This is just a curiosity question, not a personal one, but do you have any deal breakers in your relationship? What, if any, are the lines your significant other would have to cross for you to call it quits without trying?
I wouldn't tolerate abuse of any type, be it physical, verbal, sexual, emotional, or substance. I wouldn't allow our child to grow up in that atmosphere, nor would I allow our pets to take the brunt of any cruelty. That would be grounds for me to leave immediately.
I also wouldn't accept adultery. Affairs--physical, emotional, or both--are something I couldn't get past. I don't consider having female friends cheating, but we also agree on where friendship ends and the next level begins. Same with porn--downloading a video is fine in our relationship, but anything interactive is not.
Major or habitual lying is the other thing. There's simply no need for it. I can deal with anything my other half has to say as long as he's honest.
What are yours?
2007-08-05 09:46:04 · 10 answers · asked by thegnomeofwrath 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Any sort of abuse or / and dishonesty would be the major two deal breakers for me. I also wouldn't stand for neglect emotional or otherwise, simply because I deserve better than that. In life and in marriage we all should know who we are and recognize our needs as well as other people's. In successful relationships both partners working toward meeting these needs. It isn't an easy job, but a pretty rewarding one.
2007-08-05 10:06:52 · answer #1 · answered by ms.sophisticate 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming you mean no-questions-asked, automatic deal-breaker...? It's almost impossible to imagine there would be any one thing that would erase 30 years together. It would be a bit like divorcing a half of myself. It would certainly not be as simple as "not helping out around the house" or "not pleasing me" as some answerers have suggested. Our relationship is more giving and more tolerant than that. I can't say even cheating would be automatic. Would I be devastated? Absolutely. But I'd need to ask a million questions first: Do you love her? Was it a one-time thing? How long ago did it happen? What does it mean for us now? My decision would depend. Physical abuse? Yeah, that would get me out of the house. But divorce? Depends. 30 years of never touching me in anger speaks pretty loudly. Is he having some kind of emotional breakdown? Give me closet polygamist or some other secret life. Give me pedophile. Say he's raped or murdered someone. When confirmed, THOSE are automatic deal-breakers. Not doing the dishes for me? Hardly.
2016-05-19 09:42:58 · answer #2 · answered by ashli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do have it covered but I would say my number one deal breaker would be anything that jeopardizes our trust in dealing with one another. Trust is so huge. It's the difference in putting your life in someone's hands or knowing a person has your best interests at heart. Once trust is gone, it's really hard to get it back the way it was.
2007-08-05 10:30:38 · answer #3 · answered by MockingBird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All the things you mentioned, plus for me a major deal-breaker is smoking or tobacco use of any type. It's disgusting and smelly and dirty. I couldn't stand it. I was on a blind date
a couple months ago, and halfway through dinner the guy
took a can of SKOAL out of his pocket and said, "This is my
only vice". EEEEWWWWW!!!!! Not just because I'm a woman, but I'm also a dental hygienist, so it totally grossed
me out!!! In fact, I told him, "I'm sorry, but that's a deal-breaker for me, and I won't waste any more of your time
or mine, so, nice meeting you, bye."
2007-08-05 10:33:30 · answer #4 · answered by doodlebug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your list but I won't tolerate porn of any kind. I think it's disrespectful to women all around. I won't tolerate lying or anything in our environment that would hurt our children emotionally or physically.
Also, I hope he wouldn't tolerate any of that from me.
Our number one rule: Treat each other the way you want to be treated.
2007-08-05 13:30:18 · answer #5 · answered by plastic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smoking.
2007-08-05 09:51:05 · answer #6 · answered by luckyman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the three As - Abuse, Adultey, Addiction - in no particular order.
2007-08-05 13:06:08 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree, and have had a few ex b/f and an ex husband that did a few of those things. And of course that is why they are ex's
2007-08-05 09:56:14 · answer #8 · answered by yep its me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got it covered!
2007-08-05 09:50:29 · answer #9 · answered by aj's girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, i really agree with what you have listed....
2007-08-05 09:51:14 · answer #10 · answered by Andrea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋