My hubby had two spinal surgeries this past year, and I had to stay home with him. The doctor finially told him he could go out on the boat as long as he had someone to help him in and out and all he did was sit and fish. He can also go to the race track as long as he does not climb bleachers. Anyway, I told him to go fishing and he said " not without you, it would not be fair , you have done nothing this summer" Last night he could have gone to the races , but again, even though I don't like races, he said " it's not fair to you" I am going nuts. He has been around me 24/7 for a year. I usually go to visit my gay friend twice a year, I suggested it and he said " what , I can't go?' How do I tell him nicely I need some space?
2007-08-05 10:28:03 · 3 answers · asked by vivib 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He did ask his doctor for something for depression, he feels worthless not being able to work for 2 years now due to the back injury. He just clings to me now and it was never like that before all this--we did our own thing, no questions asked.
2007-08-05 10:41:44 · update #1
More than likely, you husband is suffering from depression - his entire way of life, just like yours, has been upheaved - he feels like less of a man and has become completely dependent on you. He isn't emotionally ready to go and do things on his own.
I seriously suggest you get him counseling first, before you start trying to do things all on your own, he needs to get emotionally stronger too, if he doesn't, things between you may go very bad as he will feel that you aren't just needing time to breathe, but will be insecure enough to think you are pulling away - expecialy if you leave out of town.
A therapist can help the two of you communicate while you transition, yet again, into another phase of his recovery.
2007-08-05 10:37:29 · answer #1 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The same way you just told us. Start with "Honey, I really do love you but....." and then just calmly explain the situation and that you just want some time to yourself and away from the house and him to recharge yourself,or tell him your going to lunch with a girlfriend.take what you can get here. Or you can phrase it as a question; "Is it ok if I have lunch with a girlfriend?" Good luck
2007-08-05 17:35:28 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do you have relations with your gay pal? is that why you need space?
divorce is around the corner.
2007-08-05 17:40:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋