Is my husband cheating on me?

Question

He started going out almost every weekend about a month and a half ago. He also has a friend (female) with whom he's known since they work in the same building (the friendship just seems to have blossomed within the last two months but there was nothing before that). He constantly texts her and when she would call he would go to the bathroom, go outside or go run an errand (until I confronted him). I found a set of condoms in his pocket one night about a week ago--he told me they were a friend's. Yesterday I went shopping and I saw two condoms and key cards to the local Holiday Inn--he told me he doesn't know how it got into his car, that maybe a friend left it in there. Recently, he's been keeping his car clean when he never does--I always have to clean it. He told me that he has not cheated on me since the last time (he cheated on me while we were both deployed in Iraq). Not only that but this friend has issues with her husband and he paid 701.00 for tickets to a game in PA.

The game is in PA and we live in TN currently. He 's also told me that he talks to her because he knows what to say to make a woman feel good about herself but I guess he's forgotten that I am a woman too. I told him that she needs to work out her problems with her own husband and that she should have friends that she could talk to besides him and that I'm sure she did have friends before the two of them became friends. I want to believe that he's not cheating but the suspicion is definitely there. I'm also 6 months pregnant and I have no idea what to do anymore.

Answer 1

It sounds like he is...to find out for sure hire a private investigator...proof with pictures and video.

Answer 2

Of course he is! The signs are all there, I won't beat about the bush and say maybe he isn't, because it's glaringly obvious.
He had an affair before, and you took him back and he's obviously thinking he can do it again!
I'm not saying no couple can work through an affair, because it can happen.
I don't know if you are driving him away by being possessive, but maybe you should take the moral high ground and leave him. Do you want someone who cheats on you? If you do, then he will keep treating you like a doormat.
If he wants to make it work, he will come running after you when you leave, and you can work things out with some counselling. If he isn't willing to make it work, then he's not worth it, and you should leave him to do the same thing to whoever he shacks up with next! These women are going to be very similar to you, but without the responsibility, so don't think he won't treat them the same!

Answer 3

I feel bad for you!! That's the last thing I would want to be worried about being 6 months pregnant. If you don't use condoms with your husband there should be absolutely no reason why he should have them!!! I think he is cheating on you. You mentioned that he cheated on you before, that is not a good sign. I not saying that I believe the " once a cheater always a cheater " mentality, but In this case everything you explained clearly spells out deception to me. If he refuses to cut ties with this woman there's your answer. My deepest sympathies!!!

Answer 4

You do know that your husband is having an affair, right? He has left all types of visual evidence for you to find but as always with us so in love women, we want to believe that our man is being truthful to us but in reality, he's cheating...

Why would your husband have condoms and a hotel key? And then he played as if he didn't know how they got there. He wanted you to find it...Stop playing his game. You are pregnant and the focus should be on the happiness and health of this child. the last thing that you need to worry about is a cheating husband.

Honey, do yourself a favor and step away from your husband for a little while. Clear your head and stop all this stressing during pregnancy. If your husband wants to cheat, let him do it but not in your face. Go stay with relatives that will support you during this time in your life or have his bags packed so you can get your rest, peace and a little relaxation when the baby arrives

Answer 5

Agree, he is cheating. And lying about it, hoping you are too naive to think differently. You are married to him, and carrying his child - and this is how he acts? He is texting another married woman and going out weekends, condoms, Holiday Inn - Goodness, the evidence is overwhelming!!!! Sweetie, you need to tell him up front that you do not believe his lies anymore, you know he is cheating and you need to give him an ultimatum. He is either with you - and YOU ALONE, or he packs his stuff and gets out if he wants to continue seeing this other married woman. And that means no texting this woman ever again. Don't back down to his lies and excuses. You know he cheated once before, he is cheating again. You should have his total loyalty in your marriage. Only you can can make a stand for it to end, one way or the other. Because if you keep going along with it, he will continue to cheat because he is getting away with it. With a wife and baby on the way - his behavior is absolutely shameful and a disgrace.

Answer 6

Oh my god! You just gave me a case of dejavu my husband did almost all the things you described. He would get calls from this female lie to me about the relationship say things like she is 100lbs overweight and I don't like fat chicks, or her boyfriend was abusing her and I am just trying to support her. The kicker was when I got sick of it I waited till he fell asleep one night and took his cell checked all the numbers and found a text from this girl where he had bought this BIT-H a bracelet and she was thanking him. I barged into our bedroom flipped the lights on and confronted him. He told a bunch of lies at first, but I threatened to call this girl at 3 in the morning to get the truth. In the end this b and I had a long talk. she said she didn't know he was married the whole bit. Does it sound like your husband has been lying and cheating HELL YES THE CONDOMS SHOULD HAVE TIPPED YOU OFF. No guy carried condoms with the thought he wont get to use them. Get her number call her and confront that *****. Make sure you have a place that is safe to stay at if you have to leave.

Answer 7

I am so, so sorry. Having gone through it myself, I honestly believe he is cheating. There are just too many red flags. Even IF he is not cheating, he should be spending all that money and attention on YOU, not her. You have a right to demand that as his wife. as YOUR husband, he doesn't have the right to be spending so much (whether it's time OR money) on another woman, period. He's totally out of line, either way, and you have to right to demand that he stop. If he won't stop, you must leave him, unless that is the kind of marriage(!) you want, which is no marriage at all. As long as you let him get away with it, he WILL. Sorry, I know you are vulnerable right now with the pregnancy, but if I can make it on my own with an infant and a toddler, you can do it too.

Answer 8

Don't you have a headache from all the bells that are going off? DING-DING-DING!! Finding the condoms-BELLS!! Everytime a wife finds something strange, it's always the husbands friend's. Why would your husband's friend give him condoms? If it don't make sense, DING, there usually is something going on! Why would a he have a key card to a hotel? DING!!! It just didn't fly in the window of his car!! He's playing you out to be the fool cause you're believing his every explaination to these oddities. DING-DING!! He's cheating!!! Don't take it anymore. GET PROOF and throw it back in his face and then WALK AWAY! You don't deserve to be treated this way!! Be true to yourself and pay attention to the BELLS!!!

Answer 9

Well, it would seem so but really, I hope you know no one here can give you a yes or a no.
Only validate for you that your suspicions do seem to be fact based and the situation clearly warrants your attention.

Also, you say he's admitted to cheating in the past. Did he admit it immediately? Or did he hedge on his admission? Was there counseling after wards? Did you both make conscious changes in your relationship?
You need to consider these things when you think about how to approach this, as they can give you some insight into what is happening.
It is lovely to think a person can change, but people who stray from marital commitments more than likely have deeper issues causing them to do such. As such, it is most likely that it happens again unless the underlying issues are addressed.

I can't imagine my husband going on a 'pleasure' (game) trip without me- I think that's an agreed upon no-no. We both travel independently- he for business and myself to see family (taking our kids out of the country) but when it comes to 'pleasure vacation time', it's always together. Especially in a situation like yours, with a history of infidelity, him traveling alone would probably be a bad idea for quite some time, years really, as that is how long it takes to re-establish broken trust.


In short- any drastic change in behavior needs your attention. Be prepared to fight for your marriage if you want it, and get out if you don't. But think about your answers to that BEFORE you confront him.

Answer 10

See a divorce attorney and get into marriage counseling. The man you married can lie pretty well. It sounds like he is cheating and he has no incentive to tell the truth. It's terrible timing that he's doing this while you are pregnant too!
When you see the divorce attorney, at least you will know you have other options. Divorce is an option and you want to know about it if it turns out that all he wants to do is continue to lie. See the marriage counselor together. Be very quiet and let HER tell him he's full of crap when you state the facts. He'll have to get his act together.

Answer 11

Are you stupid or something? How much more do you need to be convinced? He might as well have brought her in the house and said "Hi, Honey! This is my friend of whom I will be F ucking, hope you don't mind!" Of course he is CHEATING!! You have all the proof you need. I would kill my husband if he spent all that time with any woman like that, besides his mother or sister, cheating or not! But yours is definitely cheating....again!!