should i be mad??

Question

Okay so a good friend of mine and I are both pregnant...I'm Due next Month and she still has until December. Well ive told her what I'm planning to name my son for months now, even before she found out she was having a boy too. Well, she called me on Saturday and asked if she could use my son's first name i picked out for her kids middle name. At first I'm yeah ok, i guess. But now I'm like "whats gives ?? find your own name!!" and Im a little ticked off... should I be this pissed??? Am i just overreacting??

oh, BTW... I didn't go off on her or anything. I dont know if my question came off like that. i havent even talked to her since that day, but just thinking about it got me annoyed.
And thank you to all who are actually answering the question... and to the other that just want to talk crap... enjoy your two points! :)

...and I would NEVER end a friendship over something this petty...

Answer 1

Something similar happened to me. When I was pregnant with my first son, I was just sure he was going to be a girl (because we wanted a boy so badly,) so I had the name Alaina Faith picked out. I told my sister-in-law, as well as anyone else who would listen. Well, I had a boy, and 8 months later she and my brother had a little girl named Elaina Grace, and sis-in-law claimed that she just thought up the name. My husband was deployed at the time, and I had an infant son, so I was extremely emotional then. I was mainly hurt, but still a little upset, as my husband and I were planning for more children, and would have still liked to use the name if we have a daughter.

Anyway, my point is at least your friend had the decency to ask you about it first. Plus you have the advantage of your son being born before her's so everyone will know she "copied" you. You also have the advantage of your child starting school 1 year before her's. Besides that, there are still 4 months for her to change her mind. Maybe you can keep suggesting names to her until something else sticks.

So to answer your questions, no you should not be pissed (well okay, maybe a little!) And you're not overreacting because you haven't confronted your friend about it. Overreacting would be if you knocked her over the head because of it.
Best of luck!

Answer 2

No I don't think you should be mad. No one person has a claim on any name. Plus, it's only a middle name and it's not like that is what her son will be called. It might be kind of neat in a way, since your sons will probably be friends. They will have a name in common. Can I ask what the name is? If it is a relatively common name, then I don't think you have any reason at all to be upset. If the name is a super uncommon name, then I can see why you might be a little upset. At least she asked as well. She could have not even told you. Give it some time to think about it, if you are still upset after a couple of weeks, then you should bring it up to her and tell her you don't like the idea, and maybe help her find another middle name. Make sure you wait a while though, so you have time to really think about it. If you two are really good friends then I'm sure you can work something out.

Answer 3

OKAY..HERES THE DEAL! FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW! THERE IS AN UNWRITTEN LAW BETWEEN FRIENDS, THAT YOU JUST DON'T COPY BABY NAMES...EVEN IF YOU ASK!!!

I would be a disappointed too. In fact my sister and her friend at the time were pregnant at the same time...my sister was 2 months further along and she decided on her sons first name and then AFTER he was born her friend named her son the same name for the first name. Also, my cousin ended up naming his second son the same first name!!

I would just try your best to let it go...she may change her mind and if she doesn't then really there isn't much you can do.

Oh and my mom had a girl name for my brother if he was going to be a girl of course so she didn't use it but my aunt ended up using it for my cousin....

My sister-n-law and I were pregnant at the same time and she couldn't come up with any boy names so I suggested a name that I like from a movie my husband liked...she liked and used it but never gave me the credit that I basically named him!!
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After reading some of the answers, for those of you who don't have kids, it is very difficult to find a name! You have to like it, it has to go well with your last name, and you have to have it flow good with the middle name, afterall it's forever! Sometimes when another person names a their kid the same name it can take out away from the name, like being unique or it's a family name and for what ever reason it's yours and it's special because you picked it our from all the rest. Also, for those of you name stealers!!!...what are you going to tell your kids...oh I liked that name because so and so had it...how fun is that??

Answer 4

I wonder if your friend is my brother in law and his wife....

My husband had a name picked out for a boy since he was 14, and they used it. We were talking a year ago and picked out a new boys name...he told his brother. So when we found out we were pregnant, and they found out a week later, and the topic of names came up, we got an attitude over a name we picked A YEAR AGO, because they had to cross it off their list. Same with a girls name...They also have nick named their son with the same nick name our daughter has (she is 11, he is 2, so it isn't like it is news to them), the list goes on...
Is it irritating? Yup. But some people just have NO originality, so take it for what it is -
Something you can make fun of them about instead of getting mad! hee hee.

Answer 5

granted, I would be bother a little as well, but think of it like this... she's using it as a middle name, not a first, so your children won't actually be called by the same name. And if you two are very close friends and you are having children so close together, maybe she just wants it as a way to 'honor' your friendship and the closeness she hopes your boys will have growing up together.

And who knows, by the time she delivers, she may change her mind and go with a different middle name.

Answer 6

If I found a really nice name I guess I would be a little annoyed if it got stolen. But really, she is just using it as a middle name. And also, if the two boys became friends, it's kind of neat to share a name. Look on the bright side.

Answer 7

I can understand that you feel like she stole the name you picked out. And it can really be hard to tell your friends not to do something. But she did the right thing by asking you. Since you have now reconsidered how you feel about the subject you can always tell her how you feel. Just talk to her, a good friend won't end a friendship over this matter.

Answer 8

Now I wouldn't go so far as to call you mental, but I do feel that you are over reacting just a little bit. Think of it this way...she's not using the entire name you picked out. Not just that, but it just shows that she appreciates your good taste! A friend of mine was about to have her baby and was trying to pick out a name. She loved the sound of my son's name (Brennan) and asked if I would mind if she used it. She ended up finding another name but I was honored as a friend that she even considered it, and asked about it. Not only did it show (because she asked) that she valued me as a friend, but that she valued my taste in names, and such. (I ended up picking her son's first name - Austin.)

They say that "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!"

Answer 9

If she planned to have the first name be the same as your child's, then that would be a little odd. But middle names are hardly ever used except for formailities, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. Before too long, you both will be too busy taking care of your newborns to worry about names.

Best wishes!

Answer 10

It would kind of tick me off too. That's why I haven't shared the name we have picked out with anyone who is preggy!! :)
It's flattering in a way, but annoying in another. You are the one who did all the hard work of coming up with the name. At least she asked though!! That was pretty cool of her!!
Congrats and Good Luck!! :)