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I am 8 weeks pregnant and having a hard time deciding whether to keep the pregnancy. My boyfriend has already stated that he does not want me to have the baby and his attitude has taken a turn for the worse since I told him. The important details of this story are that I was told 3 months ago by a specialist that the only way the I would be able to conceive would be through IVF(in vitro fertilization) due to a blockage in my fallopian tube( I only have one due to a past ectopic pregnancy many years ago). I am gainfully employed, but my boyfriend is struggling with his career. I have a 10yo child already from a previous relationship and he has a 2yo son. The dilemma is should a child be brought into the world without 2 willing parents? I know that more than likely if I continue the pregnancy, the relationship is over. I am willing to have my baby and move on with my life, but is it fair to be the only deciding party? I am in a bad place right now and I need advice.

2007-08-06 03:38:28 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting Pregnancy

35 answers

you should keep the baby, if he wants nothing to do with it, then you can do it on your own. don't get an abortions.

2007-08-06 03:42:21 · answer #1 · answered by Tiara 6 · 3 2

This is a tough question there is no exactly right answer and there is no exactly wrong answer either.If there is a child already growing inside of you then it already going to be a tough decision because your bonding with the child and it knows you as it's mother.If abortion is a choice in this situation you can only have done up to a certain week.I believe it is either the 12th week.However, there is the option of adoption there are so many women and famalies who want a child but can't concieve them and there only alternative is adoption.S any families can give children a good home maybe one you feel that you cannot provide for the child.If chooseing adoption you can also have an open adoption which is where you can sometimes see the child and get pictures and updates on the child that way you know it is well cared for.However you also have to deal with all the emotions involved with whatever choice you make.My best advice is if you feel that you cannot be a mother to this child and support it and you also feel the father cannot do the same then maybe you should consider adoption.Good Luck don't stress you will find the right answer when you least expect it.

2007-08-06 05:11:57 · answer #2 · answered by Jon K 2 · 0 0

I can only imagine the kinds of responses this question is going to generate. This subject couldn't be more controversial, but I think that most of the replies will be from people that already have a bias toward answering the question from one side or the other without taking into account your own personal issues. Everybody has unique variables that need to get plugged into this abortion equation. I don't think that either side of the issue would always say the answer is zero (or no). However, most people would probably think that the answer is usually no, i.e. once the life exists, we have to assume that the baby has a full interest in living, so the mother's issues are not 100% overwhelming toward the decision. For example, there is always the adoption concept. My understanding is that there are plenty of folks out there who cannot conceive that are looking for a newborn. These people (who have decided that they want a baby and are not in the same position as you who just had an accident) are probably going to be very good providers for the child.

This is just my opinion, and I wish you the best.

2007-08-06 04:12:12 · answer #3 · answered by Dude2 2 · 0 0

The relationship with the father sounds like it's over anyway whether you have the child or not. He may not have wanted another child, but there's nothing he can do about it now if you decide to keep it. Whether he stays with you or not, he will be legally obligated to help support it.

The child can grow up happy with just one loving parent, or if you don't want it you can also give it up for adoption. But if you really do not want to raise it yourself, and don't want to fool with carrying it to term and then going through labor just to give it away to someone else (and there are already lots and lots of children out there unable to find foster parents, though babies tend to get adopted quicker than older children), and if you are 100% certain you will not have any second thoughts about it afterwards, then abortion may be the right option for you.

Whatever you do it's your body, your child, your choice in the end. Don't let your boyfriend pressure you into doing what he wants. If you make the decision based on what he wants and not what you would prefer, then you will regret it down the road.

Also from now on, I think I might get a second medical opinion when someone tells me a statement as profound as the one that "specialist" told you. Maybe they were right and this pregnancy is just a freak incident, or maybe they were mistaken.

2007-08-10 00:59:20 · answer #4 · answered by goldenrose82 5 · 0 0

The real questing here is do you love and want this child. With your situation, you may not be able to have another one. Could you happily live the rest of your life without any more children? I know that he's not going to be a willing father and that is very important in a childs life. However, there are lots and lots of men out there who can't wait to be someone's dad so that should not make your decision for you. I think that if you are not absolutly sure you WANT an abortion, don't do it. When it comes down to it, there are a million options once you decide to have this baby, and only 1 if you decide not to. Unless you are absolutly positive and understand fully the consequences of what an abortion could do to you, you shouldn't do it. And any man who would leave you because you are having his child isn't worth keeping anyway.

2007-08-06 03:50:53 · answer #5 · answered by Tresa R 4 · 0 0

If a man is willing to break off a relationship because you want to have his baby then is this the kind of man you want to spend your life with? If things are getting worse, then this relationship has already ended no matter what you decide, he doesn't care for youre feelings. Not good.
Secondly, this may be your only chance to have another baby if you have a blockage, this is a blessing.
Thirdly, I feel if he was willing to have unprotected sex then than he already had his say. You said he has a 2 yr old so he clearly knows where babies come from. Now this is your body and your baby too, it is fair for you to decide to protect your baby, you were giving a wonderful blessing for reasons unknown.
From my own exp. I wouldn't abort. I have 3 wonderful children and mine were once where yours is now.
You said you are willing to have the baby, that shows that you feel it is the right thing to do, you will most likely regret it. I guess I would turn the question around and ask: Is fair to end a life because of the father? It is your body that is with child, it is a life or death decision. It sounds like you want this baby. Yes, I do think it is fair for you to decide as your baby needs you to survive and this is up to you. This is only my oppinion but it sounds like you already know how you feel about this and I truley believe that if your baby could speak that he/she would want a chance to live life. So the vote is in, 2 for and one against, HE HAS BEEN OUTVOTED! I know you are in a bad place right now and you have many real worries. Listen closely to your true self, that is what matters most. Don't let him force you into abortion with threats because in the end, most likely, this guy is not going to be with you anyways and you are the one that will have to live with this decision, it is your baby too. My thoughts are with you. Be strong. It is fair, you are not the only deciding party as you didn't force him to have sex.

2007-08-06 05:24:32 · answer #6 · answered by tia 2 · 0 0

** HUGS **

First Of All, You're Not Alone...

But Think Of Your Baby... It's Not His/Her Fault That The Daddy Doesn't Want Him/Her... If You Were Told That You Can Only Get Pregnant Through IVF Than You Should See Your Baby As A Miracle!!! It's Amazing That After Being Told That, You Were Able To Conceive Naturally!!!

If You're Financially Stable I Say KEEP IT!!! You're Allowed TO Make The Choice, It's YOUR Body And YOU'RE The One Growing That Baby Inside You!!!

A Lot Of Women Have Children At Your Age And Even Later... My Father's Girlfriend Was 43 And Had A Child Last Year!!!

Congrats On Your Miracle And Stay Strong!!

2007-08-06 03:49:13 · answer #7 · answered by Tink's Mommy 3 · 1 1

No, don't! Take this time to decide whether you're ready/able to raise the child yourself, or give another couple who would love a child the most wonderful gift in the world! You have an opportunity to do something wonderful here, don't waste it. You won't regret keeping the baby. Not that it will be easy to raise on your own or put up for adoption, but it will be much easier to do either of those options than to live with the guilt that comes with abortion. Good luck.

2007-08-06 04:51:00 · answer #8 · answered by van girl 2 · 0 1

Search your own soul for the answer and do what you feel is right for you, in the long run it will be the only thing that will bring you lasting happiness.

Many will tell you that abortion is morally, spiritually or even physically wrong but that is their own opinion and you are not obligated to listen to anyone, no one else can know what decision is best for you, only you can determine that.

I will say that the life essence (or spirit) does not enter into a child's body until the first breath is taken after birth, that is why it is called the breath of life.

Have confidence in your self to make the right decision for your self. You can do it, I believe in you.

Treat others the way you would want to be treated. :-)

2007-08-06 04:00:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Well first off this is your decision and yours alone.. who cares what the father of the baby wants he isnt the one going to go through all the pain, so you decide to keep the baby, if he leaves you can get him for child support. and you already have two so one more wont make that big of a deal.. and if anything have it give it to a loving family that cant have babies. .. theres so many more options other than abortion.. abortion is murder. GOOD LUCK. and if you were told the only way you could concieve is through IVF and you ended up pregnant this way feel BLESSED

2007-08-06 03:48:35 · answer #10 · answered by Amy 4 · 1 0

as I see you are not a child, you already have a 10 y old so since you were not in a relatioship with the father that mean you have been a single parent
and as you are not new to the game, but of you should have used protection so this will not have happen
as 2 adults you two should have know better
this say, I can not imagine why you will want strangers to help you make such a personal decission
but since you ask, why would you abort a child that is a miracle you mistake was to slept with a jerk (and you are not the first female that has make that mistake) the truth is evne if you abort this child your rlationship with this man will be over
so my advise is to have your child & Thank God for it
This is for you & I hope you take it to hart
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

2007-08-06 03:58:52 · answer #11 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0 0

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