my boyfriend and I r from different cultures....im asian so we still have arranged marriages but hes an american..been together 6months...i was very worried ths week about my parents tryin to arrange my marriage with this man and he asked me a few times if something was wrong...finally yesterday i told him about it and honestly i was expecting a reaction from him but all i got was 'i dont know what to say cuz i dont know how arranged marriages work'...i thought that by tellin him this i could get an idea if hes really serious about us (he said i love u 2 weeks ago)...but i got nothing...finally i bluntly asked him where 'we' were and he said hes already said that he loves me and hes willing to meet my parents....is there something wrong with this situation...how would a guy react to this!!!!
2007-08-05 18:05:38 · 6 answers · asked by kera 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know what you mean about the arrange marriage deal. If your not ready you need to get gangsta and put your foot down. Look at it this way, YOU gotta be with this dude not your parents. You guys might not work out, take your time with it.
2007-08-05 18:16:00 · answer #1 · answered by se7enshooter 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's nothing wrong with this situation. marriage is something scary in general. he's losing his freedom as so are you. he's feeling pressured to satisfy a lot of people at the the same time. his parents, your parents, and you. he's obviously not ready for marriage but is trying really hard to be. it looks like he's trying to build a future with you because he hasn't rebelled with the marriage, however, you can't make people fall in love overnight. so although he said he loves you, you shouldn't think so much of it, for the marriage is arranged after all. i think you should try to spend more time with him, w/out having the thoughts of this being arranged. guys, although sheltered when it comes to expressing emotion, want to feel they are in control and free to do as they please, but since this is arranged, you'll have to take charge and really put the effort to get to know him as a person. find things in common, build a connection..so then he feels comfortable and you as well about getting married. go out more, talk more, enjoy getting to know each other...let things run freely. and maybe forget about the marriage for a while, meanwhile you get to know each other more. when the time is right..he'll bring up the topic and tell your parents to please back off on the idea of marriage for now, it's already planned, so what more do they want? you just want to get to know him more to feel comfortable with him.
2007-08-05 18:42:21 · answer #2 · answered by JD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he felt it was a dear john,and that you were putting him in the picture of the stage youre at with your family.Not being from that culture he wouldnt be able to talk too much about it,he could be feeling its out of his hands and doing the good guy thing in being quiet,he doesnt know wether youre honour bound to follow family wishes so like you he probably doesnt know where he stands.Have you told him you love him and have you told him youre intentions in what comes next,he could be thinking all kinds hun like staying with him will cost you your family you both need to talk in depth xxx
2007-08-05 18:20:00 · answer #3 · answered by nendlin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He would react in the same way
he loves you and wants a commitment
2007-08-09 07:01:22 · answer #4 · answered by ~*tigger*~ ** 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it does not sound too good from him. i mean he'd be on it with a fly if he thought the would lose ou and it doesn't seem like it huh? well i would take a deep breath and not jump with him its not solid i fear.
2007-08-09 16:23:05 · answer #5 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No problem!! If I love my future wife it could be an african wedding and no problem to me, because I love her.
2007-08-05 19:35:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋