What Would You Do About This Drama Queen?

Question

Okay, so for the last year or so there's been a group of us 12 friends (ages between 21 - 36) who get together at our local bar and hang out and have a blast together. About 3 months ago, this girl got herself included into our group because one of the guys felt sorry for her sitting all by herself all the time.

Since then our group hasn't been the same. Slowly over time our group has separated to the point where even when we're all at the same place we don't sit together.

But it was when all the girls in our group of 12 (8 girls and 4 guys) started comparing notes that we realized that this Drama Queen had been saying nasty stuff and making up stuff about each and every girl in our group. Now we have 8 angry frustrated chicks and a girl who sits with 2 of the four boys from our group by themselves. What should we do about it?

None of us want to lose the two guys to her darkside. I need serious suggestions! Thanks

Answer 1

There really isnt anything you can do at this point but start trying to create get togethers without her.

If your friends have started to trust her, then she already got to them. There really is nothing you can do to reverse the damage.

It may be a long process, but if you start recruiting 5 or 6 of the group to go to a different bar alone, you can recreate a bond and even talk about her damage to solidify your friendship again... next time, bring out 3 or 4 of them, have a different friend there each time until you can all be on the same page.

Chances are, after all is said and done and months of repairing friendships, the group will still be reduced. I predict one or two friends will still stick by her at the end... so good luck with the rest.

Answer 2

Well chickie, it wasn't just the one guy who brought her into the group. I was part of it too. So, you can't blame her inclusion on only one person.

You know, I do feel sympathy for her. She seems socially stunted and she hasn't matured emotionally. I know her past wasn't an easy one. And I know that's still no excuse. But I guess I understand her a little. (Sometimes having empathy really sucks, you know?)

I'm not sure exactly how to address this without her getting defensive. Yes, everything needs to come out into the open and she needs to know that talking about people behind their backs is not ok. But I've been thinking about this. If we all "have a little chat" with her, she might feel backed into a corner and immediately resist what we have to say, just as if we came at her in an angry *****-slapping tone from the start.

Do you think that maybe one of us might want to talk to her alone first? Or maybe act as a mediator? I seem to be the one she has little problem with as the only negative thing I've heard her say about me was to my face. I'm wondering if I might be able to get in a little.

I don't know. Maybe I'm being too optimistic. I like to see the good in all people. I honestly don't know if she's intentionally being malicious or if she subconsiously does this to get attention from the opposite sex (as that's where a lot of her problems from her past stem from).

Answer 3

Ignor her show here that isnt the way to get attention