ok so i wrote a few days about my pregnant sister & her issue with her long distance boyfriend. well i guess things have gotten worse with them & they broke up. well i get a text today from her that says, "its sad to say that i think it would be best for me to get an abortion." i just cant understand this. i do know its not my problem or that i need to butt out. however i feel that if you r having unprotected sex & joking about the possiblity of getting pregnant, then you need to take responsibility for your actions. she's a little over two months and she was happy in the begining and planning to move in with him and she's asked her 4 year old son which he'd rather have, a brother or sister? shes even said that she did want to have another one before she turns 30. but its like now shes not with the guy, so whats the point to having this baby? &its not about being depressed. she wanted to end it with the guy. has anyone else been through these pregnancy feelings? i dont get it???
2007-08-05 14:15:30 · 22 answers · asked by bn123 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
She shouldn't get an abortion just because she is upset at her boyfriend. If she is going to have one, it needs to be because SHE wants one for herself (as selfish as that sounds...), not because she's angry at some guy. Guys come and go, children are forever. No woman should ever do anything that involves hurting her child for any man... even if he is the father of the baby.
2007-08-05 14:20:53 · answer #1 · answered by Ashley P 6 · 8⤊ 1⤋
All you ignorent people out there making mindless, stupid comments about how she shouldn't get an abortion, LISTEN:
you have NO RIGHT, I repeat, NO RIGHT to judge her. I'd like to see you saying the same thing if YOU were in such a difficult situation.
To the asker: How do you know they had unprotected sex??? Maybe they took necessary precautions. Were you hiding in their bedroom and watching them to make that claim?
Have you ever thought that while the guy has pretty much got scott free, it is the women who is going through pregnancy and everything that comes with it? Or do you think a woman does not have to right to decide what to do with her own body? You think it's just a baby producing machine or something?
If she wanted to end it with the guy, really, you have no idea why, and she may be justified in breaking up with him. Ever thought about the possibility that he hurt her or cheated? Apparently not.
"You need to take responsibility for your actions". Wow, that's rich. So she had sex with herself? Or don't you believe her ex-boyfriend has equal responsibility. Your ignorance disgusts me.
Does she have financial support? Can she adequately care for the baby? Very importantly, does she want it? Why bring a child into this world if you will not love it. She may just be overcome by anger and bitterness. SHE IS A HUMAN BEING WITH FEELINGS AND RIGHTS.
I feel sorry that she has such a narrow-minded sister, who cannot understand what she might be going through. The same goes out to all you people agreeing, who don't spare a thought for the woman in question.
One needs to carefully assess the issue. If she wants an abortion, let her have it. She is human being with human rights. You cannot treat her like a poor, oppressed creature being bred. She has the RIGHT to this decision. You people have no right to judge her, without hardly knowing the circumstances.
Richard M's comments were very thoughtful and sincere. I think he has taken a well rounded approach and considered several aspects.
2007-08-08 02:48:27 · answer #2 · answered by Golden Green Leaves 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have never been in that situation so that's why you don't get it. I have never been in that situation either but I know some people who have. It is hard to be a single parent. It is also hard to be pregnant because of all the hormones. A lot of pregnant women get extra sensitives during their pregnancy. I don't suggest for your sister to get an abortion. You are right, if you have sex you need to take the responsibility. Can your sister handle another baby, I mean financially? If she can't, that is really can't and not just don't want to, then maybe she can let a couple adopt the baby. There are a lot of couples out there who want to have a baby but can't. I think she needs to go to a counselor. Either that or make sure she talks to somebody about it.
2007-08-05 21:32:09 · answer #3 · answered by Caitlyn 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You should do some research yourself so that you can talk to her in an informed way. It sounds like she has some hesitation to abort her child at this point. Try to convince her to put her child up for adoption if nothing else.
Why don't you take her to your free local crisis pregnancy center? You can find a local center at http://www.nationallifecenter.org or by calling 1-800-848-5683. They deal with women in crisis pregnancies all the time. Whatever you do, don't take her to Planned Parenthood. Their solution for everyone is abortion--that's how Planned Parenthood was able to claim the title of the largest child-killing organization in the country.
Let your sister know that her child already has a heartbeat, brainwaves, fingers, toes, eyes, bones, intestines, etc. Warn her about the serious emotional and psychological issues that can result from abortion. Women often regret their abortions and suffer depression. For years after an abortion, some women are affected by the sight of children, at holidays, birthdays, etc. They wonder what their child would have looked like, what they would have been like, was it a boy or a girl that they aborted.
She should also be aware that abortion raises her chances of breast cancer, suicide, and substance abuse. Sometimes women have difficulty getting or staying pregnant after abortions. Abortions are violent acts, and they can damage reproductive organs. Organs can be punctured, torn, or scarred.
Abortion clinics are not generally well-regulated. They're pretty much allowed to do whatever they want. No one wants to interfere with "choice"--even if it's for women's health. Planned Parenthood fought recent health regulations put into place in Missouri. Why? They didn't want to spend the money. Planned Parenthood prevailed in Kansas where the legislature passed legislation which would have required all abortion clinics to meet veterinary clinic standards. The female governor vetoed the bill--so abortion clinics in Kansas don't have to meet veterinary clinic standards!
Edrica Goode, a young woman in California, died this year on Valentine's Day as a result of her abortion. She had an infection, and Planned Parenthood started an abortion on her anyway. Two weeks later the infection killed her--in large part because of Planned Parenthood's negligence. So if your sister insists upon an abortion, have her check out the safety of the local clinic as well as possible.
Let your sister know that there are over 2 million couples looking to adopt. She can choose who will raise her child if she wants, and she can even remain a part of her/his life if she wants. Many of these adoptive parents are even able and willing to help birth mothers financially if needed.
Make it clear that you love her and want what's best for her, and you will help in any way that you can if she decides to keep her child. But you should also let her know that you can't support or help her get an abortion because you believe it's wrong. At the end of the day, it's her decision. So don't let yourself feel guilty about her choice.
2007-08-07 13:51:11 · answer #4 · answered by Richard M 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Counsel here to: 1) give it up for adoption or 2) keep the baby & soak her ex-boyfriend financially until the baby is 18. Call your local department of health and human services will help you line up the legal guns to do this - she doesnt have to marry this goof - but she can make him pay ..
3) Abortion lets the goof / him off the hook, your sister gets off the hook temporarily - that is until she goes insane from the guilt/depression of killing her own flesh and blood - an innocent 3rd party - all because she wasnt careful. All babys bring love and joy - and if all babys were planned - there wouldnt be any ..
4) If she doesnt want the baby - there are tens of thousands who would adopt it ..the only difference between what she has in her womb & a newborn is time ..
2007-08-06 21:23:15 · answer #5 · answered by thefatguythatpaysthebills 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
She is asking you to convince her otherwise.It says it all in her statement *its sad to say that i think it would be best for me to get an abortion* that is her asking you to remind her its OK to feel lost but did you stop loving your sons bro or sis when you split up? Did she stop loving this baby? I think not.Usually when a woman decides to have a baby ...they are Committed ! Maybe this is her way of asking if you will be there. I would support her in anything but I would seriously discuss with her how abortion would make her feel.It is never an easy option.Be a good sister and let her know how much you care.She is lucky to have you caring about her! Best of luck!
2007-08-05 21:33:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
just because she's not with him means she cant go thru with the pregnancy. Im sorry to all the other fathers out there. but it's not like you guys do all that much to help us out with our children. You arent pregnant for what seems like forever, you dont have the pain of labor and delivery, you dont have the sore breasts and the bleeding once a month, you dont have to be the one getting up at all hours of the night unless your raising the baby yourselves. So I dont see why she wants an abortion just because they broke up. She's old enough to realize things arent set in stone. Especially if your not married it makes things worse. At the most she should give it up for adoption, not get an abortion. Other wise she needs to get over it and worry about her son and her soon to be .
2007-08-05 21:35:00 · answer #7 · answered by adrianne M 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I cant understand any woman who already has given birth to a beautiful child, wanting an abortion. So she broke up with her man....big deal. Many women out there are single mothers and make it.
Be there for your sister. Phone her or visit her. Have a long chat with her. She needs you right now. She might be feeling really low losing him, and pregnancy hormones running riot.
I would get to her side as soon as possible cos she is going to end up regretting it if she does go ahead with the abortion.
Good luck.
2007-08-05 21:24:54 · answer #8 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
yes i have been there before a little over a year ago.you see he was my man but i didn't want to have his child because i knew what kind of man he was.i was really contemplating on whether or not should have this child.and although we still broke up i had my baby anyway.no I'm not regretting the child just who the father is.tell your sister that she needs to really think about this abortion before she regrets it.it might be for the best if she does have the abortion.just know that she needs to be careful next time.now because of what i went through with my ex i had my tubes tied.no child deserves to be put in a situation that might hurt them in the long run.you know,not having his father around.and that's probably how she's thinking.
2007-08-05 21:41:07 · answer #9 · answered by cyrontae1110 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
AAAGH! NO! Abortion is wrong! It's murdering a young, indeveloped fetus that may be the person that cures cancer, or lands on Neptune, or saves the world from aliens! Whatever you do, stay away from abortion. Try to take care for the child, at least. It's not like your sister won't have support from her family and friends! At least give it to a adoption home where it can find a family that it can be safe and healthy.
Please! Do me, yourself, your sister, and that baby a favor. Abortion is bad...Seriously!
2007-08-05 21:27:15 · answer #10 · answered by ZomToad 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋