My friend asked me out in March. I said no because I didn't want our friendship to get screwed. Then he asked this other girl out and she said no for the same reason. I know he's really hurting now. I called him yesterday and he said hello normally. Then he voice sounded very soft and sad when he found out that it was me calling. I said Joe, listen I know that you used to like me, and I'm sorry if I've hurt you in anyway. And he was just like Annie, why are you doing this to me? Then there was silence. I don't know if he likes this other girl, or if he likes me. All I know is he sounds depressed. He told me to stay out of it and that he would deal with it on his own. I want to help! I don't like seeing him like this! What can I do? I don't even know which girl he likes! What should I do? I feel horrible. This girl and I are trying to talk to him, but he's blowing us both off.
2007-08-06 02:05:05 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Don't go there to explain your side of things.
He's totally not interested.
Fact of life: Men fall in love with their female friends. Women do not fall in love in the same way.
If you see him and you're all understanding, sweet, friendly and caring: then he, as a man, will interpret your kindness as love and he will be unable to shed his feelings for you.
I know it sounds stupid because you don't feel that way at all and you know that he shouldn't mistake your friendship for love.
This is a fundamental difference between men and women.
If you want to help your friend, tell him to read www.laddertheory.com - sorry for the bit of girlbashing at the start, but the bit about the 2 ladders is spot on.
2007-08-06 02:59:59 · answer #1 · answered by mgerben 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if i was u id make a deal with him..... call him and say sumthin along the line of
ur sick of seein him like this, u wanna help, u care about him, and if he's gonna do it on his own to hurry up (im kinda a friendly mannor... or funni-ish) maybe
tell him that ur happy to be friends and u understand that he wants to do this, but tell him that it sucks to see him like he is and that u are always there if he needs ya
usually this works for me to an extent where they go back to acting somewhat normal... OR they let me help and its done.... OR they get it done themselves quickly, but not jsut for u =]
2007-08-06 09:59:27 · answer #2 · answered by Kyle J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him time and space. He's right, he is hurting because he feels rejected, but only he can work it out. Just be there for him when he needs his friends, check on him every now and then, but let him work it out on his own. He needs to deal with what he wants but can't have, and it's a life lesson we all need to learn. I'm sure he appreciates your caring, though.
2007-08-06 09:15:10 · answer #3 · answered by Lady G 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
my advice is go to him and tell him exactley how YOU feel. You're hurting because he's hurting, and you need to let him know that. THe most important thing, however, is to let him know why you said no to him, because he night think you just plainly don't like him.
2007-08-06 09:15:34 · answer #4 · answered by Lana 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hon we can only help those who are willing to accept it !
2007-08-06 15:23:04 · answer #5 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋