Young Marriage?

Question

My boyfriend and I have a very close relationship. We have been dating for four months and we were best friends for five years. We both liked each other and were close enough to be dating during those five years- minus the kissing, sex etc. We are both very much in love and I cannot think of anyone else better to spend my life with. Recently, he asked me to marry him. Of course, I said yes! We both think we will be engaged for some time, maybe getting married near the end of our second year of university. Right now I am seventeen, heading into grade 12. What do you think of this. I think it is acceptable, but I am afraid of what my friends and family would do or say if they knew. I want people to be happy for our engagement, not scold us for being "young and in love". I hate when people say that! What are some suggestions to get around this getting married young is bad stereotype? Thanks.

Answer 1

The main reason you are going to hear that you shouldn't be married is because you are children and haven't experienced anything of life, only high school. High school gives you nothing about life. Once you are out and in college you change so much you just don't know. Once you are out of college and have real jobs, you are different. The unrealistic idea of love in high school has nothing to do with the real life experience of it when you start to become an adult. Trust me, you will move into so many different feelings and directions once you get into real life, you will wonder what in the world you were thinking as a child. So get your life goals together, find your career direction first, then think about who and why you want to marry. Marriage is incredibly difficult on the best days and takes knowledge of who you are, who you want to be, why, do you want children, how many, can you talk about everything, do you respect each other and how are you thinking to spend the rest of your life together. It is not about some wonderland love that high school offers. Step back and do not talk about marriage. You will be the better for it.

Answer 2

You sound like you have the right foundation for a wonderful relationship. I married my high school sweet heart and now we are divorced. I am now married to a wonderful man who is my best friend. I know that you don't believe it now, but you really do not "grow up" until you get into your mid 20's. I would wait til then to set on a wedding date. If the two of you plan on being together forever, then what is the rush. I'm not saying you will, but if you did break up, wouldn't you rather be dating than be married and have to get a divorce? Take your time with each other because that is the one thing that you have plenty of.

Answer 3

Love is a valuble thing.
But you still have college and the rest of high school.
If you risk that then life with him could lead to kids and then you will need a job and for you to have a good job you need education.
If you marry him try to keep focus on education as well and make sure you have family that understands too. You may be a tad young but you have to be and i mean Be in love.
Do not put it off unless your suree
Tell your family first and talk with them
Between Now And Then alott can change and life with him could crash. Wait and stay engaged but don't get married till you know and that your heart knows cause now being "caught up" in high school and college could cause problems.
Just Know You Have To Think Of Everything That Will Happen
Questions?
I have more answers

Answer 4

As long as you have a long engagement, I say go for it. If you are truly in love and can wait to have kids until you have finished college (maybe grad school too), you should at least see if the engagement will last. If you can last for 5 years or so, you can definitely be married! Just make sure that this is really what you want and you won't care what others say. If people say "young and in love" you can say, "love doesn't care what age you are" or something like that. You can also just ignore it.

Answer 5

It's not a stereotype, it's a fact. Intellectual maturity, the so-called "age of reason," comes at about age 25, and major life-changing decisions shouldn't be made before then. Postponing marriage until after the age of 25 can reduce the chance of divorce by up to 25 percent. Nearly half of all marriages in which the bride is 18 years or younger end in separation or divorce within 10 years.

One advantage of waiting to marry is the ability to spend some time on your own which helps build your confidence -- you know you can make it on your own, you know you bring something to the table. That kind of confidence helps you to be a better partner and be more secure in a marriage relationship. People who are insecure can feel desperate to cling onto their partners and yet may have difficulty making compromises because they fear losing themselves if they do.

Answer 6

Well, your freedom will be gone. You are still a child really, but if you are done exploring the world, then get married. I almost got married in University. Amazing what would have happened if I did. I wouldn't have traveled half way around the world, got married to a person there and had these beautiful kids, family, life, etc... I would still be back where I group up with the same people, do the same things, thinking the same way.

Answer 7

Well I'm sorry, I cant support you on this, why is because you know and your boyfriend know also that you are too young and don't want to face the truth. You are looking for someone to agreed on you being so selfish and not listening to the facts. You are still in school, you need to focused on graduating and becoming successful, not get married at a young age. There is nobody in their right mind is going to be happy for you.. I'm mad at your *** and don't even know you, because you is not thinking. And you probably cant think right now because you is in love and love is very addictive. Love is about to make you make a mistake and then you gone have to rebound from it..If you are so certain he is gone to be there for you, then why don't you wait until you finished college, before you married him.

Answer 8

u two are very young and only in high school so u havent experiecened life yet that is why that stereotype exists and why yur family and friends would be skeptical. when telling these people to get around the stereotype tell them that u are truly in love and explain that u plan on being in engaged for a while becasue being engaged in high school and married in high school are very different.

Answer 9

If you're really that in love, then that love should be able to stand the test of time. If you have plans for college, you won't be wanting kids anytime soon, will you? So, why be so quick to get married? If you are confident that you will eventually get married, just take your time. And why cause all that drama among your friends and family? Don't rush things.

Answer 10

I think people are better off dating for a longer time and have a short engagement. Not the other way around dear. You are extremely too young to be engaged....no matter how long you have known your boyfriend.