This has just recently started this week. He is 7 mths old. When he goes down for a nap he is asleep and then 15-20 mins into his nap he is waking up screaming!! If I stand there and rub/pat his back he will fall back to sleep but I refuse to do that everytime he naps. If I don't rub/pat his back then he will just keep screaming until I finally go in and just get him up and say forget the nap. We are both very stressed out!! HELP!!
2007-08-06 04:29:50 · 5 answers · asked by LINDSAY M 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Why do you refuse to do that every time he naps? I don't mean that rudely, but if that works, and allows him to nap and you to get work done then what's the harm? Eventually he will not take naps any more, so it isn't like you are going to be rubbing his back for 18 more years. He obviously is feeling some anxiety about being away from you, and he needs you to reassure him that you are still there. As long as you aren't picking him up, I think a few back rubs to reassure him are appropriate.
2007-08-06 04:39:39 · answer #1 · answered by Campbell's mommy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are so many options on how to help children get to sleep but what is most important is that you pick the one you are most comfortable with and be consistent with it. If you know going in you aren't comfortable lettin him "cry it out" don't do it at all, not even once. It isn't fair to your son.
Look at all of your options (letting him cry it out on his own, visit every 5 minutes for reassurance, family bed, etc) and do the same thing every single time.
Be sure he is tired and ready to go to bed (and not that you're ready for him to go to bed), make sure he's fed and dry. Put some soothing music or white noise or a fan in his room. Most importantly, if you're sure he's tired, fed and dry, don't get him up. He'll expect that he should be able to get up every time and it's very hard for him to be made to stay down some time and allowed to get up other times.
Make sure his schedule isn't changing. He could be very early with dropping his morning nap... unlikely for a 7 month old, but possible. Also, is he teething? That can be painful and cause him to wake up. Maybe he needs some motrin before bed or some teething tablets. If he's been going down well for the past 7 months, he probably isn't having separation anxiety. If this is a new process for you both, he is certainly old enough to identify with being away from you when he isn't used to it.
Regardless of what is right for you, be consistent with it and after a couple of weeks, you're son will come to understand that nap time is the same every day. And again, make sure there isn't something else causing him difficulty.
2007-08-06 11:45:13 · answer #2 · answered by KCL 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain. My daughter is 1 and she's doing the same exact thing. She does it for naps and bedtime though. We have to stay in there until she falls asleep, and then when she wakes up and realizes were not there, all hell breaks loose! She's been doing it for a couple months now and I dont really know what to do about it. People say not to give into it, but when you live in an apartment with paper thin walls and neighbors everywhere, I cant let her scream for hours at 3am. I know what youre going through, and i feel bad for you. Its very hard to deal with sometimes, especially because Im 5 weeks pregnant right now and Im just so tired and I dont get much sleep at night because she wakes me up like 5 times crying and I have to soothe her until she falls back asleep (which sometimes takes forever). I hope it ends for you sooon, or you find a way to stop it. Im sorry this is so long, I guess I needed to vent.
2007-08-06 11:40:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its totally normal for him. its nothing to do with being separate with you.
At his age the world is exciting, he's learning to do things more and more, to interact and discover, so napping is NOT fun. Its normal for them to fight sleep all the time, especially nap time.
What he wants is for you to come and get him and take him back out into the exciting world. And thats just what you're doing.
you can go in and soothe him just like you are, but dont pick him up. Let him cry it out. Go in, calm him down without talking, and leave so he can cry himself to sleep. you have to keep the same pattern and routine each day. Nap time at the same time each day. Same routine. And then let him fight it on his own. Eventually he will fall asleep even though he's crying like crazy. And eventually he will stop fighting it, once his body is used to sleeping at the same time each day.
Its hard, but it is normal. And its not him feeling like he's abandoned. You know he's fed, he's changed, and he's fine. He HAS to sleep to develop. An over tired child is an unhealthy one.
2007-08-06 11:38:36 · answer #4 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We went through this with our little ones too. As hard as it is, you need to let him cry it out. The anxiety is that when he cries, you are always there. He is being conditioned by you coming in every time he awakens. You need to ween him of this now...Or he will get worse in the long run. Trust me, but you are the reason why he needs you to fall back to sleep. Usually separation anxiety is when they are a little younger, and the term "out of sight, out of mind" comes in.
Let him be independent.
Good luck,
From a parent of three.
2007-08-06 11:39:24 · answer #5 · answered by Thomas R 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋