how do you know when your marrige is over?

Question

I love my husband and respect him very much . We have had a lot of major fights over the past year and have grown apart .I have caught him lying to me on more than oner occasion .Im finding it hard to trusrt him . It seems like when he's around I feel like I have to walk on egg shells to avoid a fight , so I get stressed . I realize that we're married and we are supposed to work this kind of stuff out , but when is enough , enough? How do you know if your still "IN " love with your spouse? We've been together for almost 10 years .

Answer 1

I know exactly how u feel, because I fell "out of love" with my x-husband, so I know how it feels. One of the biggest signs is when u are happier when he isnt around. When his car pulls in the driveway u don't get that happy feeling, u immediatly feel stressed. When u hug him u feel dead inside, and making love feels like a chore without emotion. Not all marriage problems can be worked out if u are no longer in love. It is only fair to both of u to end it if the love is no longer there. Search your heart and remember how u used to feel about him when u truly were in love and see what the difference is now. My only real advice to u is don't waste precious time being in a loveless marriage when happiness and love could be waiting for u further down the road with the right person. Good luck

Answer 2

I dont know what the trust issues you have with your hubby are, but walking on eggshells is not condusive to a good marriage. People that have been married for years and years still get that feeling of "enough" sometimes.
My husband and I have been married 26 years next week and somedays I feel like I did for him when I first married him, then other days(usually around the full moon) I could rip his throat out and crap down his neck....age, hormones, interests change over the years, just be respectful of your vows and try and put yourself in his shoes for a day, what would you do to make it the best day he has ever had.....men are funny creatures, they do not like to be cornered and told what they are doing wrong, but boy they lap it up when you tell them what they do right, so think about that too....everytime you praise his actions or deeds, that will stick in his mind....when something is bothering you, try and talk in a calm setting, and stay on the subject, dont drag crap up from 5 years ago. 10 years is a long time to stay together, something must have been working....get it back girl.....

Answer 3

I know how hard this must be for you. I have been married for 5 years in October, and love my husband very much.
I don't know the reasons behind his lying, but I can understand that it would be hard to trust him if he has been caught lying.
Do you have kids? If you do, they are a major consideration if you decide to divorce him. If I were in your situation, and had children, I would be doing anything it takes to save the marriage.
Overall, my opinion? Find a good marriage counselor. My parents were having problems, and their marriage considerably improved after going to see a counselor. They are the type of people who usually push their problems under the rug, and talking to a counselor, having that in-between, helped them get their problems out and start having a good marriage again.

Answer 4

I recommend that you two go see a marriage counselor, because it sounds as if you want to work this out. No one can answer whether or not you love him but yourself. It sounds as if you still do because you are asking this and wanting help. 10 years is a long time for people to get comfortable around each other and start fighting more often. You should be able to trust your husband and feel happy and comfortable around him. Do you know how he feels? Talk to a counselor and get their advice.

Answer 5

The "in love" feeling rarely lasts more than 2 years in any long term relationship/marriage. I truly believe after that it is a choice to love your spouse. We are all imperfect people living in an imperfect world - if you want to find enough faults with your spouse so you can justify leaving him then that is what you will do. Or you can choose to honor your marriage vows (if you took traditional vows you said "for better or for worse... until death do us part") and try to work things out.

Answer 6

Things like this happen, the sad thing is that to many people there is no solution other than to end the marriage...and sometimes thats the best thing. There are things you can to do try to save it...but who knows if that going to work or just prolong the outcome.
Think long and hard about the situation.....and if you feel you cant live with him anymore you know what you have to do....Good luck.

Answer 7

this is why marriage is a bad idea for some people.
You need to work through this, think about what brought you two together in the beginning. You loved him then, and you should still love him now. Sit down with him and let him know there's a problem and try to work through it. Councling might work.

Answer 8

When you find that you are happier/more peaceful/less tense/etc. without him than you are with him.

I was married for ten years, and I loved my husband when I divorced him--but I felt nothing but relief when I finally filed the papers. "Working it out" requires BOTH parties to work on it. If he's someone you can't trust--when you've made all the concessions and things aren't getting any better--then it's probably time to kick him to the curb.

Answer 9

You have to decide if your marriage is worth the effort of fixing it. If you think it is, then it's time to start the process. But, if you just want out already and if he feels the same way, maybe it's time to explore that option. Then you can each go on with your lives.

Answer 10

Major fights are easier to resolve than petty ones. Most marriages I've seen disintegrate are ones where trivial matters get in the way.