Or maybe how should I tell her? Her and her fiance don't make a lot of money. In fact she is the ONLY one working and has two jobs. She is paying for the wedding by herself whilst he contributes nothing and smokes pot all day long. He doesn't work and has no plans to ever get a real job. They've had fights about his habits that have made her want to end things but then she talks herself into sticking with it becuase she loves him. It makes me uneasy though because I think it's a mistake. I don't want her to regret marrying him years later when they are still broke, still living at his mom's house, and part of HER hardearned paycheck is still paying his drug habits. Should I voice my concerns? And if so how can I do it without losing a best friend? I just don't know how I'm supposed to stand as her maid of honor at the wedding and watch as she makes vows to someone that I think will only hurt her in the end.
2007-08-05 18:17:13 · 6 answers · asked by jinxmalfoy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was in a similar situation as your friend once, and I can say from that point of view, that looking back I wish someone had stopped me, or at least had a very serious talk with me. Your friend may be feeling like she has to finish something she started. Maybe she is like I was and feels that turning back now would be too embarrassing. Maybe all she needs to hear is that life won't end if she turns her back on this relationship. She's probably a lot more terrified than she's letting on.
2007-08-05 18:36:01 · answer #1 · answered by Kels 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can decide what to do.
You can mind your own business and be her maid of honor and pick up the pieces in 6 to 12 months time or you can speak to her and run the risk of losing her friendship forever.
If it was me, I'd take her out for coffee or lunch and tell her you want to have a serious discussion with her. Start by telling her you love her and are afraid she is making a big mistake. If she won't change her mind, be her maid of honor, and just be there when she needs you..
2007-08-07 02:43:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard choice but I wish someone had had the guts to take a stand when my daughter got married. I found out after the fact that no one approved of her marrying this guy. After a 2yr engagement and a wonderful wedding(that I paid for), 6 weeks after they bought a house, he left her for another woman. My daughter is working two jobs while trying to go to grad school, and keep her house. He also stole her inheritance and she's still having to pay his health care until the divorce is final. One of the things he wants is her dog, which he has never care for, or paid for. He just wants it because he knows it will hurt her, and of course its all her fault the marriage didn't work out. She's #4 btw, something we didn't find out until after the fact.
Tell your friend exactly what you think, ask her to not marry him but if she insists, then excuse yourself from being maid of honor and tell her that you would be glad to stand up for her when she gets married to someone who respects her. This loser doesn't.
2007-08-06 01:32:37 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have stood up and told two of my friends not to get married and they did anyway and they are both divorced. Now years down the road I get the comments, "You told me not to marry him". She may get mad at you but tell her and I don't think I could stand as the maid of honor.
2007-08-06 01:33:55 · answer #4 · answered by CaseyK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you love your friend but life is about experiences and the sad part is learning from mistakes.Your friend will only resent you for your negative concerns. Just stand by her and support her... hopefully you will be around when she needs you if/when the marriage falls apart
2007-08-06 01:22:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I couldn't stand as her maid of honor if the guy was a loser. Be honest as to why you're backing out.
2007-08-06 01:22:14 · answer #6 · answered by For Da Be Dan- Liza p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋