What would you do? (This is a true story. I'll follow w/what happend)?

Question

One morning, I'm heading to work by bus. Suddenly my tomach starts feeling uneasy. When I arrive at the station the only thing on my mind is to find the nearest toilet. My bowels are begging to be set free, but I don't know where the toilet is. 10 minutes pass and I find the toilet, but the janitor closed it for cleaning. I take a deep breath and decide to fight it out until I get to the office.10 minutes by foot. I'm in serious pain but I waddle about 100m. I'm ready to burst. I run in the nearest store, Nordstrom. Mind you it's 8:30 in the morning. There are only security guards there. They find me suspicious and tell me to take a hike. (OK, I'm running out of space...I'll make it short.) By the time I reach my office stairs I'm walking like penguin with my buns flexed together, to hold the dam from collapsing. I can't wait for the elevatior so I take the stairs. No one is in the stairwell...There's a fire alarm if front of me, I have a cell phone and a plastic bag. What would u do?

Answer 1

I feel a wealth of sympathy for you!

Answer 2

I would call a colleague to tell everyone that there is a fire, while urinating in the plastic bag and leaving it on the stairs then running for 'safety', although you are already quite safe since your dam is no longer going to collapse.

Answer 3

wow. you went through hell.
i would honestly just go inside the plastic bag. leave it on the stairs. continue walking like a penguin and go to the bathroom to finish and other business & clean myself up

Answer 4

Take some Pepto Bismal.

Answer 5

i would just do it in the plastic bag n then go clean up in the toilet

Answer 6

your life story is very much like a riddle

Answer 7

end up pmsl that im even in that situation...then my bowels would give way and id poo my pants aswell...lol.x.

Answer 8

Must have hurt lol.