why would an ex husband still contact his ex wife?

Question

I have a friend who was married to a guy since she was 18 years old. They divorced over six years ago but over the course of the last year he has been in contact with her. He calls her and texts her all the time. He also makes reference to her appearance on how good she looks and he makes sexual comments about her. She is not sure if he wants her back or not. Just to add right now he is involved with another woman they may even be married. He says he is alone most of the time and they don't spend much time together. He says he keeps waiting onthe moment where their relationship will be like him and his ex wife relationship use to be. But for some reason he keeps contacting his ex wife. They talk almost everyday or every other day. He also does things for her like help her fix her car and he brought her fruit when she was sick in the hospital. My friend still has feelings for him and if it was up to her they would be back together. However, she is not sure if he wants her back ?

Answer 1

Why would she want him back especially if there is another female he is involved with. She is familiar to him and that is why he is craving her now. He may be unhappy in his new relationship but that is no excuse for him to act this way. This may be why he is an ex-husband in the first place. She may need to re-evaluate her thoughts on she would even consider wanting him back, is she just lonely? I think he is just looking for a piece on the side.

Answer 2

Not much you can do about it since it is your mother-in-laws home. However, you should express that you do not like the idea but realize he needs to see his children. As a child of divorce what my dad calls Nuclear families are on the raise - he is your husband-in-law no matter how much you don't want to accept it. I now have 2 dads and 2 moms and with a lot of work and communication they worked out the uncomfortableness of such family structures. I suggest you make a good and strong effort to let you wife know how much you miss her so there is no room for her to be drawn into any emotional uncompromising position that she would regret. Let her know that you need to trust her in this situation and hope that she loves enough and believes that you love her enough to sustain any temptation or obstacles that presents itself. All my parents get along now and there has never been any hanky panky because it was put on the table and opened up for discussion. If you can make a weekend visit to be with your wife, I assure you "HE" will find a way home or you two can talk and you can with great civility show him the boundaries he cannot cross. Whatever you do don't fight with your wife over the phone and make her feel guilty

Answer 3

When people get married, it is usually to some one who they considered a "friend." So it is understandable when divorced spouses try to keep in contact with one another like when her ex helps her out. However, this man is in another relationship, yet he is trying to get in his ex-wife's pants. The texts and sexual talk is what he probably did with someone else before they divorced. If he loved her or wanted her back he would be with her. He would not be playing with her emotions. She should keep away from him until she is ready to deal with him and not be hurt if he doesn't care.

Answer 4

Why would he still contact her? Because his life sucks and he wants her back, of course! If she doesn't want him back, then fine, but THAT is the real question. If she is smart, she'll make him go to couples' counseling with her before she even thinks about having him back. He is her ex for a reason. People CAN change, but it doesn't mean they will. They need to discuss the problems that caused them to split in the first place and come up with solutions. Then he needs to prove himself, which means breaking off his current relationship. Until the problems that broke them up in the first place are resolved, I give them zero chance of making it work. But if he truly is willing to work on it (and immediately dumps the other woman), and she still likes him, then why not? That said, if she has any self-respect whatsoever, she wouldn't even talk to the guy until he ends his current relationship.

Answer 5

He's keeping his options open in case his new relationship doesn't work out. Which means that your friend is just another notch on the belt and is being played.

If he were a decent person, he would not keep two (or more) females on the string. She needs to tell him to make up his mind for once and all. Otherwise, cut the ties.

Answer 6

Regardless of what he says, if he's involved with someone else...It's wrong of him to be in contact with her.

She should put into perspective that he's being dishonest in his current relationship. Does this mean he'll be different for your friend if they went a second round...?

Tell her she needs to think about why they divorced to begin with...Then ask herself if being with him again will be a good idea in the long run.

Answer 7

Why she would want a liar and a cheat back is beyond me. Sounds like he gets all the perks without having to commit. Surely sticking a fork in her eye would be less painful than a relationship with this loser.

Answer 8

I agreed to what the other says. Because he found out that he lost what he had before, he is trying to make up for it now. do tell your friend that he is playing head games to her because he knows her weakness,which he did used before. now that she moved on,he can see that what he have now is not really what he expect to have. Tell your friend that she is more smarter than him, if he keep on helping her or even bring her some fresh fruit, just accept it as a gift,but don't show him that she s also willing to participate.......

Answer 9

He knows how she feels and is just using her. She should cut all ties to him and go on with her life. This guy will only break her heart over and over again....