neighbours daughter is trying to seduce my husband?

Question

our neighburs 16yr old daughter has a major crush on my husband. They chat occasionally on msn. Bear in mind my husband is soooo not interested. They were chatting the other night and we pretended i wasn't looking in on the convo and she tried to convince him to go to london so they could go drinking together. Has anyone got any suggestions about how i can warn this 16 yr old W.hore off my husband before i punch her lights out...bear in mind im not usually the confrontational kind....( i don't want to get into trouble)

also this 16 yr old has slept with 7 guys that we know of this year and already had threesomes..at her age!

she is our neighbours daughter..and we get on with the family..he is our friend...theres nothing wrong with chatting to a 16 yr old..she's the one doing the advancing...we are only 24 ourselves so have alot in common like our taste in music and tv etc..nothing devious about it...

she lives in london with her mum but visits her dad every few weeks

i bring up who she has slept with as i think it may be a sexual conquest or maybe she is lonely and trying to find a nice guy who treats her like a grown-up...

thanks for all the suggestions. I will tell my husband to stop talking to her on msn and have a word with her father ( by the way he was the one who told us about how many guys she's slept with) I think some of you may be right about it being issues with her father etc...and i shall try to calm down...but think..if you had a 16 yr old chasing your other half..how would that make you feel?

Answer 1

sounds like everything started innocently enough.

the problem is she is predatory (relentlessly hunts a specific target, with disregard for all others or the possible problems)- with such a person not telling them to shut up and back off (perhaps more polite ways may be in order, perhaps more direct and less subtle) at every attempt.
to not do so for such a person is taken by them as encouraging - even blocking them is sometimes taken as being encouraging (the idea of 'playing hard to get' has caused a lot of damage over time, tho is sometimes is accurate). depending on how that works would really say as to what may be required next.

usually it is more effective to completely (or as close to completely) sever contact, and ignore atempts to regain contact. people who tend to act thsoe ways dont tend to tkae this well tho (often they seem to act as tho only they have that right, despite what they may say) and may respond with a very unpleasant smear campaign. but then I do not know this girl, based on what your saying, this would not surprise me.

yes she may well have issues with her father. she obviously has issues the quesstion of the root causes is quite a question. as ever such things are remarkably complex and differ with each individual. But I would imagine it may well ahve something to do not so much with her father him self or perhaps her mother, but more to do with how she came to view things surrounding both of them, and her. but this is digressing.

best advice would to blow things open, depending on how you believe it may well be taken by her father (which would be difficult to gauge at any rate) take msn records, as it may be wise to be able to back up whats being said, as I would imagine she wont respond to take responisbility, adn her father may well be tempted to stand by her. I woud suggest seeing her father first - then arranging perhaps for all of you to see her at the same time so she can see that there isnt going to be an easy way of lying her way out - of course tho such a thing could only be done if no one raised their tempers.
the danger with that is you may alienate both her father and her.

ofc tho a very simple way is stop communicating with her, apart from where a friendly relationship is required t o keep the peace.

Answer 2

Hi,

Right my honest opinion - what the hell is your husband chatting to a 16 year old girl for on MSN anyhow?!

He is encouraging it by speaking to her like that. MSN is a place where they can chat inimately and stuff like that. If I were you I would be putting a stop to that straight away.

Don't go punching her lights out - she is the child in all this, she is just the legal age.

She obviously has a crush but your husband isn't really helping and is to blame too - he is chatting to her and so on.

If he wants this marriage to work and is not interested in dating a kid then he needs to give her the message loud and clear. He needs to stop these MSN chats.

Then the two of you need to talk openly and honestly because you obvious can't communicate a lot and have issues. He seeking attention from a child and that is wrong so you need to discuss this in detail and work at solving your marriage and not use young girls as an excuse in all this.

If you know her parents then I would go and have a word with them but you need to be sure your husband isn't making this girl any promises - such as running to London and so on.

It sad that at 16 she feels need to go having sex with guys. But at her age, if an older man shows an interest then she going to be interested. I think a word with hubby first is in order because what the hell are they chatting about and it upsetting she feels she needs to grow up before her time.

Good luck!

Lx

Answer 3

16 year old girls get crushes, they have hormones and are still going through pubity. Hormones can make people think irrationally, she may see your husband chatting to her online as a come on sign. She is still a child at 16 and probably romanticizes everything he says to her or reads in to it. I am by no means saying your hubby meant to encourage her but if it has now come to the conclusion that both u and your hubby can see that she is taking his friendship the wrong way, he should really back off. This would be the same in any situation, whether it be with a work colleague or anyone. I know you are angry but knocking her lights out isn't the answer.Like I say she is still a kid and it sounds like she is missing some attention elsewhere in her life for her to have slept with so many men so young. Unfortunately some men take advantage of vulnerable girls like this. Don't let your hubby run the risk of attracting local gossips by his friendship with the girl and also for your own sanity.It can't be a very nice situation for you to be in and as it has hurt your feelings your hubby should avoid all contact with her asap.
The girls dad shouldn't be going round telling neighbors about her sex life, thats just wrong.If she grows up in a few years and gets her life balanced out and happy what a horrible thought to think her neighbours know all about her past antics and she could be tarred with that same brush for many years to come when she grows up.
Just avoid this girl and same goes for your hubby.You don't have to be nasty but she needs to get message that hubby aint interested.

Answer 4

I know u say your husband isnt interested, but chatting to her on msn says otherwise, i cant believe he is conversing with a 16 yr old girl, this is seriously a problem, your husband is the adult, he is the one that needs to stop all this, if he keeps writing to her she will be receiving mixed messages.
he needs to completely cut all ties and or tell her he is not interested she is only a kid for god sake. My daughter is nearly 18 and she isnt even allowed on msn or the computer unless im home supervising. i would freak if i thought she was talking to a married man.
If i was this girls mother, i would have grave concerns about y a grown married man is on msn chatting to a teenager.
Not a good scenario when you look at it that way.

Answer 5

Did you know your husband could go to prison and be labeled a sex offender for talking on msn about sex with a minor, even though she initiates the conversation (according to the law she does not know better, your husband does) Seriously he has to stop all chatting with her. Telling her parents might trigger an arrest as he is the guilty party here (according to the law)

And you people thought all people on the sex offenders list deserve it! Wake up America, teenagers today are a bunch of $luts.

Answer 6

I agree that maybe you should have a word with her dad and if you don't feel comfortable doing that then just tell her, you and your husband, that you know what she's up to and it would be in her best interest to quit. Besides who really cares how many guys she's slept with...the number doesn't matter but the fact that she's trying to sleep with your husband does. Sounds like you need to speak your mind on this one!

Answer 7

The responsibility is not yours. Your husband is the adult with the two. He shouldn't be talking to her on MSN and he should tell her to back off instead of encouraging her, like you two did the other night. In fact, I'm thinking that your husband is enjoying the attention, otherwise he wouldn't bother with the kid.

As for the number of people she has slept with, that's not really any of your business. You sound very immature and sexually retarded to even bring that up.

Answer 8

Your husband should be very short with her and let her know he is not drinking, nor emailing, or anything with her, ad she will walk away.
Be careful! your husband can get in trouble, if she is upset it didn't work out her way, she may make up a story and get him in trouble, she is a minor. Your husband is an adult and definitely should not be msn to a 16 year old talking about alcohol, he will definitely be in trouble this is not a game. If it was my daughter I will be concern about your husband participating in it.

Answer 9

If you intend to learn all the strategies behind the artwork of seduce a woman then that https://tr.im/tFgXe is your book.
The Tao of Badass is an original and particular eBook that includes the fundamental and workable techniques to get the woman you would like, finding recognized by the women and or maybe more women asking you out for a date.
To cover points up, you'll receive a totally step by step description of the word badass that is heavily used in the book – ‘badass '.
Joshua Pellicer brakes down the term ‘badass'in to 25 crucial components so that you know exactly how to be ‘that man'who gets all the ladies he desires.
Learning ‘why you get it done' is required for getting your trust in the brand new techniques you learn.
Tao of Badass will enable you to get totally fired up to hit the groups and begin putting your skills to rehearse!

Answer 10

Sweet Pea you want to punch her lights out but your hubbie is entertaining the little girl on msn. Not good, looks like you are being fooled by the hubbie because if he wasn't interested he would not have anything to say to a 16 year old girl. She would not still be pursuing him unless he was entertaining. You have to be more wise about it. You need to tell your husband to stop Chaitin with her and your problem will be solved. good luck!