idea of being a "mom". However, recently I have began feeling very overwhelmed by the whole situation. His child is absolutely wonderful and I love him to death, I'm just worried that since I'm not mentally ready to be a mom that I am going to ruin our relationship. Any advice on how I can help myself be more at ease?
2007-08-06 05:01:28 · 6 answers · asked by rsbrytea 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Its the relationship you're uneasy with, not the motherhood. If you felt that things were great between you then a child wouldn't make that much difference
2007-08-06 05:07:21 · answer #1 · answered by Ask_Elvis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't look at the situation as being a mom, because fact of life is that you will not be portraying this role. You may eventually end up being viewed as the step mom but never as the mother as you were not responsible for being life to this child. Kids can and often are gages of how well our relationships work out and if at present you are uncomfortable with things then it would be wise to discuss these concerns with your man. He may be able to put your mind at ease. Communication is very important in all relationship, but ones that include children it is that much more important to be open with each other. Another fact of live is that this child will be in this man's life forever and so do not ever attempt to give him an ultimation or make him select you or the child or you'll likely find yourself out in the cold. Best of luck in sharing your feelings.
2007-08-06 12:10:32 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand as Im in the same situation but Im the guy that is really "daddy"!
guess what we should get out of these lover/newparent relationships and venture out into the world so we can find decent people like the parents of these kids, but childless. It hurts but we are in reality only shortchanging ourselves! We need to find each other(just kidding but thats my drift that you are catching)
Other parents will never tell you the truth but chances are THEY wouldnt even date single parents especially if they had not yet had a kid of their own! they are number 1 in your life and they are number 1 in the childs life, all we could ever possibly be is number 2 and I dont like those odds
2007-08-06 12:13:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always hard to deal with the fact that your partner has kids !! My husband has a little girl ! And since we started to date i knew it would be a bit hard! but never the less i knew this baby would always be there! His kid is great and i too love her to death I'll never be her mom and i understand that when something goes wrong with her i tell my husband and he can deal with it anyway he likes I'm not going to be the reason she goes and stirs up problems between her mom and my husband ! I don't pretend to be her mom she understand that she has a mom and I'm not trying to take her place !!! It is a bit hard but you learn how to be a good role model! Best of luck !
2007-08-06 12:12:26 · answer #4 · answered by mimi1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are only dating him, not married; not living with him so the title of mom or parenting of the child is not your responsibility yet. Enjoy the relationship and when you move in with him or get married then you will have the title of 'mom' Until then stop worrying!
2007-08-06 12:07:11 · answer #5 · answered by Mama~peapod 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being a mother comes naturally, a mother is loving , caring, you said it your self you love the boy very much! i believe you will be just fine. take baby steps! soon you will ask your self what was i worried about. it is when you break up with a boy-friend that has children involved that seems to take a toll on the chidren.
2007-08-06 12:16:16 · answer #6 · answered by 1happyfrog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋