my husband does not want to discipline our son and has never done,our boy is nearly 5 .my husband never?

Question

listens to me when i talk to him about it-im getting very frustrated by it all.he just will not see sense.i know it's very important to discipine so i feel i'm tugging at a rope if you know what i mean.do you think i should send him packing?also in arguments he's always telling me i'm useless

Answer 1

The two of you seem to have a huge problem discussing how things need to be done in your life. This really should have been talked about before you married not after. So now you need parenting counseling. A child is very smart and can figure out how to take advantage. Two parents need to be on exactly the same page on discipline and everything else that deals with their children. If he is unwilling to take that step and figure out how the two of you can get on the same page, then you may have to consider other alternatives.

Answer 2

Go on strike until he will discuss this matter with you in an adult manner.

I suggest not cooking dinner for him, doing his laundry, picking up his socks etc and perhaps moving into the spare room if you have one.

Don't punish your son but explain to him what he has done wrong and why it is important he understands. Reward him just as much when he does something well and don't let your slacker, wastrel of a husband get all the glory from your son.

Answer 3

You're not useless.
I don't think that yet you should send him packing, but maybe you should seek some counseling. It's very important for a 5 year old to have discipline if you want him to be raised right. It could be that your husband is scared to discipline your son because he's afraid that your son might hate him. It happens alot. Anyhow, good luck with things!

Answer 4

telling you that you're useless, and not disciplining the son are two completely different subjects.

first, if he argues all of the time and puts you down by name-calling, there is some sort of problem in your relationship... if you want to work on it, then do so... otherwise, you have a decision to make.

i don't know why some people don't want to discipline their own kids.... he will pay for it later, i'm sure...

meanwhile, hon, do what is best for you and your child... perhaps seek some professional advice, talk with a friend or relative you respect to get some different points of view.

and take good care ...

Answer 5

Your husband is doing your son a huge disservice by not disciplining him. Your son (and all children) crave boundaries in life. It lets them know that their parents DO care about them and what they do and say to other people. Continue to be strong and set boundaries with your son and give him consequences when he doesn't follow the rules. His teachers and peers will thank you.
You and your husband need to be on the same page. Find articles with the benefits of discipline and show him. Talk to him when your son isn't around. If all else fails insist on counseling.

Answer 6

I know what you mean...Your left doing all the hard work and your husband just undoes everything you've done in an instance. Your son will play you against each other, he will see you as the nasty ogre and his dad as the fun guy...i've been there...the ex did me a favour though and found his own way out... It's a difficult situation for you, u have to try and make your husband pull his weight or you'll just be wasting your much deserved efforts...Good luck!

Answer 7

Why is he trying to deplete your self esteem? He is your husband. You are so needed. Number one by your son, who is not getting any parenting from your husband. So, what is really up here? Is he a slacker and in this marriage for the ride? If so, boot him out. No man, needs to talk to his spouse, the mother of his child, like she is dirt. You are so worthy of someone who sees you as his equal. Talk to him. If he can't change, go now. It will never get better. Good luck.

Answer 8

Send him packing, you are not useless.

I wouldn't necessarily send him packing because of his attitude with your son, but I would for his attitude towards you. Why do you want to stay with someone who is always telling you that you are useless? That isn't love.

Always telling you that you are useless is a form of mental abuse and he should go. He is undermining you with your son and he is undermining you with yourself, trying to make you feel so useless that you can't leave him for fear that you wouldn't be able to cope without him.

You can cope without him. Most women are stronger than men think.

Answer 9

Its not fair that nobody will like your son because his father wont disclipine him and teach him how to act right. You are not useless. If this subject bothers you, then that means youre trying to be a good mother who raises a decent,responsible young man, and with a lazy father like that, he wont become those things. You would be better off being a single parent raising him on your own without his interference. good luck mama!

Answer 10

if he doesnt discipline your son, your son will grow up thinking he can do what he likes around his dad and his dad wont tell him off
you need to tell him he needs to start laying the law down with him when he does wrong
our son is 2, and me and my partner always tell our son no when its wrong!
i wouldnt send him packing over something so trivial, i would sit down with him and talk!
men always tell us women in arguements that we are useless!! i dont know why they just do!!