for some reason a lot of my friends (throughout my life) have asked me if i was lesbian (not that i have any problem with people who are). it's always really awkward and i say no. but how should i reply? and why does everyone always ask?
i don't really know what i am. i mean, i'm only 14, and i've gone to an all girls school so i'm always really awkward around guys and have trouble even having conversations with them. so i've never even flirted with a guy. and idk.
what do i do?
2007-08-05 17:41:42 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
You need to figure out what you are first!!!
Good luck
2007-08-05 17:46:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are fourteen years old. Be fourteen years old. If that means following boys (or girls) around, then do that. If it's watching a TV show or listening to music, do that. You have your whole life to figure it out. Don't rush it. It's the type of thing that will become really obvious to you at one point if you allow it to and don't suppress/ignore any feelings you may or may not have. Just because you haven't flirted with a guy, doesn't automatically make you gay. LIke you said, you go to an all girls school. You may not have had the opportunity to develop those skills and you will sooner or later.
As for everyone else, I would brush it off. Depending on how they approach you about it. If it's a heartfelt, between friends thing, you can talk about it more openly. If it's someone saying it as a jerk, ignore them. Don't be rattled by them, they aren't worth it.
2007-08-06 00:50:41 · answer #2 · answered by plant a tree 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the good news is that you don't have to decide anything right now. In fact, you never have to decide. Just go with your instincts. Don't force it one way or the other.
You are the only person that can know the real you. Just give yourself some time to figure out who that person is.
As far as why people ask if you're a Lesbian... perhaps they are honing in on some stereotypes that you may have and they're just assuming something. I think people also ask because they themselves are trying to figure out who they are and it's much easier to think about who someone is than to work on yourself. Don't worry about it. They are just as in the dark about themselves as you are. :)
Good luck you to you. I'm sure you'll figure it out but remember that the journey is really just as important as the destination. Probably even more so.
2007-08-06 00:49:34 · answer #3 · answered by ad 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went to an all boys high school so it took me longer to be comfortable around girls than boys who went to co-ed school. You don't have to figure out if you are a lesbian or not. The fact that you feel awkward around boys proves that you are straight.
I assume that you are a virgin. Good for you. Don't hurry to rush into sex. It is normal for you to be unsure of yourself at your age.
The words homosexual and lesbian confuse the issue. The issue is whether a person has a same gender sexual attraction. How you act has nothing to do with it. It's whether you are sexually actracted to boys or not.
I was a virgin until I was 24 y/o because I was shy around girls. I just was ignorant. I wodered about myself but there was never any question about what gender I was sexually attracted to, it was girls.
People who are ignorant will try to tell you many things that are not true. Try not to worry too much about yourself. Worrying about yourself is natural because you are going through so many changes now. Your teen years are the years that you change from a child into an adult. It all happens in an amazingly short time, but you don't have to know it all by the time you are 18 y/o.
An important thing is to not get pregnant untill you are married. Many young people laugh at this but other than doing drugs and getting seriously injured, nothing else is so effective at ruining your life.
Take your time with boys and learn from girlfriends how to flirt, how to dance, and how to socialise with boys. Being yourself is important, not only for your own well being but that is very attractive to boys who are worth anything.
Remember that boys are people too and that they are insecure about all this boy- girl stuff also. A lot of things they do are to try and hide that,
Find a boy that that is a regular person and likes your personality as it is, not because you are putting on an act. If he tries to pressure to have sex, just tell him "no", and if he persists, drop him like a hot potato. There are other boys and that one was only interested in one thing anyway.
I wish someone would have told me these things when I was your age.
You sound like an intelligent and sweet girl. My best wishes for you in your life.
2007-08-06 03:33:43 · answer #4 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would reply with something a little sarcastic and a little serious like: "No, I'm not. Why? Am I missing something, lol?". If you make a bit of a joke about it when they ask you then it will help the situation to not feel so awkward. My questions is why do you get ask so often? Are you athletic? anti dating because boys suck? Do you ever talk about boys with your friends? Maybe it's just time to break out the girly stuff and show off your feminine side. Talk to them about your crushes if you have any. Whatever makes you feel comfortable, though. Sounds like your holding some party of yourself back from your friends.
2007-08-06 00:54:54 · answer #5 · answered by Jade 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stand your ground. Don't worry about what other people say. I think far too many 14-year-olds are TOO comfortable flirting with teenage guys & they wonder why you feel awkward and assume you must be gay.
You're 100% fine the way you are. Maybe the next time you are asked just ask what business it is of theirs. Or ask if they are gay. But don't worry about you.
Take care.
2007-08-06 00:46:53 · answer #6 · answered by January Love 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
one of my best friends is a lesbian so i get called one too sometimes. i have been asked if i was a lesbian so many times, they think me and my friend are gfs.. i just tell them no when they ask and ignore what ever else they say or do. i know that i am not a lesbian so i don't have to care if they call me one. im shy around guys but that doesn't mean i don't like them. unless you tell them that you like a guy but refuse to tell them the name (even if you don't like any one) i don't know what else you could do. next time they ask if your a lesbian just say "no, are you?" and then brush it off.
2007-08-06 00:51:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why people think that's any of their business! You're 14... you've hardly had time to figure out who you are or what you want in life. Ignore those idiots and know yourself on your own terms. Sometimes it may be painful, but in the end, it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks if you know who you are.
2007-08-06 00:47:52 · answer #8 · answered by bikerpjb 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are an adolescent and you are indeed in an awkward stage. you may be just not used to being around with guys, that's why you're having trouble hanging around with them. anyway, in time, you'll find your true sexual identity, and lesbian or not, as long as you are happy and at the same time not stepping on anyone, you don't owe anyone an explanation on who you are and how you want to turn out to be. good luck girl!
2007-08-06 00:49:12 · answer #9 · answered by icy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be yourself. Form yourself into the beautiful, guyluvvin girl your supposed to be. Adolescence is a time to discover yourself, and don't worry what other say, because it doesn't matter.
Don't be worried about being nervous about guys. It takes time and at age 14, I wouldn't be bothered quite yet.
2007-08-06 00:48:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
wel first of all, don't take it personally, i've been asked if i was a lesbian even though i'm 100% straight and so have tons of other girls. just igonre they ask that and try ot figure out what you really are.
2007-08-06 00:54:12 · answer #11 · answered by γσυ мєαи єህєяγтнìиɠ тσ sσмєσиє❤ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋