How do you deal with an abusive man?

Question

If your dad tells you to shut up and settle down if you talk to someone else, or whisper or talk to the dog in a polite way. Or if you step on a sticker and say Ow he says "knock it off!"(in other words shut up you stupid b****)

You're not hyper you're just minding your business and you get hurt and upset and feel like crying. How to deal with this??

You are now 22 and they controlled and manipulated you to the point of you not being able to get your drivers license, nor a job, nor a place to live except there. They're nicer to your brothers.

Suggestions?

They won't even let you get your driver's license.
You don't have a car.
You live in the middle of nowhere
You did have a place of your own but your roommate stalked and harassed you, and she let in a drug addict stranger without letting you know about it.
So moving out is not an option right now.

So how to deal with an abusive controlling person?


please be nice and no harassment.

Answer 1

Moving out IS an option if you want it bad enough. It sounds like you want to live with this and not even try.

Get some money... steal it if you have to at this point... catch a train or a bus and get the hell out of there. You're 22, start living you're own life.

I'm not trying to be mean but you are letting this person control you and all you think to do is complain or ask for advice here instead of taking the intiative to get your butt outta there. You deserve better.

Answer 2

Please, please, please take that other woman's advice and call a shelter- or an abused women's hotline. The numbers are in the front of every phome book in the country no matter where you are. You do not HAVE to deal with this- you are worth so much more and deserve so much more from your life. You are young and can make a fresh start, but you may need some counseling because you have dealt with this for a long time- it sounds like, since it's your dad- and it's probably pretty ingrained that you DON'T deserve better.... but you do! I know, leaving is the hardest thing you can do. But, I promise you that after you do, you will fell the greatest sense of relief and freedom, knowing that you are making your life your own. Please take that first big step and make that call and get out of that atmosphere. Good luck!

Answer 3

Like the Continental Commercial Ba bye, Ba bye, babye bye bye . Well some of us learn the hard way. You will have to contact your nearest social services . here are some numbers 1-800-799-7233 for abused women a 24 hour hot line number is 1-866-341-7009. And the email address for the manager is [e-mail]. This is for the abused adult resource center. Next time you will be able to spot the increments of control before it's this late. Best of luck to you and God bless.

Answer 4

Look on craigslist under rooms to rent or something simular. maybe you can find someone who will help you until you can get going with a job, etc. find something that looks reasonable to you, and talk to the person and let them know your situation. Maybe someone will work with you. Or make your own add on there explaining that you need someone to help you get a room until you get on your feet. there are a lot of good people, I'll bet someone has an empty room right now. (Just be cautious) Sometimes you can get a job staying with elderly people at their homes during the night, and even get paid for it.
And Sweetpea's idea to join the service might be a pretty good one. You dont need money, or even clothes for that.
Scary, maybe, but adventurous, and you get paid for it.
Maybe even the gaurd, or one of those like job corps, or the peace corps. Look under overseas volenteers. sometimes you can go to other countries and help kids there, etc.

Answer 5

Move, get out and never go back. Even if you have to be homeless temporarily it would be way better to be free than to be under his thumb. Moving out IS an option, if you don't like the situation you are in.
If you were truly fed up with this situation you would have already made up your mind to get out no matter what others would have to say. You are an adult, and can make your own decisions.

Answer 6

You need to call a battered women's shelter. When someone answers, explain the situation to that person and ask if you may come to the shelter. If they agree to bring you into the shelter, ask if they will cover cab fare. Many shelters will do this in order to keep women safe. Once you are in the shelter, they will help you learn to fill out job applications, get a job, learn to drive, etc. You are indeed being abused and you need to learn some living skills. If you go to shelter, try to bring your social security card, state ID and birth certificate with you. Having these documents will really help you start learning to live independently. Good luck, Honey.

Answer 7

consider all the others. Verbal abuse can convey approximately different varieties of abuse. consistent abuse by using one companion or the different reasons rigidity, rigidity, worry, mistrust, anger, and finally loathing. maximum suitable decision conceivable: Get out now. do no longer bypass pass do no longer assemble $2 hundred. no person has the staggering to abuse yet somebody else in any way, shape or type. And by using the comparable token no you could desire to could desire to stay in an environment the place they experience something much less that human, favored, enjoyed, necessary, wanted, respected and without worry.

Answer 8

I was in a similar situation. I got married to get out of it. BIG MISTAKE! I finally hitch hiked across the country and stayed gone 15 years before I tried to contact anyone in my family.
You will have to be strong and find a way to leave, Your dad will not change. Abusive parents almost always choose one child to abuse and the others are left alone. Go to a woman's shelter if you have to, but you need to get out.

Answer 9

Abusive people are literally mentally ill. It's too bad for them but not your problem leave That man NOW. If I could I would offer you a place to stay. Rely on friends and know you live in a country that forbids abusive behaviour.

Answer 10

Brat was right. You could call a local large church, or call turning point, if you have one in your area. You gotta get out of that abusive enviroment, hon. no gal deserves to be treated like that. My old man is a nasty evil guy. He would verbally and physically hurt me and my mum. it took me 18 years to get out. When i was about 14, he smacked mum in the car, right on her face very hard. I jumped him and told him if he ever hurt her again, "i swear to god i will kill you". To my knowledge he never did. I know where you are coming from, it aint pretty to be dogged. good luck, all my best