You cheat on your husband and fall in love with your lover. Your relationship with ur husband had hit a rough patch and things were new and exciting with your lover. You still talk to the lover and sometimes get torn between the two. Husband is obviously more controlling and jealous now. While other one only wants to be intimate. What to do?
2007-08-06 05:45:04 · 22 answers · asked by Jen-C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I understand your situation hardly to find a better solution. I am afraid your marriage is endanger because of having an affair with other guy. I understand why you needed that because, I am sure, your husband has not fully gave you what you need sexually or he might neglected you for a while.
In my opinion, it is proper to settle your differences with your husband. Give this priority choice beacuse he is your legal husband and to stay longer with the family you hardly worked for for. SAVE and loved your family first before.
If things will not work with your husband to reconsider and do his duties as husband to you, that's the time you consider the second alternative, your other guy?
I know you have the right to be happy, everybody of us has the right to enjoy the life at its best?
2007-08-06 17:43:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What to do?? Do the right thing which is try to correct the mess you've made. Drop the lover guy and work on your marriage. Use all the time, thought, effort and energy that you have directed towards Mr Lover and focus it on fixing the relationship you started with your husband. Marriage takes the effort of both parties to be successful. If there are issues with your husband, don't cheat on him, but go to marriage counseling and work on your problems WITH him. At the very least you should give your husband the chance to rebuild your relationship. You will get over Mr Lover as time heals all wounds, but you should spare him any further involvement and end things today. Bare in mind, there will be other rough patches in your marriage but always do the right thing first.
Good luck.
2007-08-06 05:56:06 · answer #2 · answered by ThatGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure its going to be more exciting with the lover than the husband, as u know your husband, rough patches and all, u haven't yet seen the rough patches u will have with the new man, because the relationship is new and there are no problems yet, but in every marriage and relationship there are problems that have to be worked through. sounds like the new man only wants to make love, and of course its all going to seem Rosy for now. but if u left your hubby for him it would eventually have its trying times too.
2007-08-06 06:21:27 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You try to remember that you made a promise. A very serious promise. Then you broke that promise in the most hurtful way. Though you can be forgiven trust still must be earned and transgressions should not be forgotten.
You either want to be married to your husband or you don't. To still hang-on to your lover... You're just begging for problems.
Only you can decide which way to go, but you're so far beyond needing to suck it up and decide...
Almost sounds like you're encouragable and shouldn't be married in the first place. I do hope there aren't any kids yet. In which case the choice is clear; you'll have created a mortal obligation.
What to do? Find the constitution to do what's right.
2007-08-06 06:06:44 · answer #4 · answered by chrism92661 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the husband has a right to lose trust in you. lover just wants a fling.... you should work on winning your husbands trust back, if its a good relationship all in all, everything gets rough at times. ditch the lover. hes only using you... if sex with your husband is bad, you can always show him what you want.
2007-08-06 06:15:51 · answer #5 · answered by sunshine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being selfish and make up your mind. If you are going to cheat just because you "hit a rough patch with your husband" than perhaps you should do your husband a favor and leave him. If it was a one time thing it would be one thing, but this sounds like a drawn out affair. Your husband deserves someone who is going to be faithful to him.
What would YOU do if your husband was doing this to you?
2007-08-06 05:48:30 · answer #6 · answered by DelinquentGurl 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your husband won't trust you for a while. The lover may only want you for sex and not want all the other things relationships bring.
Tough choice. That comes with fooling around while married.
2007-08-06 05:51:04 · answer #7 · answered by Big Red 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jen either give the guy that you had a fling with the travel card and cease contact with him. Or be honest with your husband and inform him that you can't fulfill the vows you exchanged with him when you promised to be faithful to him. Sounds like your playing games with yourself and trying to justify the fact that since things have gone a little flat in marriage (as it does in all relationships) that things look like more fun and excitement with the other guy. Be honest with yourself and your man, Karma has a way of getting back at us all and it may end a lot uglier then you ever imagined.
2007-08-06 05:50:42 · answer #8 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
unless you plan on changing relationships every few years, things will not always stay new...even if you go with the lover v/s staying with your husband...keep in mind lover will not stay new and focus on pros and cons of both men....you would hate to leave a commitment for someone who just wants sex too....be smart and think of who will take care of you emotionally and as a whole and who you want to grow old beside:)
2007-08-06 05:53:54 · answer #9 · answered by Meg S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you think you would feel if you husband had a lover? Do you even think about the hurt you'll be putting him through?
2007-08-06 06:01:28 · answer #10 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋