2007-08-06 02:49:20 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Speak directly to him about it without making it a personal or emotional issue. In other words, don't say he doesn't support you - that will open up another argument, don't say he doesn't pay attention - that may alienate him. Just say, honey I could use some help around the house. I get very tired, can you please take out the trash, pick up after dinner and fold the clothes from the dryer? Thanks. Then the next day remind him again - if he engages in dialogue, you can negotiate what he would rather do for housework.
My hubby hates cleaning up after dinner, but doesn't mind dishes. When I first asked him, he said he doesn't care for it and he didn't do it. The next time we spoke about it, I just laughed and said - I wish I had the luxury of not doing what I didn't like doing b/c I hate doing dishes. You know your husband best - think about how he responds best when you want to sell him on an idea and then use that approach to get his help.
2007-08-06 02:57:59 · answer #1 · answered by Maya's Angel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men normally tend to shy away from house-hold work but with a bit of wisdom you can obtain considerable assistance from him.
For a start I suggest you ask him to help you draw a detailed list of all the daily domestic chores. Tell him of late you have been feeling very tired at the end of the day, yet when you look back you are not able to pin down what you have been doing. If he agrees to that and you manage to have the list, you will then choose an appropriate time to discuss it with him with a view of requesting him to choose a few to take charge of.
That way am sure he will realise how much there is to be done and probably offer to relieve you with a few even before you ask.
Wish you all the best.
2007-08-06 03:40:47 · answer #2 · answered by Kaka M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question when you find out let me know! We fight about this all the time. In fact his comment to me the other day was. Don't you think as a wife and mother this should be your job?Why can't you get up an hour earlier and clean the house before you go to work?? We both work full time, I might add. And have 4 kids over 7yrs old. So I said fine but then when you get home why can't you clean for an hour. Because that is not my job!!! AAAARRRRGGGGG. So let me know if you get a good answer I will try it!! Good Luck.
2007-08-06 02:59:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I read some of the answers before me and I have tried them all and to no avail. My husband thinks that just because he works out of the home all week, that he shouldn't have to help me on the weekends. I am a stay at home mom of 3 and I also do all of the yardwork while taking care of the kids. I haev yelled, taken sex and other favors away, quit cooking for him, and nothing works. When you find something that actually does work, email me so that we both can know.
2007-08-06 03:04:33 · answer #4 · answered by orphan annie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with what someone else answered here: if he didn't do it before marriage, likely not going to happen after. I'm speaking from personal experience. Trying to get my husband to do anything around the house is like pulling teeth.
It does depend on the man, but yes, I'd try just asking first. If he sees the marriage as an equal arrangement, hopefully he'll chip in.
2007-08-06 03:00:10 · answer #5 · answered by starwars79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both work and the housework is falling behind bc you do not have time to do it all, then he should help as well. You will be just as tired when returning home from work as he will be. The work should be shared 50/50 when both partners are working. Tell him these things. Tell him that it is making it harder on you having to do everything around the house and working also. Or hire a maid and make him pay for it.
2007-08-06 02:55:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Remind him that a marriage should be based on BOTH people doing what ever they can to make their partner happy. That could be anything from spending time with them to helping out around the house. If you are only asking every now and then, he should not be throwing too much of a fit.
2007-08-06 16:21:03 · answer #7 · answered by Rav 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Miss Grace, I am very sorry this is too commen of a problem.I personaly always did more than my share cause I don"t like to see women work ! House duties is work. Doesn"t your husband understand that work is what men do ? Wether at home or not ! Hon I will pray that the lord gives him this understanding.
2007-08-06 08:14:16 · answer #8 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you work and he is not pulling his weight, slack off and say "Honey, I can only do this much and I really need you to pick up the slack."
As long as you keep doing it, he has no motivation to change.
Advice: stop doing things HE wants done, otherwise, he'll just leave it undone.
2007-08-06 02:57:52 · answer #9 · answered by Random_Girl 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you both work then he should be helping out. If he is the only worker then it is a hard sale. Sorry. If he complains when something isn't getting done then tell him to do it himself you are not his mother. You don't have to do everything yourself.
2007-08-06 02:54:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋