another baby in an unhappy marriage just for my 2 years old son not be alone in life?

Question

I am living far from my country and my culter,married for 5 years, have an unrespectful husband that swears at me infront of our 2 years old son.I am very sorry for my son because of not being able to give him a happy family atmospher and I think he would be happier with a brother or a sister.Would it be fare on the coming baby?

Answer 1

why would you want two kids to have to hear your hubbys verbal abuse? think about it, if you had two kids then you will have to have them both live in fear of this man and they wouldnt be happier together they would be miserible together, the bestthing for you to do is get out of this relationship, it is only hurting your child and you.why stay if he is disrespectful to you in front of your kids. what do you think is happening to your child inside his head. how will it affect your kid? dont have another child and bring him into this world with that man.

Answer 2

Having another child is not the answer. You will have 2 not 1 child being raised in an unhappy household. You should think long and hard about the situation and how you can make things better for yourself and your son. Currently he is being shown a negative example of how a man should treat a woman. Although you are far from your country you may want to figure out ways to improve your marriage and if that is not possible, consider ending this very unhealthy relationship. I do no make the suggestion lightly...I am sure you see it as a life long commitment you made to your husband. At the same time, the commitment you made when you became a mother to protect you child is more important. He deserves to have a happy childhood and you deserve to be treated with respect. There is no excuse for his verbal abuse especially in front of your son. Try to resolve this in another way. Your happiness is important and if you are happy you will find he will be too.

Answer 3

How incredibly niave. If you are sorry that your son has to witness this abuse, do you want another child to suffer in the same way.
I made one of the hardest decisions in my life with a very similar set of circumstances.

My daughter was young and very impressionable, her mother loves her deeply as do I. Her mother and I are no longer in love and the animosity is growing fast. Do I stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the child and let her grow up in an atmosphere of hatred ? Or do I leave and inflict the torment of living in a one parent family ?

I decided that if I truly loved my daughter I should do what is best for her and not what is conveniant for me. I left so that my daughter would not come home each and every night to an atmosphere of anger, distrust and tension.

If by your presence you make the problem bigger or worse the go. If you don't want your son to grow up thinking that abusing women is an acceptable and the normal way to treat a woman then get out. To bring another child into this situation spells disaster.

Answer 4

I would not think it's in the best interest to introduce another child into an unhappy marriage.

Has your husband thought of counseling with you? You really need to speak with your husband about how he treats you in front of your son. Children learn about relationships from their parents and he should not be witness to this kind of talk.

I would say not to have another baby until your marriage is either resolved or ended. I would really say you need to speak to someone.

Answer 5

more to the point, would it be fair on you, if you marriage is unhappy another baby could finish it, try and see if you can get your young son signed up for playschool, even if it's only one day a week to start with, you may have to stay at first but this would give him some friends to play with, and also someone your own age to talk to. it would be better to try and improve your marriage before you think of having anymore children, why not sit down and quietly talk to your husband and tell him the effects of his outbursts are having on you and your son. then take it from there.

Answer 6

Dont have another baby with this horrible husband.

There's lots of help in this country for abused wives,whether it be physical or mental.

You will be stuck with him for many more years if you have more family,your son wont be any happier just because he has a sibling,you need to get him out of the unhappy environment,also what about the new baby's happiness,dont subject 2 of them to it.

Answer 7

Do not bring another baby into an already unhappy situation. You would then be creating a miserable environment for two babies instead of one. Instead, you should either start standing up for yourself and insisting on respect from your husband or you should be leaving. You are allowing the disrespect to continue each day that you do not tell your husband that it is not acceptable and that you will no longer tolerate his verbal abuse. This is a test for you in life. To see if you will stand up to someone who is trying to emotionally beat you down. Pass the test by standing up to him and becoming a great example for your son on how women should be treated. If you lack the courage to do this, your son will verbally abuse all women in his life, starting with you.

Answer 8

No, it wouldn't be fair to your son, to your baby, and to yourself.

You may not be able to leave your husband, but you can still be a loving mother to your son.
Does your husband want to have another child?

Or, would having another child add to his frustrations and stress, making him even more difficult to live with? Is he a good father? (aside from cussing at you in front of him)

If he is not a good father, that is another reason to not have another child because then you would have 2 innocent children watching their mom be treated disrespectfully by their father, instead of just one of them.

Can you find some little friends for your son to play with? I'll bet he would love that. Kids like being around other kids.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

I’d say you need to leave your husband and find a man that respects you. Do you want your son to grow up in a household from what you say is not happy and quite miserable. Want him grow up thinking its ok to disrespect woman? Because that is what he is learning. Your child does not need a sibling at this time, he needs a mommy who is going to do what is best for him and her. Focus on your son and yourself, then hopefully one day you will find a man worthy of you, and then maybe your son will have siblings. Or at the most he will have a positive father figure in his life. He’d even be able to have a happier home if it was just the two of you.

Answer 11

People are going to give me a thumbs down for this, but I don't care...

I'd say yes, if you desperately don't want your son to be alone later on in life and to have a sibling, then yes, have another baby - then LEAVE your partner.

Your son won't be any happier with a brother or sister if you are still with your husband, but if you choose to leave him soon after the birth, or even once you're pregnant, then I'd say yeah, go for it - your son will need someone in life he can rely on once you have gone. I'd hate to be an only child.