Hi, I have a dear friend of mine, whom i love heaps. She's dating a guy at the moment who I don't like. Don't ask why, I just get a weird vibe from him. Anyway, we were all hanging out at a mutual friend's house on sunday, and while everybody was there, he and a friend started telling jokes about the KKK, using the N word. As a coloured person, I was really offended, and I think he noticed, because he turned around and started apologising. It was so awkward, because nobody said anything for a while. Frankly, I've never felt so disgusted before, but what annoyed me most is that my friend didn't say anything at all, she ignored it like everyone else. I just don't know what to do- I fell annoyed at my friend and her boyfriend, but I don't know how I'm supposed to act. Help?
2007-08-06 00:21:07 · 17 answers · asked by jemm4president 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You should feel annoyed - you've been her friend longer than that loser has been her boyfriend.
I'd keep my distance for a little while. Even though he apologised, the idiot had eyes in his head. He shouldn't have gone there and when he did, your friend should have dragged his sorry butt back.
2007-08-06 00:26:25 · answer #1 · answered by Keztacular 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He should have known better. Not just because you were in the room, but because its just wrong. Why didn't your friend speak up? Granted she is not a racist, but silence can be just has hurtful, as it was in this situation. I would say something to her, because she is your friend and needs to know how you feel. She may have not said anything because she didn't know what to say. Or she was embarrassed that she even brought him. Give her some comebacks that she can throw in when he starts his crap, if she is still with him after that. Make sure you let her know that it is NOT ok with you for her to just sit there and let this happen. She is supposed to be your friend, and that means standing up for you when needed. YOU also need to say something, right then and there, so that everyone sees what a jackass he is, including your friend (in case she is in denial).
2007-08-06 07:31:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have the God given rights to feel how you've felt! A friend is someone that respects who you are as a person and for sure, your so called 'friend' is not a friend after all! You can do better. You know what to do.
2007-08-06 08:17:46 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Pröƒé§§ôr♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may have to give up spending as much time with her. I would tell my friend that while I love her and want her to be happy in life that I don't feel comfortable around her new bf. Tell her why and your disappointment in the situation and her if that be the case. That you don't want to hurt her feelings and understand that this is her relationship but that you'd prefer when hanging out that it be w/o his presence. That you understand that this request is going to cause her inconvenience and you won't see her as much but, that you'd rather continue your friendship in this way. You'll still have to listen to her talk about him but you won't have to see or listen to him. She's the only one who can make up her mind about whether this man is someone she wants to spend her time with. More than likely he'll pass through sooner or later. Just wait it out. good luck
2007-08-06 07:32:17 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would be deeply insulted and offended that no one took your side or told this neaderthol pig to shut up, dont hang out with your friend till she dumps him and tell her the truth why because she obviously needs a reality check
2007-08-07 17:58:41 · answer #5 · answered by Treat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You SHOULD have been offended, and your friend AND boyfriend should have apologized. Give a copy of the above to your friend and leave the next move to her.
.
2007-08-06 07:27:15 · answer #6 · answered by Maewest 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her and her boyfriend that you did not like him saying racist things. Cause it hurt your feelings and it really rude of him to do. Tell her she should of told him to stop making those racist remarks. If they do not like it then they are not friend's at all.
2007-08-06 07:30:05 · answer #7 · answered by nikki_lav_2288 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At times,everyone of us hv been a racist before.So tell yr friend off
2007-08-06 07:28:28 · answer #8 · answered by chasen54 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Colored? WTF? No matter what color you are you shouldn't stand for your "friends" or boyfriend to make racists jokes around you!! You simply don't associate with people that do things to offend you. There are too many other good people out there to waste time on stupid ones. Good Luck.
2007-08-06 07:28:13 · answer #9 · answered by LawComm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ignoring it is perhaps the best response.You don't want to do anything to encourage him, that will only make it worse. Maybe you can talk to your frined about it; she might have some influence about it. Have her remind him it's not exactly the coolest way to act, and there are some people who just don't find it funny..
2007-08-06 07:33:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋