We have been married four years, we moved to the USA after losing everything in a Hurricane. I am from the USA and he is from a caribbean island. He is not well educated and has not made any attempts ( i have tried) to educate himself further. This leave me with 95% of the the daily responsibilites. I am tired of doing everything and having to make all major decision without assistance. When I ask him for help with something he says that i am too bossy and to much like his mother... I am afraid he has lost his sence of manhood. I have become extreemly stressed and it is causing health problems things are getting worse. We bought a home a couple of years ago, and I too have turned into a plumber, carpenter, etc while he takes the time to washing his vechile./... My god can you help me fix this plugged pipe... Stop telling me what to do ( his typical replay. I am seaking legal help and I want out of this endless torment...... do anyone have any advice
2007-08-06 02:41:14 · 8 answers · asked by Sunshine 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He didn't become this over night. You allowed your infatuation to get the better of you and made a bad choice. He is not going to change and has told you this by hitting you below the belt every time you have an expectation of him. You married a boy toy not a man. Now I have to ask why do you want to save this one sided relationship. In a good relationship both people are giver's and taker's with neither being over indulgent. The person is your strength when you falter and vice versa. I don't see this in this relationship.
2007-08-06 02:51:48 · answer #1 · answered by starwars702 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe his attitudes worked for you at first because he is so laid back and now reality has set it in when you are trying to make a real life. If there are kids involved, I would sit down and tell him that you both need to look at the long-term future and that the current situation will lead to disaster (it is unsaid that having a man like this around kid is likely to lead to kids who have problems). Tell him what has to change (getting some classes or training for better line of work that he would enjoy?). Give him a couple of months and look for movement.
Then you can leave, even with kids.
2007-08-06 02:50:01 · answer #2 · answered by Wolfithius 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends what state you live in. You have to call up the courthouse nearest to you and ask for the department that handles divorce and go from their but usually you just have to go in get the papers sign them make copies and file one. or you can go to a legal aid service and they might be able to handle the whole thing for you for free. I don't usually advise in the divorce thing but you have tried and tried and talked and it sounds like he is to stubborn and lazy to change. Have you tried marraige counseling as well. Sometimes it takes a third party that is not associated with either of you to help the situation. Make sure it is a man so he doesn't feel bombarded by women telling him what to do if it is a man saying hey you have to get up and be a man he might wake up. Also try and pray.
2007-08-06 02:52:16 · answer #3 · answered by youcandoit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why on earth did you marry him in the first place?? well ok the damage is done move on chick you deserve better. Life aint a dress rehersal you only get one shot at it, so if you aint happy, get out now. You are stronger than you think. So hands up and admit it was not one of your best decisions in life, but at the same time dont regret the things you have done only the things you aint. Learn from it and dont make the same mistake twice. Good Luck xxx
2007-08-06 02:51:29 · answer #4 · answered by juliewylie29 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF he is telling you you are like his mother... can't be good. I bet he married you for citizenship status???? Now he's here he figures he has it made.
Clearly not one to take responsibility, it seems your mind is made up.
GO see a lawyer and find out what you can do so that he doesn't take you for half of everything as well.
2007-08-06 02:48:56 · answer #5 · answered by teritaur 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you marry a loser, you marry a loser. Ether accept it or leave or join him. You wont change him. You will only nag him. He can only change himself. And that is IF he tries.
2007-08-06 02:49:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are married by God's word, you can divorce him all you want in the after life he'll still be there waiting for you.... still married and lazy.
2007-08-06 02:48:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
all i can see is you need some spelling lessons, but you seem ok to me.
2007-08-06 02:45:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋