I recently descovered that my husband is cheating on me through phone records and other weird behavior on his part. After confronting him he denied it and told me that all he wants to do in his life is go out and drink with his "friend" and sit on his rear and watch t.v. I have chosen to leave him but I have not told him yet for fear of what he might do because of his very shot temper. Plus I have also caught him lying to me almost daily. Just wanting to be reasured that I am making the right decision in leaving and getting a divorce, because even after all of this I do still love him even if he does not show any love back.
2007-08-05 10:33:29 · 17 answers · asked by sonjarettig 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds to me like you are making the right decision.
It's not about you still loving him. . . it's more about how much you love yourself, and how much longer you are willing to let him keep hurting & disrespecting you.
He told you that all he wants to do in his life is to drink beer with his "friend", sit on his rear & watch tv. Yes. . . it's time for you to take your love someplace else. He doesn't deserve it.
Unless, of course, he is filthy rich. In that case, I would be so busy spending his money that I wouldn't care what he was doing. But, that's just me.
Good luck.
2007-08-05 10:45:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is that if my husband cheated on me, I would DEFINITELY leave him. It is the ultimate lack of respect. I could never live with a man like this. When you take marriage vows, you vow to be monogamous. What has he done? Made a joke out of the whole thing, right? If I sound strict and inflexible, fine, that's the way I am..I have principles and I stick to them. Sorry, anything else I can forgive except unfaithfulness in a boyfriend or adultery in a husband. By the way, that's what it is..adultery.
2007-08-05 17:40:25 · answer #2 · answered by sonia 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont think it was a wise decision based on your husbands suspicious activities of lying to you, there is no clear evidence that he is cheating other than phone records and lying. Have you called anyone on those phone list to find out it they are sleeping together? Who among the listed phone record, you know for sure that he is messing around with? Sometimes two head are better than one, and the most appropriate decision I would have suggested is arrange for a marriage counselling between you and your husband and let your husband come up clean. At that time you would consider to forgive him if he cheated on you and repented or move on with your life but one thing though, its hard to find a faithful husband out there and since you have been subjected to such suspiocious cheating life, you will still carry it on to the next relationship. I have seen these happenning all the times and I wonder why I never had time to cheat on my wife although she kept on suspecting me of cheating, she kept my cellular phone for quit sometime and every woman who call she went off innocently as those women were actually calling for normal business matters only. I remember one time my college student cordinator Lashonda called me to confirn if I recieved text book and my wife had the phone. I had her ask, can I ask who is calling, she answered, why you call my husband you bitc....He is my husband and rap rap rap..... I snatched the phone from her and I called her back immediately appologising for my wifes behavior. You have to have a clear evidence that he is cheating on you
2007-08-05 18:14:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm hoping that consulting with Yahoo Answers is not your only intervention tried. Have you tried other interventions? Marriage counseling? Prayer? Conversing with lifelong friends who know both of you? His behaviors are all symptoms of serious marital problems. Do you have children? How forgiving are you? Have you thought about this: Once you do file and take 1/2 the assets that might be a wake up call to him. What if he changes? I'm not condoning his adultery - it is one of two conditions the Lord sees as valid reasons for divorce. Divorce and the life after divorce is not easy, especially if you have children. It's just that reconciliation is sometimes possible. Please be careful in all ways. If and once you do file, be sure that you are safe.
2007-08-05 18:04:04 · answer #4 · answered by MsManner 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you are right. You sound far more intelligent than he is. I know you still love him, but you are worth more than this.
If you fear his temper enough, you're justified in getting a restraining order (called an order for protection in some states). You can get a divorce without him having to come near you, except in divorce court, where you do have to see him.
If all he wants to do is sit on his you-know-what and watch TV, let him do it alone.
2007-08-05 17:38:06 · answer #5 · answered by Alana 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it sounds like you should leave. We have all been in relationships that didn't work out despite the fact that you love someone. Love is not a reason to stay if you are not happy, and with a guy acting like this, how are you ever going to be happy? There is a whole world out there to explore and find happiness! Good luck!!
2007-08-05 17:42:13 · answer #6 · answered by KC 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, you know more details than we do, did this behavior start out of the blue or has your relationship been on the decline, what are the issues that led to his cheating?
Are you willing to take couples therapy and be forgiving and patch things up?
Both of you need to have a serious open conversation discussing these things.
Follow your heart, good luck
2007-08-05 17:48:18 · answer #7 · answered by kerstin g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its obvious here that you have decided that youre better off without him. Because of the fear of what possibly could happen,you may want to contact a local womans help group for help or advice and they will. You may also want to get a protective restraining order against him just in case and then follow the help groups advice. Make sure you tell them you are in fear of your life and not sure what he will do. Good luck
2007-08-05 17:40:38 · answer #8 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please leave him, this is the right thing to do, I going through a divorce after as of this month 33 years, I glad I did filed because he would not file. This is not easy it hurts and the road can be long to get to the finish line but it's worth it. Do you want to chat, email me, best of luck.
2007-08-05 18:02:26 · answer #9 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's up to you...have you talked to your husband about how you feel and what you want from this marriage? Tell him that you love him, but if this is what he wants from life then you want a divorce. Really, talk to your husband first, if he wants to stay in the marriage, he will talk, if not then you know that divorce is the correct way to go.
2007-08-05 17:49:43 · answer #10 · answered by goldenfir 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋