Concerned with my mom.?

Question

My mom and dad are going through a horrible divorce/separation. She's been dealing with the separation for two years now. She has become my best friend, and she was just starting to get over things, and she wanted to get back out and date, and meet people, she wanted to change her life around. My father recently has yet again, played with her emotions, I won't go into detail. But after being lovey with her, giving her false hopes, etc... He decided to pack up and leave to go be with another woman. He's distinctively said he wants to be with her and her family and not ours any longer. My mother is torn about this, I just want to try and make things easier for her, is there anything I could do?

Answer 1

Just let your mom know you're there for her at all times thru thick & thin. Your father really did her an injustice & played games w/her heart. He is a selfish non caring person to do this to your mom. Especially after she'd gotten herself straightened out to the point of accepting everything was over. Back he plops into her life again giving her nothing but false hope. Unfortunately for her, she must be a super person to even trust him again, try to give him a second chance & this is what she gets for doing it. I can tell you one thing, being a cheater as he is, this relationship he's now in w/not work out in the long run. He'll do the same thing to her in the future. What goes around DOES come back around & he definitely w/get "his" one day. God help him if he even thinks your mom w/take him back again. Be there for her to help her be as strong as she can be at this time. She's your mom, & she sure does deserve a lot of happiness after what he's put her thru. She also should get as much out of him as she can too. No, money can't & won't buy happiness, but she should be reimbursed as much as possible for the pain he inflicted on her. Just be there for her, let her know how much you love her & care about her. Let her know you're there for her support & not to be afraid to confide in you on days when she just plain feels like she needs to be "carried". Your father shouldn't be treated nor should he expect any respect from either one of you. All the best to YOU & your Mom...

Answer 2

Oh this is so sad. I truly wished that things could have turned out differently for your parents. I think the time for your mother to file for divorce has finally come. No matter what happens to your father. The best thing you can do for your mother is go on with your life and make the best of it. If you are still in school...stay in school and make the best grades that you can. Don't marry the first person that comes along...date many people and don't rush into marriage.

Answer 3

This is a tough situation and I'm sorry to hear your family is going through it. I am sure it helps your Mom to have you there with her, supporting her and listening to her - so if you can continue that, I'm sure that will be very helpful. I think it is important to help your Mom look at all the possibilities the future holds for her and her newfound freedom. Maybe you could plan to do something fun together - sometimes a change of scenery does wonders when possible.
Mostly, don't forget to take care of yourself though. You're going through something her too.

Answer 4

Divorce is lame. There is little you can do and you can't fix it. Just continue to encourage her and be there for her. Love on her as best you can, build her up, and let her know how cool and strong she is and how you look up to her. And the next time Daddy comes around treat him the same way so that they both know that your love is not conditional and will not change with their behavior. If he asks, let him know you don't like him jerking her around at all. You can't control what people do, but you can be there for them when it hits the fan.

I was close to my mom during her divorce and I was like her little confidant. Be careful that you don't take too much on and encourage her to get counseling if she needs it. You aren't responsible for her happiness. Do your best, but don't beat your brains out. Try to stay out of the fighting, but don't bottle your opinion or the truth.

Answer 5

Your mother needs to realise you are her daughter, you are there to support her NOT pick up the pieces for her and play best friend. She has got to move on, going through the grieving process is fine but your father has moved on and so should she. Two years to deal with a separation is not healthy, death I could understand but he's not dead yet.

Answer 6

i agree with Rohak the next time he comes around make him feel unwelcomed, giving a person false hope has always been below cold! whats even colder is that hes with another famliy. be there for your mom, you said the two of you are best friends, go out to the malls and have fun, get stuff off your mind

Answer 7

She should see an outside professional to talk about her feelings. I know you are trying to help, but it's not your job to be the rock for your mother. The situation affects you, too. Maybe you should both see a counselor to talk about the feelings of abandonment and the anger.

Answer 8

Yeah kick your dad in the nuts, j/k the only thing you can do is be there for her unfortunately affairs of the heart are very difficult, and no matter what anybody says, or how much you agree with what they say it still hurts,so I wish you luck and please tell your mom that shes worth a whole lot more than him, and that one good thing came from that marriage and that's you.......keep your head up........

Answer 9

seriously just make your mom as comfortable as possible make her dinner, go see funny movies together try to make her forget, even if it's really difficult to get over, I and cannot imagine how hard this must be for you but stay strong on this, she needs you now more than ever

Answer 10

just listening to her and being there for her is the best thing you can do. i think the fact that you want to be her best friend is something that your mom will cherish. the two of you stand together and you will get through it.