Your touch is silk, up and down my arm you move.
The heat pulsating from the tips of your fingures
radiating through my body as if caught by 120.
Why would you have what i have been searching for.
In todays world you are old school and I love you..
2007-08-05 14:38:11 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
fingers that is...lol
2007-08-05 14:39:45 · update #1
Hey I understand what you are talking about. I like your inturp. on the poem better than mine.
2007-08-06 11:24:10 · update #2
I know what a 120 is. Wooo Baby, leave it in. Kerry will understand.
It is electric currant, people.
2007-08-06 11:21:26 · answer #1 · answered by bsharpbflatbnatural 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a good start, but you need something more. You could try different line breaks as well, for example:
Your touch is silk
Up and down my arm
You move
Heat pulsating from
The tips of your fingers
Radiating
Through my body
As if caught by..."120"? what the heck is that?
Why would you have
What I have been
Searching for
You are old school
And I love you
As you can see, other than dropping a word or two, the poem above is 'your' poem, just made to look and sound different by changing the line breaks. the "120" leaves me cold...I have no idea what that was supposed to mean....work on it.
Otherwise, as you can see, it isn't too bad a poem.
keep writing
2007-08-05 15:15:59 · answer #2 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋