The following, which are NOT classical haiku, but only follow the syllable count and structure, are intended to examine some banal or cotidian moments:
-You are really smart.
-No, not me. I'm just Jewish.
-Ha, ha, ha! Wise guy.
-What do you know, man?
-Not much of nothing, homie.
-Same old summer life.
I sit watching cats.
Three tabbie kits in a cage.
Licking, licking, calm.
2007-08-05 13:23:16 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
I like the third best
it reads well as a poem
It's something I'd share.
2007-08-13 07:25:06 · answer #1 · answered by smileyd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For those unfamiliar with the term "cotidian", it is a middle English term for the modern "quotidian", meaning "common" or "everyday". "Banal", meaning commonplace or predictable. Now that we all know what you're attempting, let's look at your poems.
Haiku 1: I'd say it was a semi-clever attempt at banality.
Haiku 2: better...not many will get it. so-so.
Haiku 3: I think you missed a good last line/word...try, "licking, licking, paws" or "licking, licking, pause"...either way uses a double entendre and makes it actually a bit clever.
two good attempts, one possible hit.
keep writing
2007-08-13 12:33:11 · answer #2 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there isn't something like a honeymoon stretched for existence time. an afternoon like this, after some years of marriage, is an illustration of mutual love, the place the (actual) cherry is on the (emotional) wedding ceremony cake. while physique language is in fee, its result's magical. that's what this Villanelle tells me. and that's real. easily an relaxing study from a golden pen.
2016-10-09 07:14:32 · answer #3 · answered by frasier 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very creative. You should keep writing, because I enjoyed it. You have a talent and you should use it to your advantage. I would love to read more of your work. I believe in YOU and think you can go very far. Keep on going. You're a superstar!!
2007-08-05 14:55:29 · answer #4 · answered by djb32067433_1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What fun, a haiku.
Here's one by a Jewish princess -
Who is smart and wise.
2007-08-05 15:01:28 · answer #5 · answered by Marguerite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I particularly like the 3rd.
2007-08-13 11:40:50 · answer #6 · answered by atomzer0 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good. Thank you for posting them.
2007-08-05 13:26:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are really smart.
-No, not me. I'm just Jewish.
-Ha, ha, ha! Wise guy.
"lol.lol.lol"
2007-08-11 19:58:52 · answer #8 · answered by hamunaptra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thanks
2007-08-06 11:28:30 · answer #9 · answered by seattle2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋