I found out my husband has been posting personal ads on the internet. He either says he's married, or says he will tell them later. One says he is looking for discreet, kinky sex with a woman. One of them also says he's not sure if he wants more kids, and we have been trying to get pregnant for over a year. I confronted him about these ads and he says him and the guys at work were just screwing around as a joke and looking up fat, nasty women, and women from other countries. He says he is not talking to any of these woman. But I have seen where he sends them little messages saying hi, or email me, or whatever. I told him I couldn't believe he would disrespect me like that. He said sorry and he will stop doing it, that it was just a joke anyway and he was just messing around. I found that he had been sending a few women messages on myspace also but none of them had written back.....what gives? Should I be worried? I never thought he was capable of cheating....help me!
2007-08-05 11:43:15 · 23 answers · asked by babyj248 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He lies will cheat if he can.Dosen't respect you . What more do you need > Lifes to short get rid of him before he gives you something you can't get rid of.
2007-08-05 13:07:42 · answer #1 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think everyone is capable of cheating under certain circumstances, everyone. It just depends what that trigger might be and how you define the situation. People are fallible, vulnerable and imperfect.
I'd look for a name that he wrote to and write back as that person but make up a reason that, that the original email account is off limits. Make that excuse short, clean and believable. Start a dialog and see where it takes you. You then need to decide what you want and what you are truly willing to do. You may find out things you don't want to know so prepare yourself and make a plan. Never go into something like this unprepared, document everything and be sure you are in a good position to leave if everything blows up. If by chance he doesn't follow through with this person and finds ways to clear out or just drops the emails before they really get out of hand, well then I'd keep my mouth shut and start a real process of fixing and healing. Also, drop the whole get pregnant thing until you are positive beyond one ounce of doubt that this nonsense is over. Babies absolutely NEVER solve a relationship problem ever, they cause more stress.
2007-08-05 12:19:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a problem because people who get on these sites should be single only----as a single person i think your husband is the joke not those women he is "messing with". Also you should be the only one on his mind but so figure what is wrong with men and their silly excuses any way. Tell him he might just be playing with fire as far as you are concerned! Stand up for yourself. I feel bad about being single until i read something like this. You husband is only making himself look bad and acting immature at that.
2007-08-05 11:59:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well confront him more forcefully. Tell him if he wants to have this kind of life then he can do it alone, that you arent going to be around. Or you could go and answer one of his ads. Play up to the kinky thing. Get him interested. Copy everything that is said and written. Then plan to meet him at a motel and let him see it is you. But be all dressed up for the occasion. Beat him at his game.
2007-08-05 12:02:13 · answer #4 · answered by marlenekay4 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please ignore Jackel, that's a young immature boy playing in Yahoo Answers.
Yes, he is going to and chances are already has cheated on you.
You would need to sit down and have a serious talk with him about what type of sex it is that he is seeking all though I think I already know. He has not had the courage to tell you what it is he likes, and there for he seeks it else where. Don't feel bad, its not your fault as he never brought it to you. Its his fault. He is a coward and a liar.
I'm sorry to have to say that, but I know from experience how men lie and manipulate their wives.
Since it has gone as far as it has I think you should separate from him now. If you truly love him and want to make it work the two of you need sit down and make a plan.
2007-08-05 12:01:59 · answer #5 · answered by Black Kitten 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are being too soft. I would freak out at him. That is no joke to do something like that. It's not fair to you and WAY too disrespectful. Tell him to get rid of all of that sh*t and if he don't, your gone. That's what you need to do to a man sometimes, scare him to pieces. Maybe then he will learn. I would be so bold and go on to his email and tell these skanky women that may respond to him, that this is his wife typing the message, and for them to not respond again. Maybe your husband will learn his lesson, if not, don't waste your time with him, he's a cheater!
2007-08-05 11:57:53 · answer #6 · answered by Kim B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What buckaroo said is quite funny. You do have a problem your husband is disrespecting you and this is not cool. He is being unfaithfully to you; yes I know that as far you know he hasn’t met any of these women. But as the bible says even the thought is considered adultery. Not to mention if he is just playing with this woman who are trying to find someone, it’s beyond cruel. I’d advice you to stop any baby making attempts till you have worked out your marriage. It’s not right to bring a child into the world where the marriage is rocky. I've seen it happen it is not a pretty picture.
2007-08-05 11:56:06 · answer #7 · answered by Spread Peace and Love 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sweetie, I'd be hurt and angry.. "just messing around" (?) Crap!! In your place my trust in him would be severely shaken... nice guys who are married don't do this kind of thing, sorry, hon, they just don't. This is lack of respect for you, for your marriage, for the loving (???) bond between the two of you-----it is for sure crude, and a ton of other things. Frankly, if I stewed on it long enough, I just might hand the guy divorce papers.... This is really a ratty thing to do.... and don't believe for one minute that it was a joke, and that he was looking for "fat, nasty women"... No guy, even if you hand him a stack of his own letters in his own handwriting, and caught red handed, probably not even if you caught him in bed with some lady, would EVER admit cheating.....
2007-08-05 12:03:46 · answer #8 · answered by April 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Personally I would leave the guy! If you stay you are giving him permission to walk on you and you are also telling him it's ok to post ads. Posting personal ads is a form of cheating. Good Luck!
2007-08-05 12:22:50 · answer #9 · answered by easygoingfemale44 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Believe me he is not joking. Tell him to stop it NOW or you are gone. I am a guy so I know the first thing I say when I get caught doing something I know is wrong or will get me in trouble is "I was kidding". Its a lie do not believe him
2007-08-05 12:19:15 · answer #10 · answered by Love the west 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put parental controls on your computer and do not permit him to know the code to turn them off. Tell him that if he truly cared about you, he would stop the personal ads altogether. Tell him that you want him to take counselling with you. If he refuses to go with you, go alone. Let him know that it's either you or the personal ads, and that you are not going to settle for both. You deserve more.
Best of luck, hun. *hugs*
XOXO,
Laurie
2007-08-05 12:02:24 · answer #11 · answered by Laurie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋