This CAN'T be healthy. What do you think?

Question

Alright, I'm aware that I may come off as an insensitive, controlling wife (and I've already been told that by my husband), but I'm pretty sure he's mistaking that as me being a concerned wife. Tell me what you all think...

My husband is 6'2, 245 pounds (that's a 65 pound gain since we got married 4 years go). He drinks AT LEAST one 2 Liter of Mountain Dew a day, eats these god awful greasy breadsticks that he gets from the town gas station, eats plenty of fast food on his way to work, and can literally eat a whole pizza (and does very often). I call him a walking heart attack, and I really believe that. Heart disease runs in his family.. and he refuses to eat the fish or chicken I make for dinner; however, he never turns down a big juicy cheeseburger or steak.

I'm not trying to come off a motherly type, screaming at my husband to "eat his vegtables," but I don't want to be a wife 15 years down the road with a dead husband either. Am I overreacting?

Oh, I thought I had mentioned his age -- I guess not. He's 25, which I know makes him think, "hey, i'm young, I'm not going to die." I realize metabolism is on your side when you're young, but being that he gained 65 pounds in 4 years -- I don't think it's working like it used to.

I also did have him call the doctor this morning (as we got into a big argument about the issue). He goes next Monday for a full physical. My only worry now is if the doctor comes back and says "nope, he's healthy" -- it will only give him reason to continue this lifestyle... and you can only do this so long before you drop dead.

To "spelling nazi" -- up until your response, I pretty much agree with everyone's comments. I have to defend myself on this one. I have never been more concerned with appearence over health. If I was concerned with his appearance, I would be on the phone with plastic surgeons, not the doctor.

As far as the rotting food statement goes, I don't just buy that for him. We have a daughter and whether or not he eats healthy meals, my daughter DOES have to eat them... and I prefer to stay on the healthy side, myself.

Thanks for comment, anyhow.

Answer 1

I have the same concerns with my husband! Mine is 35 years old, 6'2 and 250 lbs. When he's dressed he just looks burly, but when he's not, you can see the pockets of unhealthy fat around him, and it is worrysome. Diabetes runs in his family. He'll be the first one to eat 2 snickers bars for breakfast. For me though, it's easier to maintain 'control' of his diet at home, since he doesn't have immediate access to the household money. But when he's on the road with work (railroad) he has an expense account and he frequently gets those energy drinks (high in calories and fat) and god knows what else. As far as the doctor goes, write up a note explaining your concerns. Ask the doctor to run some blood tests (his glucose levels etc). Go with him to the appt. and give the note to the nurse, and ask her to give it to the doctor. Other than that, and making sure you put healthier items in your house, that's really all you can do. Don't let it ruin your marriage. Unfortunately, he may not figure things out until he's already ill. Men tend to follow women by example though. Start exercising, make sure you are eating healthy etc. Maybe he will start doing it too.

Answer 2

He will see it as you being an annoying mother figure than a wife. Talk to him and tell him you are just concern for his health. He doesn't have to stop eating all the junk that he eat but he can cut back on some of it. If he doesn't exercise maybe suggest you guys do it together. The foods he eats can be made in a More healthy way if you are up to it. Prepare some for him and let him give it a try. Homemade pizza (low fat cheeses, etc) Cheeseburger you can use organic ground turkey or chicken instead of beef, season well he may not even know the difference.
The mountain dew he will need to work on.

Good Luck!!!

Answer 3

Look, if there are healthful ideas you'll have healthy pals. If you have healthy buddies you will have healthy ideas. One follows the an additional. If anyone says phrases of warmth then my coronary heart (my emotional intellect) feels good, but my mind says some thing someplace is incorrect due to the fact that no person can say phrases of warmth to people like me. Its not my difficulty but i don't show my personality, so theres hardly any individual who comes to understand a lot about me. And people who know will choose silence or a small smile to make me think excellent. :)

Answer 4

You do have a walking cardiovascular nightmare...I agree...but

You can not change a person. No matter how much you want too. You can provide healthy meals, you can offer to pack his lunch, and if you have kids, you can provide an excellent example.

BUT, he isn't going to change for you. So...prepare for the reality that you see. Afterall, people die all the time. And apparently you married someone at increased risk.

People (even men) can be that way. It is like smoking, drinking or any other behavior. It feels good to them and they think that problems only happen to others.

Take out life insurance if you must...but just get comfortable with the idea. Maybe he will get smart before he is 50 and having his first angioplasty. Maybe he won't. But you can enjoy your life.

Encourage health education. Be his resource when the time comes but for now...enjoy your gym and your healthy lifestyle.

There is a reason why women live longer. Now be comfortable with our little secret.

Answer 5

No. You are definitely not overreacting... But I think in order for him to understand the severity of his unhealthy habits, you need to stop nagging him and try to find another way to communicate to him where he will see that you truly are very concerned. Hell, I'm even concerned about this guy and I dont even know him.

Sit him down, and maybe get a check up. Just tell him that both of you need to be healthy, and both go into the doctor for a check up. Chances are he has high blood pressure... and IS a heart attack waiting to happen.

Its difficult because guys like this normally dont change until they are given a reason to. so have the doc help you out.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Not overreacting, but perhaps taking the wrong approach. He might be eating super unhealthy to prove that he in still in charge of a small potion of his life. LOL


He (and you) need to go to the Doctor, an internal medicine specialist, and have a complete physical. when they run your labs, they will determine if Hubby has dangerously high cholesterol, with a stress test they can determine if he has any blockages, and if he is indeed a "heart attack waiting to happen"


You did not mention age, that is a factor too, when you are young, you at least have metabolism on you side, Good luck.

PS: You could remind him that not all stroke patients die, some are horribly disabled, and linger in a wheelchair for twenty years.

Answer 7

I think that you're a concerned wife trying to help your husband stay healthy. Those are horrible eating habits, especially with him having heart disease in his family.
However, I'm not sure if anything less than a heart attach would change his habits. Alot of people think that they can eat what they want b/c they will die of something anyway...not realizing that they could be speeding up the process greatly.
If he won't compromise and eat the healthy things you cook maybe he would compromise on supplements. Maybe check into vitamins or natural supplements to promote heart health and circulation. At least that way it may somewhat counteract his eating habits.

Answer 8

His BMI is considered obese, but at his age he can do something about it, but I agree w/some of the others, maybe as a guise to add some type of excersize, see if you can convince him to take up dancing, skating walks (in a park would be less obvious) but you won't change him til he's ready but trust me, I'm sure his doctor will make suggestions due to the BMI, my husband has diabetes, high blood pressure in his family, he's 36 and the way he eats salt, it'll make you gag, he'll eat candy, ice cream, cookies, sometimes just one or a combo of them after dinner and sometime in between before bed AND drink Pepsi at the same time and yes I nag him too, he does have a high metabolism but it's still in the family, but now my husband is 6' and only 178, keep cooking healthily, and DO NOT make separate meals, he'll get tired of doing all his own meal prep.

Answer 9

No. Make an appointment with his doctor for a complete physical. Most insurance companies have a wellness benefit that will cover this. After his doctor gets the results, maybe he or she can make some suggestions that will make a difference to your husband. You do have to stop nagging because that only makes him more stubborn. Keep preparing good meals. If he chooses not to eat them, that is his prerogative. Don't make a big deal of it. I would purchase a life insurance policy for him. Show it to him and let him know since he isn't willing to change his habits, you feel obligated to look out for you and the kids should he suddenly kick off. Maybe that will shock him into action.

Answer 10

It isn't healthy.But it also isn't your place to tell him what to eat.If he is old enough to be married he is old enough to eat what he wants.You don't have to make those kinds of foods often but at least give him what he likes once a week or so.Even if his psychical comes back bad.He isn't going to change overnight.Or even at all he has to want to change.You can at least arm yourself with has much info has possible on eating disorders and heart disease.Try contacting the American heart asso.Get info on the disease.Do some research on it.Find out about cases of younger people having heart attacks and other obesity and poor nutrition related issues like stoke and diabetes.Let him see that his age doesn't make him immune to the problems.I'm not promising it will work.But I can tell you from personal experience that if someone would have taken the time to show me how dangerous my eating habits and weight problems were.Maybe I could have made changes before I had a stoke at 31 years old.