My story is a bit long... I live outboard as students with my wife. We were separated one year. We had problems in our country and during that year I felt my love end. We met again after that year and things went worse. Six months ago I met a girl. We became friends immediately and it was like kinda immediate attraction. However we saw again after three months and I told her that I was married. However we continue our friendship. Continuously we agreed for coffees and long chats, she also did a lot to meet me. Little by little I fell in love. Then I felt that I cannot continue my marriage, and this girl offered me her support as a friend which I really appreciated so much and I told her my story. With this girl nothing has happened physically. Plus, luckily I have been offered a job in this country and I will return to work single after finishing my relationship and she knows about that.
2007-08-06 04:33:06 · 19 answers · asked by NewTiger :) 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
One day she asked me if she had something to do with my marriage problems. I said NO, I decided by myself that my relationship is over since my country. I always tried not to be calling her so much in the beggining of our friendship but little by little I began to miss her a lot. A month ago, two days before she travels for vacation. I couldn't resist anymore and I told her that I like her. She obviously got surprised because she thought that we were friends. In that moment I approached to her hold her hands and saw emotion in her sight. However she said that we are friends and we'll talk later. We were supposed to meet in her vacation. She said that it is better not. That she wants to talk with when she returns. Though she felt lots of sincerity in my feelings. At this moments she sees things different than my point of view. I got really sad and told her that I took the risk of expressing my feelings. Days Later she sent me a sms telling that she was sorry because we didn't meet
2007-08-06 04:33:23 · update #1
I told her that I will write her an e-mail when she returns. I did it and I confirm my feelings for her and my desire to know her better. I also express that I will go back to my country to finish my relationship and the most important that nobody has influenced on my decisions and feelings that I decided everything by myself. I let her free to decide what is better for her, let her free to check if she trust me or not. At the same time I let the door open to meet again as friends without commitments and demands, but I let her decide.... She's still on vacation... I haven't received more news from her... LADIES? I'm planning to dissapear completely of her life for a while... Do you think is the best? So she wouldn't feel any kind of pressure from my side.... ? Do you think that it willl be better to wait 3 months when I am back and take contact again as a single person to develop again our friendship???? LADIES plizz your comments will be very useful... I DONT HAVE KIDS in my marriage
2007-08-06 04:33:42 · update #2
I think you have the right idea. End your marriage and take some time to adjust. Then contact her again. She is probably holding back as you are still married and she is afraid of getting in too deep if you are just going to go back to your wife.
2007-08-06 04:38:43 · answer #1 · answered by Emma W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is always better to resolve issues in your current relationship before starting another. No one wants to feel like a third wheel. You can not expect her to want more than a friendship right now because she may not want to feel like she is a rebound. A woman likes to know she is the only woman in your life and that there is nothing that can come between you. You are still married and expressing your feelings for her is great. But, you can not expect more from her right now until you have got yourself together. Don't continue to press the issue or you will ruin the friendship that you have established. In this country, women want less drama. Having a wife whether separated or not is drama. Take care of your business and then go on your quest for love. Good Luck.
2007-08-06 04:48:32 · answer #2 · answered by flirty30 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oooh you are in a sticky situation arn't you??
To be honest I don't think it's even about the girl you met, You could have met almost anyone & felt exactley the same....Reason being is not because you fancy anything thats comes along but simply because you are having problems with your wife & quite frankly I think your LOOKING for an excuse to get out, The excuse was 'that girl'
I think you should go home......End your marriage in a nice way! and just get on with the simple things in life......Don't worry about a new partner yet! I think its too soon.
When the time is right your soul mate will come along......Maybe you will see 'that girl' again (if its meant to be, its meant to be)
But I wouldn't bank on it........3 months is a long time & you will have become a new man in 3 months.
All the best
2007-08-06 04:49:00 · answer #3 · answered by Maryann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your marriage had lots of issues before, and you know that you have gotten a divorce anyway, then obviously, it's always better to settle your previous relationship before you start another one. You have a friendship with this new girl for quite a while, and when you are single, you can try and contact her again, do not be pushy, and let her figure out what she wants. All you can do is be honest, as you have been so far, and make sure she wants a relationship with you beyond your friendship. She might just be waiting for you to be legally divorced before she gets further involved with you.
2007-08-06 04:43:40 · answer #4 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand you had to easily hear from the ladies, which outstanding away makes me suspicious. So observe to the sensible, i'm hoping you at the instant are not a scammer and attempting to get into the country by using way of an American woman. INS would be observing your butt. while you at the instant are not, nicely brother, you're able to clean your head. You have been away for a year out of your spouse; what'd the two of you anticipate? which you would be an identical persons after that plenty time and after having issues earlier you the two parted? It feels like one or the two one among you needed this to end. Now you elect to launch into yet another relationship? How do you realize for beneficial which you at the instant are not rebounding? in case you and your spouse get divorced, spend sometime straightening out your very own recommendations, do not rush into yet another relationship. in case you have not divorced, I strongly reccomend some sort of marraige counseling or medical care, to choose what the subjects are interior the marraige that are inflicting the rift between you. reason those issues ought to maintain on with each and every of you into your next relationships, if not resolved. wish all is going nicely.
2016-10-09 08:12:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This story is too close to my own. I too became friends with a man whose wife lived in another country and he said their marriage was over. I fell in love with him. He promised me that he was over her. All that was left was just paperwork. It is now 2 years later and he moved to the country she was from and they are back together. You need to do what is right before you get involved any further. It would be very unfair for you to involve this woman any further into your messed up marriage.
I have been there and I heard the same things from him as you said in your question. Do what is right and finish what you have going on first before you do anything more with this woman.
2007-08-06 16:08:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're being very responsible in making sure your old relationship is finished before anything happens. If you're sure that that is over, regardless of whether or not anything will happen with the new lady, then I think for now you should concentrate on getting that over and done with.
As regards the new lady, probably the best thing for now is to leave it up to her - you've told her how you feel so now give her a chance to get to grips with that and work out how she feels.
Good luck with it all, I hope it works out for you.
2007-08-06 08:54:47 · answer #7 · answered by pomme_blanche_2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes go home and have Closure before you start a new Life and Relationship. Do not leave yourself always wondering "What If". If it is meant to be, she will be there waiting for your return. If not she will move on. It sounds like she is unsure of her feelings for you and probably holding back because you are "still Married". Good Luck..
2007-08-13 04:05:06 · answer #8 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Algunas preguntas...
Do you know, and have you considered the consequences of getting divorced? - they're big. Both from your own perspective, and from your wife's. I don't know what's gone on in your marriage, but is there nothing else you can do to work things out? - Marriage councelling, support from your family and friends (especially male friends)? Wouldn't the feelings you have for this other girl also disappear after a bit - then what would you be left with?...
Que me escribis si quieres.
2007-08-06 08:42:56 · answer #9 · answered by Isabel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are sensible and mature. A marriage ending is a traumatic time and takes time to adjust. Rushing into another relationship is never the right thing to do. Take the time to really assess how you feel and let this lady contact you when she is ready. But make sure that YOU are ready too.
Good luck
2007-08-14 04:13:20 · answer #10 · answered by Clare B England 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋