Cheating hurts. If the man is basically decent, there may be something missing for him in the relationship. If he's just a jerk who can't set aside his innate deisre for variety, I see no hope. My hubby is a decent man. I am far from a perfect wife, but he is faithful to me. Like all men, he likes variety. Therefore, if he occasionally looks at naughty pictures, that does not bother me. Also, I try to change things up both in the bedroom and out of it (I change my haircolor perodically. My husband has only been married once, but he has been married to a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette!)
However, if he is basically a decent man, there is some hope. Perhaps he needs more attention. Perhaps he would perfer his wife order a pizza once or twice a week and save her energy on those nights for some romance. Perhaps his wife is so focused on her domestic and motherly responsibilities that she has no time left to me his lover. Perhaps she could take a moment before he comes home to freshen her makeup, put on a nice outfit, and greet him with a hug. Even if that means she needs to have a helper for an hour in the afternoon to help with the kids to get that accomplished. Even if that means the kids spend some time with a friend or relative one or two evenings a week to give mom and dad an "at home date."
Perhaps his emotional needs are not being met.
This is NOT to say that men who cheat are not responsible for their actions. Plenty of good men are married to women who nag, ignore them sexually, and are emotionally distant, yet they do not cheat. The primary responsibility lies with the cheater. However, if the man is decent and just desperate for something that is missing in the relationship, there is some hope of repairing the relationship.
Either way, both partners need to be tested for STDs at once, and use protection in the interim. If my husband had a history of cheating, but I chose to stay with him, I would probably have an STD panel as part of my check-up every year for the rest of my life, just to be sure.
2007-08-06 07:40:20
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answer #2
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answered by Kellie W 4
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Unfortunately we would all like to know this . but it becuz they are so dumb and weak to flesh and reguardless who reacts first the man could reject her but he doesnt! See when u have women out there who will do any thing to have a man yea sure nobodys perfect but when u hav a woman like dat who will wait and be ok with what ever a man does were he comes over at 3:00 am in the morning (no problem) so see they sucker men in like this oh im not like her i dont fuss with him i have him a hot meal waiting for him when he comes threw the door and i this and im that . Well B#$%% i dont do it. u can cook,clean,be a full time lover,and the freak in the sheets ,and a full time nanny to both ov Yalls kids and on top of that be the Dressed up stunner thathe always wants to see when u walk in the house no matter what time he gets there! IT AINT GONE HAPPEN it reallly dont make him a bit ov difference . I had one just like it never satisfied ,ungreatful,weak to flesh ! Hes gonna always go out and deal with the H in the streets becuz she dont do this and she dont do that and i was pressured! A man once told me that the first time a man cheats on u It isnt ur fault ! But if he does it again it is cuz u let him get away with it hands down . and everytime he cheats he 1st of all is only gonna find a more slicker way to try it again and 2nd hes gonna run that same line each time and they will only get lamer. And they do!
2007-08-06 07:41:59
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answer #3
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answered by sean a 2
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Short answer YES. All people in a relation have a the option of cheating when either party is not satisfied in a relationship. If the lady cooks, cleans, takes care of kids, etc...but the man wants to be able to communicate with her without her nagging....he will go outside of the relationship and find someone. If you want to avoid cheating in a relationship talk and listen to the other person. Learn what they really want.
2007-08-06 07:28:11
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answer #4
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answered by IslandCandi 3
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Studies find that just as many women cheat as men; so you could also ask the inverse question: why do women cheat on 'good' men?
I've known many married individuals whom cheated on their spouse, and it seems they are 'single'-minded, but in a relationship. They figure if they're not caught, they're not really doing something wrong. I'd say it's a bit of moral relativism, and ego-centric habits ie they fail to judge it as wrong and they fail to feel what the other(s) might feel.
I'd say many women and men would be better-off if they were prudent with their chose in partners. If they want that ideal relationship, they ought judge the character of that person, and also put themselves outside of their own ego. People tend to lie to impress, and while I don't think that's always bad, I do think that WE as people tend to invest into these fantasies (of what we think they are). It's a difficult world, and sometimes you would like to cut through all the BS, but in order to be happy....sometimes you have to be sad and dissapointed (but the earlier the better...rather than years past). Or maybe that's just my opinion.
Good luck.
I
2007-08-06 10:28:52
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answer #5
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answered by Rick 4
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You've answered your own question.
A cheating man isn't looking for someone to cook him a great dinner, or starch his shirts, is he? That's not his priority. That's not what he's looking for and that's not what's missing in his life.
Your question itself expresses your priorities. Cooking and cleaning mentioned by name; "everything else" thrown in afterwards. You don't even mention the word sex. It's just sort-of implied as an afterthought. As a wife, these are your priorities. These domestic duties are important, but they should not be first on your list. Understand there is a difference between feathering the nest and warming it.
His priorities may be skewed. His attitudes may be totally out of line. His expectations may be totally unrealistic. He may even be a real pig. I have no idea. You've given no clues about him. But you have given very telling clues about you; your priorities, your focus.
Sex is what defines a marriage. It's what separrates it from other relationships. It's the only Biblical reason for divorce. Most men have a very strong sex drive. If you demand that he focus all of his sexual attention on you; all of his sexual thoughts, dreams and desires to be expressed only in the marriage... well, if you are that demanding of him, be prepared to meet the demand. If you are unwilling, unable, or just too busy to be totally focused and totally devoted to him sexually, why would you expect him to be totally focused and totally devoted to you? If you insist on being the only one he can look to for sexual fullfillment, you better be just as insistent on fullfilling him. Anything less is cruel.
Being a good "wife" has nothing to do with cooking and cleaning.
2007-08-06 08:08:16
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answer #6
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answered by antirion 5
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Honey,besides being tall and fit and earning a six figure salary, I am a very good cook and I certainly know how to run the vacuum and the washing machine. I can iron my own shirts and your skirts and I do the dishes. So when other women find all that extremely attractive and they offer me a tumble in the hay, why should I turn them down?
2007-08-06 08:17:57
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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They want the wife (to cook, clean etc.), they want a friend to share their hopes, dreams, problems without judging them but they want some spice added,too. They want things to stay the same but they want some variations too. Be their wife, be their friend and confidant but also spice things up once in a while.
If you can balance it out, there should be no reason for them to stray.
2007-08-06 07:33:51
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answer #8
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answered by trojan 5
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Ask him? All men are not the same.
Everyone has different reasons for cheating. Maybe he needs you to stop being so subservient, maybe he needs some excitement, or maybe he's looking for something you're not providing. Cooking and cleaning isn't everthing. You're not his mother!
2007-08-06 07:28:38
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answer #9
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answered by Evoljz_Girl 2
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Cheating has nothing to do with what someone has at home. It's about choosing to disregard your partners feelings for the sake of some physical pleasure. It means the cheater is morally bankrupt.
2007-08-06 07:27:51
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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you know it takes two to tango and sometimes it makes me more mad that single woman are going after married men speaking as a single person once I find out they are married I drop all ties because that is not fare to the other woman and sometimes the temptation is so great and the knowing something different makes them go for it and then its to late. Its very sad when it happens
2007-08-06 07:33:47
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answer #11
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answered by Chloe 6
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