I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We've had our ups and downs, but overall our relationship is pretty good. For the past couple of months, my boyfriend has shown little or no interest in sex. It's not a hormone thing, because he still enjoys oral sex, but when it comes to intercourse, he either doesnt want to do it, or does it half-heartedly, I do all the work, and finally just get frustrated with him not putting any work into, and quit. The only time he shows interest in sex is when we've been out drinking. When I try to talk to him about it, he says that it's either no big deal, or that I'm basing our relationship only on sex, because I want it all the time. We've had sex maybe 4 times in the past 3-4 months. I know he's not cheating. I don't know if maybe he doesn't think I'm cute anymore. I've tried buying cute outfits, new perfume, doing my hair and makeup pretty. We used to have a great sex life, but now all he wants is oral. Whats wrong? Serious answers only PLEASE
2007-08-05 11:10:02 · 5 answers · asked by Sienna's Mommy 2 in Health ➔ Men's Health
Honey, I don't think it's you. It sounds like he's having intimacy issues and it could be related to depression or anxiety. Has his job changed or something going on with his family? Sometimes, when people drink they losen up and let go of anxiety and troubles. That would explain why he's more into intercourse when he's been drinking.
Oral sex is just a sex act. There's no effort involved in it, except for your part. It's difficult because he doesn't sound like he's ready and willing to open up about what's bothering him. So, instead of a sex drive problem, he's having a communications problem. Something is bothering him. Sure, it could be you, but mainly -- I think you could be a nudist super model and he might act the same. You may want to work on your approach to see if there's something other than sex that's on his mind. You can't push because he'll clam up, but try to talk about his job a little more or try opening up about something that may be bothering you -- not sexual -- and see if you can get him to open up and chat. Also, make sure you time it right. Asking him to talk during a football game is NOT going to work. Maybe make dinner and have a quiet house. You know him best, so you'll figure out what works. Good luck!
2007-08-05 11:22:06 · answer #1 · answered by Angie B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WItholding sex is a sign he doesn't want to connect with you for some reason. He may be angry at you. He may be having second thoughts about the relationship. The intimacy between you may be scaring him. Alcohol, contrary to popular belief, actually reduces libido. So the fact that he wants to have sex with you after drinking is a sign that this is a mental thing, not physical. Whatever feelings he's experiencing that make him uncomfortable with sex are numbed enough after drinking that he's able to do it.
Ditto the answers above. You need to talk to him and find out. This is not nothing. This is something. Don't let him invalidate it.
2007-08-05 11:21:21 · answer #2 · answered by LG 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be a number of things, stress, your changes, or an addiction to oral if that is all he wants. Stop bothering him about and give him some time, if he is interested he will come around. If it does not straighten out, talk with him again or get a referral to a doctor or counselor
2007-08-05 11:15:13 · answer #3 · answered by julvrug 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he on any medications? Suffer from depression? These could affect the sex drive.
2007-08-05 11:14:28 · answer #4 · answered by dwp_hornblower 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The two answers above mine are basically what you need to do.
Communication is key, and he is obviously not telling you everything.
2007-08-05 11:16:11 · answer #5 · answered by ananvilhurtz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋