I am pregnant. My grandmother says she is ferious. And because my boyfriend is older then me she wants to charge him with rape. I dont live with her or anything. I want her to except this baby when it comes. And I dont believe in abortions. She also is telling my mother that she is a bad mother and that she is letting me ruin my life. What do I do?
2007-08-05 09:33:42 · 12 answers · asked by Debbie J 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Well, if in fact it is statutory rape, then I guess anyone can turn him in. I would suggest you keep your distance from her and not argue with her. Why tick her off?
Maybe your parents can talk to her? Point out that sending a guy to jail does very little for future marriage propsects, or even child support. He's going to have a heckuva time providing for his child if he's doing 5-10 and then comes out as a registered sex offender and ex-con. It's too late to pick another father, so he's part of the family now. So she's not doing anyone any favours by turning the guy in, unless he's 35 and you're 13.
It's natural for the parents and grandparents to be upset. They want their precious offspring to marry Prince William or one of the Rockerfellers, not the guy who works at the corner store (or worse). If he's basically a nice guy, they'll get over it.
2007-08-05 10:02:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Often times our elders tell us how it is b/c they are giving us their life experience to try to help us avoid our own heartache. I know it is frustrating to have to listen to that. The problem is, to some extent she is right. Your life will drastically change. It is a change you can't really prepare for. She has beent here done that. And to some extent you need to allow her to be angry. She has every right to be. She worked had during her life to give her children/grandchildren a better life then she had. For her to be angry is expected. In time she will get over it.
Don't burn any bridges though. She is still your grandmother and she still loves you -- if she didn't she wouldn't care. You will need her emotional support even if it doesn't seem like you don't right now. In time, little by little, show her the good int he situation... "Grandma, I know I am young and I made a mistake but I am going to do everything I can to make it right. I am going to stay in school, boyfriend is going to help support the baby, etc. This is not mom's fault. I did this by myself. I hope you can have a big enough heart to forgive me so that I can share the joys and growing of my beautiful baby with you! I couldn't do this with out you" Or something to that effect.... HTH!
2007-08-05 16:43:42 · answer #2 · answered by USMC_Wifey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just leave her to her ranting, funny thing my grandmother done exactly the same when my 17 yo, unmarried sister got pregnant now she has gone silly and made the baby stuff and dotes on him so they do come around.
2007-08-08 21:39:38 · answer #3 · answered by Melissa S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't change her as a person. It's up to her to do that. Without catching you guys in the act the cops would have little to provide as evidence. I mean really, if you ahve to you can say the kid isn't his if it becomes a legal issue. Wait for the baby to come and by then she should get her head on her shoulders and atleast support her grandchild if not it's father.
2007-08-05 16:42:40 · answer #4 · answered by Lindsey M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't talk to her. you're pregnant and you don't need the stress she's adding. your choices good or bad don't really matter at this point, getting prepared to be a mom does matter.
cut your loses for now.. I'm sure when the baby is born she's going to want to be a part of it's life...
2007-08-05 16:51:59 · answer #5 · answered by mporter128 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she'll get over it my mother was upset when she found out i was pregnant at 19 with a 30 year old...(now my husband) my mother is now 100% ok with it and actually cant wait to hold the baby....she WILL get over it
Bassiccaly leave it alone for now
2007-08-05 16:46:08 · answer #6 · answered by Stacey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what you do your grandmother can choose to be furious at you all she wants. It will ot change who the fatgher of your baby is. She will have to accept it regardless.
2007-08-05 16:47:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't really see what this has to do with your Grandmother.if you and your boyfriend are happy together there is no need for her to do this.after all,what kind of start is this for a baby having a daddy with a possible criminal record?. you need to sit down and talk with her,but as she is not your guardian,it is really up to your mother to report anything if she feels it necesary.good luck!.
obviously i do not know your ages though,and it would have helped us help you if you had put in this info!
2007-08-05 16:41:55 · answer #8 · answered by scorpio_queen_2003 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give her time to cool down. She will come around once the baby comes.
2007-08-05 16:36:57 · answer #9 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In certain states, it is considered RAPE if a MALE adult has sex with a MINOR CHILD.
If you are a MINOR child, your grandmother can make calls.
2007-08-05 16:38:01 · answer #10 · answered by phamy76 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋