I still have my ex-husbands name because I wanted to have the same last name as my kids. Now I'm getting married in a few months and I have not yet solved the dilemma of whether to give my kids my new hubby's name since he's so loving to them and looking forward to being their "dad". He has no kids but treats mine like they are his and their dad barely wants anything to do with him unless he's forced. I want my kids to share my last name and I want to take the name of my fiance. I was thinking of hyphenating but to keep my ex's name seems kinda disrespectful in my mind...What do you think?
2007-08-05 09:18:42 · 14 answers · asked by SmartyPants 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Their dad barely has anything to do with them. I have to beg him for money or to spend time with them. He gets them once a month but always drops them off to be with his mom.
2007-08-05 09:31:51 · update #1
I think it's a good idea IF you can get the ex to agree. Not sure if he is still in the picture, but if he is, he has a say in that, and it may well be that his name is their connection to him.
If he is nowhere around, then by all means, I would even drop the idea of hyphenating it, and let everyone have the same name....
Good luck
2007-08-05 09:23:48 · answer #1 · answered by Michael H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK i am a Little lost here you should let the children keep your maiden name. which is your original last name. but if your ex husband is their father you should let them keep the last names they already got. And if the man you divorced isn't their father you should just giv them your orighinal last name. Even though your new husband may seem like the best man you have ever had don't give them his last name because you never know what may happen latter on down the road and their you go again changing their last names. It seems to me you don't know which way to turn
2007-08-05 16:27:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way your kids can take your fiance's last name is if the ex hubby signs off his rights and your fiance adopts them! You can change your last name and just explain to your kids! They will understand!
2007-08-05 17:02:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your children have a last name. They have a biological father and until HE signs away all parental rights and your new husband adopts them in court HE will be their father and the kids will have his name. You can't just arbitraily change your children's name because of what YOU want. It does NOT matter how much time their biological father spends with them, it does NOT matter what he pays or doesn't pay.
2007-08-05 16:50:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should let your kids keep their fathers name and you take your husband. You are getting married not your children, and how would their father feel in you gave his kids some other mans name. Your new husband could give them the name if he should decide to adopt them.
2007-08-05 16:29:50 · answer #5 · answered by crappiekat1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of your ex's name but let the kids keep their Dad's name. I hate to say it but y our reasons are selfish. It's not only about you. Do what you want to do with your name, but whether or not Dad is a good father, they should be able to identify with him. If your new hubby is who you say he is, you should still be one happy family.
2007-08-05 16:24:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will take approval from your kids father to give up custody and allow your new husband to adopt them. best would be you keep your kids last name until they move out and it will save them confusion. You can always use the new guys last name for things that dont correspond to the kids.
2007-08-05 16:33:47 · answer #7 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should speak to your children's father about this, as he has a voice in all that goes on with them. The two of you should decide and present it to your fiance. That would be a healthy way to handle it.
2007-08-05 16:22:09 · answer #8 · answered by LaraLara 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm....well depending on the age of your children, and if the biological father will consent; consider changing their last names. I got married and my daughter whom had her biological fathers last name opted to have her last name hypenated. She kept her original last name and added on her step-fathers last name. Maybe that is an option.
2007-08-05 16:25:39 · answer #9 · answered by useurbrain 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't keep your ex's name!! That IS disrespectful...and kind of stupid.
I also don't think you should change your children's names.
It's confusing for kids if their names change. And you may not like the guy now...but your ex IS your children's father, and YOU picked him!!
2007-08-05 16:22:58 · answer #10 · answered by jezyka 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋