Please help, I need advice regarding my husband?

Question

My husband moved away from all of his family to another state to be with me & our child (I am also pregnant). We had marital problems including past abuse (over 1 year ago), & extreme amounts of cheating on his part. He promised me the world & was doing very well this last week. He found employment quickly, & has been very supportive toward me & our child. However, Saturday night he backslid. He was feeling antsy, & agitated. He left the house & went to a strip club. When he came home at 330 I saw video on his phone of him going out to eat with three girls he had met (they weren't doing anything but eating) & also several video clips from the strippers in the club. He promised me that he would never cheat on me again & that is why we got back together. I cannot just pack up my things & leave him because as I said he has a history of violence & although he has not harmed me in anyway in well over a year it is not easy to just up & leave. Am I overreacting I really need advice.

Answer 1

once an abuser always an abuser. that's just him and your never going to change that. he should not be at a resturant with 3 girls when your at home pregnant. are you kidding me. he sounds like a complete a...hole. you should never trust him. he will cheat on you again without a doubt. he probably did already don't think of excuses for a man like this, get out. he's dangerous. there is always a way to remove yourself even though it might be hard. don't put your new baby at risk please!!!you will find happiness without a person like this once you make a decision to kick him out

Answer 2

Its Me that is great that the abuse has stopped at present. Perhaps you and your husband could use some professional marriage or relationship counselling. If you feel that you are safe to discuss your concerns with him then this is what I would recommend. But do not allow yourself to live in fear and if any of his behaviors that were present before should re-occur than please remove yourself from the family dwelling and if necessary call the police for an escort. Haven't any idea of how you saw a video of him with three strippers out for a meal but sounds kind of fishy to this old guy.

Answer 3

You are not overreacting. I don't necessarily believe that once a cheater always a cheater...but your husband has shown that he will always cheat. He has total disregard for you and your unborn child. So he hasn't hit you yet....are you going to wait til the time comes before he does? He has a history of violence woman....leave him while you are still able to.

Answer 4

Its up to you. Sounds like you're just making excuses. Obviously, he's not going to change. You have to decide if you're willing to live with him and the things he does. If you are, then be happy and let him keep disrespecting you. If you're not willing to accept what he does then you're going to have to leave. Don't worry about him what he does, what he can do to you etc. You do what is best for you and your children. You can just pack and leave because its your life. Call a shelter they can help if you don't have family to help you. One week is not enough. He can show you if he's changed even if you're not together. Leave him

Answer 5

This man needs professional help. Since you have a child on the way it is most important that you take care of this now. Where are your parents? Move home until he gets the help he needs. You could be setting yourself up for a life of misery...

Answer 6

they'll finally devolve to the hunter-gatherer state, which could be a difficulty in case you reside in a city. you are able to come domicile to discover your goldfish have been cooked over a hearth made by using burning the settee and your baby working around bare and screaming like a chimpanzee whilst your husband suggestions lice out of his hair and eats them like some mountain gorilla. Hypothetically speaking, of direction. this might take 14-37 hours to take place, according to situations.

Answer 7

you have to ask yourself what does a promise mean to me? when children are involved in any kind of violence they are harmed. you may not see it right now but later on in life they may act out. your husband needs help anger management classes, and for yourself as well. you are co-dependent they have classes for co-dependents i really think you should look into this class. if you don't trust him then you dont have a very strong marriage it takes 2 to make a marriage work remember that!

Answer 8

Let me ask you this...if your daughter told you all of this, would you advise her to stay with the guy? Probably not. Your kids do not need this kind of chaos in their lives. The guy is a serial cheater and always will be, and he's far more interested in being a single guy than in being a married man. Jettison him and raise your kids. Do NOT stay because you're afraid, that's just stupid.

Answer 9

You're not over-reacting.
But you are staying like a victim often does...Tell me, what does it feel like to be a hostage in your own life? A scared prisoner in your own home? A pregnant woman who could at any moment end up like Scott Peterson's wife?
Think about that.
Then call the women's shelter and get the hell out of there TODAY.

Answer 10

don't be stuck in a relationship like that. get yourself a plan to get out. you don't need that. he has problems and you will only begett those problems on your kids. start making a plan on how you will get out of the relationship. who can you live with until you can get a job - do you need extra schooling so you can get a job? make yourself a 5 y ear plan and start by saying good bye to this guy. if he threatens to harm you then you will have to get a restraining order and move away. don;t put your life and the lives of your kids in any jeopardy. get out now.