Its our 1st year anniversary today...and very upset with my marriage for various reasons. off late i am into depression...or i fel i am getting into depression.
i am so attached to my husband...that its difficult to take any decision on my own.
we have been seeing a marriage counsellor...i'm happy on the day i meet the counselor...then it gets back being bad...
its ok as long as i'm talking to friends and family...it again gets back being bad in just a day...
its like i want to be with my husband...but he does not need me. he says that himself. that for him his mom is all his life.
i am finding this extremely difficult to bear with.
divorce is not an option....no children yet...not planning to have one soon either...
i desire a husband who needs me...but i do not have one.
is this destiny?
i am very confused...
2007-08-06 04:24:38 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honey you have to make a choice here. Your husband(if I am understanding this right) Is a mommas boy and she can give him everything he needs except sex. That's what you are for. Now the only way it is going to change is for you all to move away from mom. Counseling is a good step but, if he isn't willing to put you first then you are out of luck and either need to except it or move on. He needs to be a man. Mom isn't going to live forever.
2007-08-06 04:30:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it's strange that he considers his mom the number one person in his life...He needs to cut his damn embilical cord.
But, you obviously aren't going to be happy, unless some change is made. If he isn't willing to do this, then maybe you should consider getting out, while it's still early.
You say there's no kids anytime soon, but accidents happen all the time.
Do you really want to involved children in a unhappy marriage?
The only three options you have are...
1. Divorce him.
2. Continue counseling and see if he will make more of an effort to show he cares and appreciates you.
3. Just put up with it and learn to accept the way he is.
2007-08-06 11:30:26 · answer #2 · answered by darkening_hope 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well you have taken the right steps to see someone for help, so it's not any better, sorry to hear this, I'm going to cut to the chase here as of this month I've been married for 33 years, I filed for divorce two years ago and the court case for me has been in the system for the last two years, I hoped things would change and they got worse and worse, do not do what I did and live on false hopes, want to talk email me ok??
2007-08-06 11:36:53 · answer #3 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound very co-dependent. you need to go to therapy by your self for yourself. you will never ever have a healthy marriage with anyone until you yourself get mentally healthy. i would go to a counselor, and make sure he/she is good. if you don't like them, change. then, start developing your own interests. biking? swimming? acting? art? writing? photography? find an interest and develop your person. it will get your mind off of your marriage for a while and believe it or not, your marriage will take care of itself. once you are stronger you can discern what it is that you really need in a relationship. and by all means DO NOT bring a child into this life in a so-so marriage. you and your baby deserve better. bottom line: FOCUS ON YOURSELF AND YOUR MARRIAGE WILL FOLLOW. OK? good luck.....
2007-08-06 11:35:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to be always with him when
he's a self admitted MAMA'S Boy. See a Dr.,
get some anti depressent pills that help your
confidence and self esteem. Then get a job if you
don't have one and leave him. Even if you can't
divorce, you can have another life. There are a
lot of needy guys out there and you need to be needed.
2007-08-06 11:36:05 · answer #5 · answered by Lee D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you two need to spend some time away from each other.
Marriage should be happy, full of love and fun, you know? The person you marry should be your best friend- the person that is able to help you up when you're down. They shouldn't be the one that's putting you down.
2007-08-06 11:32:52 · answer #6 · answered by msxcheshirexcat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not willing to consider divorce, then you must bear up in the situation. Counseling may help, but it is difficult to change someone in a fundamental way.
2007-08-06 11:30:52 · answer #7 · answered by astralpen 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋