I am looking for suggestions and tips on how to help wife feel more comfortable about expressing her sexual desires.
Due to the her upbringing she has always been reserved when it comes to sex. I would like to slowly help her understand it is ok to express and share such things with me.
2007-08-06 02:52:46 · 6 answers · asked by lovelonghair 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, realize that it is normal for women to be reserved about sex. Who in their right mind would teach their little girl to be loose? She had good parents.
Second, realize that it is your job to help her enjoy it. You are her teacher. To do that you must be patient and not expect instant results. She will appreciate your understanding and be more willing to open up to you. Remember, sex starts in the brain, (at least for women)! If she TRUSTS you she will yield to your lessons.
Third, don’t expect her to instantly turn into a wildcat just because she is married. She needs time to undo the years of conditioning to be a “good” girl. It will take time and experimentation and love to help her relax.
Fourth, forget about specific “techniques”. Gradually, (very gradually) vary your routine just a little. Maybe a slight change of angle is all it will take to get her going. Learn HER body and what she likes. She doesn’t really know what she likes until she realizes such a thing exists. Once she knows what she likes, she will be able to talk about it hopefully.
In summary, become a student of your wife’s body so you can learn together. It can become a lifetime of adventure together. And as she gets older and wiser, she will know what she wants.
2007-08-06 03:11:48 · answer #1 · answered by motorcyclegrandmama 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, discuss with her that you would like to have freedom with her body, and that you should both agree to let you go as far as she can stand in any given direction, and only stop you if she really hates it. Then, over MANY long, slow, gentle nights, you should feel out the parts she loves touched, rubbed, stroked, kissed, and so on ... you ought to read a book or two ... the books on sex are usually short and easy reading. I can tell you (from experience), that she will never feel free to ask for anything specifically until you have done it on your own and she thinks you like it ... it just doesn't come easy when you have been raised a certain way. But if she can just passively "let" you discover those things that make her wild, and if she can safely feel you love doing it, she will grow bolder.
Don't ask her to vocalize or initiate near the beginning ... don't say "do you want me to lick you here?" and make her answer ... she would rather say "no" and give up the pleasure than say "yes" and feel "dirty."
Release the demon inside her ... but not all at once and not right after you two have the conversation .. she will be most uptight the first session or two after that, so do things as normal ... then three or four sessions after your conversation, start exploring (Without brining it up, for God's sake!!! Don't mention the idea of "new" at ANY POINT during the exploration or her red light will go on and she'll be uptight when she realizes it's a pointed test ... she can't help it).
God luck!
2007-08-06 10:06:18 · answer #2 · answered by Random_Girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would suggest some sort of playing with her imagination. Get a "toy" that you think she would like. Use it on her and tell her to imagine its someone else. This may help her open up. She can imagine its a singer or a movie star or even your best friend. Let her know that it doesnt mean that you want her to do that with someone else, its just play. Once she "lets go" you will know. Have her say his name, Tell her to keep her eyes closed and then you take over and have her call you by that name. It may take a few times but it works.
2007-08-06 10:38:03 · answer #3 · answered by the need to know 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After she is really turned on and (usually) less inhibited, ask her some questions and say some slightly naughty things about how she looks, how she makes you feel, what you like, and then do some things and ask her if she likes it. Then ask what else can I do.
2007-08-06 09:58:44 · answer #4 · answered by Wolfithius 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be uptight and bad temperred. Or show bad mood.
Throw things, just make awfull things which has no sense.
That's what happened "inside" her feelings anyway.
2007-08-06 10:44:43 · answer #5 · answered by bill s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it take time,
be open to her,
tell her you like,
eg, BJ and get her to perform on you
than you do the oral on her,
let her try it out a few times
when lust got over every other thing
she will start to talk
2007-08-07 09:26:48 · answer #6 · answered by transformer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋