What is your reaction in couples who engage in swinging?wahat are the advantages and disadvantages?

Question

Please explain your answer thouroughly!your feelings and thoughts about swingers.do you consider swinging as part of your maried life as a couple?

Answer 1

My husband and I were actively in the lifestyle for a little over a year, but we have maintained our views of marriage and (non)monogamy since we mutually decided to put swinging on hold over 3 years ago. This is just because we don't have the time or energy right now to pursue it. We have other obligations, including family, that we must make a priority right now. But we miss it. :)

Swinging isn't a matter of better-than; it's just different. For us, we think it's a fantastic addition to our marriage. It's a hobby, no more no less. This message board thread (18+) discusses pros and cons: http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/showthread.php?t=22175&highlight=pros+cons
I realize that I didn't actually add my own list to that, but I'd have to say that at the top of the pro list is the solidifying effect it has on our marriage; you can't imagine how liberating it is to know - not just think but to KNOW - that no one else can steal your spouse from you. And those who don't believe that anyone could know such a thing is missing out. Oh, and the sex is phenomenal between my husband and I for up to a week or two after an encounter. Swinging is just 100% FUN!

The top con? The sad fact that there are very, very few people out there who understand out point of view. I can no longer relate to jealousy. I have lost friends because of our differences. They were offended by my beliefs and I could not bring myself to stomach theirs...because I had outgrown them. For example, when they would sit around complaining about how their husbands had wandering eyes, I had nothing to say...because I love that my husband has a wandering eye! They fret about whether or not their spouses are cheating on them or THINKING about cheating on them, or whether that smile he flashed the waitress was just politeness or if it was open flirtation. I just don't have time for it anymore. So it can get a little lonely in that respect. We don't overindulge in alcohol at "vanilla" (AKA non-swinging) parties because we don't want to "relax" too much and end up offending someone. And needing to be discreet to protect the delicate sensibilities of others sucks. It makes me wonder why people can't just agree to disagree. Disease is a concern, yes, but we educate ourselves and take as many measures as is practical to reduce our risks, the same as any smart single person would . Pregnancy concerns are nil for us, and we only play with others for whom pregnancy is not a concern either.

Though we're not active at the moment, swinging is definitely a way of life for us. We blend fairly seamlessly with the Vanilla World, but we're not a part of it. After having our eyes opened by it, we can't go back to not knowing what we know. We wouldn't want to.

Answer 2

If it starts before the child has a mind of their own to be disobedient, then the child will go to the parents for their important decisions first, instead of being manipulated by bad peers. Overstrict parents that are abusive are another story altogether. In such a case the advice of friends may help some, or perhaps a teacher etc. Usually a child gravitates to one parent because the other is too strict. Being a parent is no piece of cake. I'm sure of that. If you're a girl and your parents are restricting how late you are going to be out, what are they afraid of? Drugs, sexual influence, being accosted, etc. Those type of parents know it only takes ONE time for something bad to happen and it can ruin your entire life. Nevertheless, children have to grow up. Communication with parents is important. Having good trust with them helps the child make better decisions. Don't be so strict that your child won't confide in you because of fear of being punished. Trust and respect have to go together.

Answer 3

My girlferind and I have thought about it, we've been to a couple of freinds to mess around, not sure if that constitutes as swinging but, really, in our case as it turns out from the get go was, we ended up as a couple because we had child together on a one night stand, although I knew her before hand but things led to another. We've co habited for several years and since I have been around for my kids I have grown to the extent to call her girlfreind. We arent married and we have many disagreements on things and there are serious quirks about her that I am just not happy with. She is very possesive and obsesive in me, there have been times where its like I should have some ankle braclet just to keep track of me where I go, I mean, this is the kinda personality she has. Anyways, we've talked about it and r thinking of doing that, or she said that I could by myself as long as I come back to her, I wouldnt fall in love with someone else cause it will just bring more problems. There arent really advantages, just the disadvantage is your spouse falling for another partner it can get out of hand. Then there's the jealousy that arises later. Before doing that both have to really have a limit and understanding of the situation. But it sounds like fun though.

Answer 4

It's their own business. I have thought a lot on this subject. I have read a lot about it, too. All the sites on the subject say you won't have to worry about cheating, but isn't that because you have already lost everything in your marriage? What are you then? **** buddies that share bills? One woman said that she knew that no-one could take her man, but isn't that because they can all have him? To me, sex in marriage is the most beautiful form of communication there is. I can't imagine letting another person touch me or my husband sexually. It would be different if I didn't love him, but I do. Loving him, and seeing him enjoying sex with someone else, would kill me. I don't think that what you had would be special if it is shared with everyone.

Answer 5

I think of it as a fun way to spice things up. Although, I don't really want to do them anymore, and neither does my husband. We realized that we are happy with just us. That and having other partners is too risky as far as diseases go. To have someone else involved ends up being more of a headache then anything else, too much work. You end up with super clingy people, or people who just want one of you that try to break up your marriage. It's fun for a little while, but it becomes a pain.

Answer 6

Live and let live.. If that is their preference and they are adults, why not? Let them.

However, the relationship as a couple will not last long.. They are going to break up and that is part of the adventure for them.

Answer 7

I think couples who are swingers are just asking for trouble in their marriage. What if one spouse enjoys sex from another partner instead of his married partner? It can cause jealousy, distrust, and disrespect. What kind of marriage is that?

Answer 8

Open marriages & Swinging is a BAD idea..
Only multi-partner sex that works is FFM and
she always invites the other woman...