My wife and I moved abroad 2 years ago, and we are a bit lonely away from home, in spite of our lovely daughter. A bit after we arrived, I met a woman, a good friend with whom all was clear, as I love my wife and daughter immensely. Once, unfortunately, we kissed, and everything spiralled. She fell in love with me, I felt horrible, tried to push her away repeatedly, but we ended up fooling around a few times. She is a decent and patient woman and believes it is our fate to be together. My wife found out 6 months ago and since then we have been trying to work things out. That could be it.... But 3 months ago, I found my wife's diary, which made it clear that she has been in love with someone since way before we moved here. I confronted her, she admitted. And now I am lost! I have since realized that I miss and most probably love this other woman. Something is broken in my couple. I am torn between my wows, the fear of lost happiness and the promise of something luminous. What to do?
2007-08-05 19:50:07 · 12 answers · asked by Abel Tiffauges 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm sorry to hear that you're in that situation. It seems as if you and your wife both have changed and outgrown each other. It's a hard situation when there is a child involved (trust me I know). Who knows, maybe you are meant to be with this other woman. I think fate plays a large part in people's lives.
My advice: Talk to your wife and work out some kind of plan. You could go to counseling, divorce, or live together (separately) for the sake of your child. Oh, and don't worry about what others think or say about your situation. It's your life and your marriage. Do what is best for you and your child.
I wish you the best of luck
2007-08-06 00:36:55 · answer #1 · answered by chica_liss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you hadn't found your wife's diary, what would be happening right now in your relationship with your wife? You'd be working on making it better. She may have loved someone before and for a long time; that doesn't mean that she acted on that love or would act on it.
You did, though. You fooled around with someone without it being the great love of your life. The only time this woman took center stage in your life was when you read your wife's diary. Now, all of a sudden, she's your priority.
A diary is a place to say private things. In fact, you could exaggerate or even lie in private in a diary. You could be any kind of person you want in your diary but because it is private, that shouldn't affect your real life.
So, why not appreciate that? You need to discuss a lot with your wife and work on your marriage. The other woman is someone who is off limits.
2007-08-10 18:28:09 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a mess, cheating is never right, if you are not happy in your marriage, face that fact and move on. staying in an unhappy marriage will only hurt the child even more than leaving. bet you weren't thinking about your child when you "fooled" around with the other woman and shame on her for messing with a married man.
2007-08-11 14:25:57 · answer #3 · answered by Dee M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is for u both to decide if you both want to continue in this marriage then you both should cut your relation with the others , and that will be better for the child's sake. but then you both must forget all about before and start a new page . if not u can divorced and both will get married to whom u desire
2007-08-11 09:22:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a friggin' mess! Seek marriage counseling if you both want to work at the marriage. If not, get divorced. I feel for your daughter.
2007-08-05 19:59:21 · answer #5 · answered by gma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you and your wife move on with the people you are both in love with...what's the problem?
2007-08-11 08:15:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has love you have love the best thing is divorce and seek it then you both will have peace. its to hard to fix sometimes and the amount of guilty stuff would be too much.
2007-08-09 16:32:40 · answer #7 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling. Seems as if you both made mistakes. If you still love each other - - - counseling.
Good luck
2007-08-12 09:16:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gotta love wows...lol
2007-08-05 20:03:30 · answer #9 · answered by gloria b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sadly the best thing may be to seperate. It happens. But don't let your child suffer for what has happened.
2007-08-05 19:54:44 · answer #10 · answered by Aztec_Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋