what do you do when your hubby wants you back after 3 months of not talking?

Question

i have been married to him for 5.5 years and i love him with all my heart what do i do?

he did not leave for a other girl and we have talked about the last 3 months. but if i take him back this will be the 4th time. i love him a lot and i know he loves me but its his family that dont like me

Answer 1

Sweet Pea sometimes it takes separation for people to see what they truly have in a marriage. How do you feel about this situation? I think it is great when a hubbie and wife can reconcile their differences. He misses you because he loves you and he realizes that being apart is tearing his heart apart. Sometimes men don't like to tell you how they really feel right away so it probably took him 3 months to tell you. If you love him I say go for it. Good luck on your decision and God bless!

Answer 2

Why does he want you back, thats what you have got to ask yourself ??????
for a place to stay, does he actually love you but has been going through a really rough time. Or is he the type of man who marries a woman he does not love and supresses the pain of denial that he never loved you ?
These are things you have got to find out on your own
If you love him you can't help it ! but you have to be careful though because heartbreak is a permanent scar. Does he enjoy talking and chatting and just being around you without wanting anything more then he truly loves you but if he does tend to think of other people a lot then he is restless and probably doesn't love you as much as you love him. If he doesn't enjoy being around you and is worried he could have another woman friend and feel guilty or have other issues to resolve. The problem is that a lot of people especially men can't express themselves and this is probably the main reason why most men die at a younger age than women. Its important than he knows he can trust and talk to you about anything even if its painful. Don't give up on him communicate and spend some time with him to observe his actions. if you are not his first priority he either has problems or doesn't truly love you. He may have depression I know what its like and its hard to love someone in that state of mind.

If he loves you truly he shouldn't give a toss for his family you should be number 1.

Answer 3

Time to do some soul-searching. How come you did not talk for 3 months? There was a reason for it. Don't worry about how much you love him. That can deceive you and does not help you make the right choice, although you DO want to be certain you love him before you decide to take him back. But what if it isn't a good idea to take him back?

Think. Talk to some friends and family about it. Analyze why you split. Will things really change if he comes back? Is he willing to go to counseling with you? Can you really trust him? If the answer is "No," then you are best off calling your attorney and moving on. It will be the best thing to do. If you can HONESTLY answer "Yes" to the questions above, then make an appointment with a marriage counselor, ask your husband to go, and go from there.

Good luck!

Answer 4

It seems that a pattern has been established when it's a back and forth thing with you two. He leaves, vanishing and maintenaning radio silence. Then, when he is ready, he comes back to a spineless wife who take him back. I tell you, if you have kids, I feel sorry for them, and if you don't have children, I suggest you keep it that way. Understand, that his family cannot be the one who dictates how he behaves, and if they are you either must move far far away, or tell him that he is on probation for a year, so if he pulls a Houdini and vanishes again, you are marching yourself to the nastiest divorce lawyer you can find, and whatever salary and property he has, will also magically decrease in size. One more thing, If a husband just takes off like this it's a legal no-no. Under the law it's called ABANDONMENT OF SPOUSE/MARITAL HOME.

Answer 5

It seems like he's trying to make his parents and siblings happy by not talking to you. (atleast thats what i figured out from the additional info in your question). If you feel thats the case don't just go back to talking to him so fast coz that way he'll do it again and again. You should teach him a little lesson. But first analyze the whole situation logically and THINK HARD. Is he really going quiet to make his parents happy?? Or is he cheating on you?? Or is it something you did or said during a fight that made him so angry that he stopped talking to you?? If you were at fault, just don't repeat your mistakes. If he was, Ask him to tell you the reason first and admit his mistake and say sorry. I have a feeling you might have said something aweful about him or his family that he stopped talking to you. Sorry if i'm wrong. Even if that IS the case, just admit your mistake and don't do it again. His family deserves as much respect as your family. And you're a part of his family. If they don't like you or if they did something bad to you, deal with the matter without bad-mouthing them. i know its hard but its good for your marriage. Good Luck!!

Answer 6

Ask yourself what has changed in the 3 months. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Unless he has done some hard work with a counselor or therapist, whatever he was doing before will likely be repeated. If you love him no matter what, the answer is pretty simple. The "no matter what" can get to be awfully big. I would let him know he has some TALL explaining to do both as to what led to his decision and what has happened to change him. "Thinking" won't cut it as an answer.

Answer 7

If you love him then it's definitely worth another go... but don't rush into anything.
Make sure his reasons for wanting you back are the right reasons.
Make sure you have open communication and this means talking about what happened to your marriage. Find out what he was thinking those 3 months of not talking.
If you want him back then this could be a really good thing...but don't set yourself up for more heartbreak...go into it with your eyes wide open.
I hope he wants you back because he loves you and doesn't want to live without you.
Hope it works out! Best of luck!

Answer 8

Make him crawl back with his tail between his legs and court you again,he wants to start again so make him start again right from the beginning if he doesn't think your worth chasing don't bother flower dinner the whole works,so you have time to forgive him and fall in love again maybe second time around you will either love him or you will be over him.Good luck I hope you find happiness with or with out him,make him know the heartache he put you through.

Answer 9

Three months is a long time to not speak to your spouse. I mean this sounds crazy to me. What could have possibly happened to make him not speak to you for 3 months. It sounds a bit manipulating to me and I would be very cautious to just let him come back so easy. He may just do it again and again is that how you want to live? My advise is to let him go and play games with someone else.

Answer 10

This isn't a simple yes or no answer.

You two should seek out therapy to talk through the issues that drove you apart in the first place. If you can work through those things, you'll come out stronger in the long run.

You owe it to him, yourself, and your relationship to try to do what you can to rebuild a new life together. Just take it one step at a time.

Renny