My girlfriend refuses to cook. We have been dating for 4 years, and I know this sounds silly, but I need a woman who can take care of my children. And that includes cooking for them. I love her very much, but if she won't cook I could never marry her. How do I approach her about this? It's that time in our relationship where I either break up with her or propose. And if she refuses to get in the kitchen, how I am supposed to propose? Seriously.
2007-08-05 08:40:32 · 30 answers · asked by Fratty Palmetto 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Seriously??? do you cook??? let her mow the lawn and do the laundry and the housecleaning..... you cook.... my husband does most of the cooking here....... its only two of us........ be he is a much better cook than I am....... I clean, pay bills, get the oil changes done, mow the lawn, do laundry and work 40 hours a week. He works 60 hours a week and cooks...... work it out if you love her........ if you dont , move on.
show her this question and the answers.... Kids can survive without a mom that can cook, but then they go on to doing and being the same way...... its not a good situation........ if she refuses, move on........ there are so many great gals out there who would love to become your wife and mother of your children, and can cook............. either way its up to you ..
2007-08-05 08:51:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
There is a difference between refusing to cook and not knowing how to cook.
In defense for the current generation of women, noone is born knowing anything. A woman would have to learn how just like a man would. If she is willing but shy about doing something she feels no confidence in, then cooking classes and a LOT of praise from you might help.
If she tells you that under no circumstances will she make any effort to prepare a meal for you or your future children, then keep looking for someone to make your wife. That kind of rigidity speaks to a selfishness that won't help a marriage to be the best it can be.
Also, don't marry her expecting her to change either immediately or when she has kids. If that were the case the fault would be yours and you would have lost all right to complain.
True Story:
I hate to cook. I know how but I hate it. I did NONE of the cooking during my relationship or engagement with my husband. In my mind, I didn't want to give him false expectations of what I was. And the fact that he cooked was a major plus in why I chose him. A couple of weeks after we got married (literally in less than a week after the honeymoon) we had some serious unexpected changes in schedules and careers. Guess who does ALL of the cooking now...me.
He never even had to ask. I did it because my family needs to eat healthfully. And as long as I am able, I will do whatever to make sure they are cared for in every way I can.
My husband, for his part, is VERY appreciative. Every so often, he makes a point of bringing home dinner or taking us out just so I can have the night off. The truth is, he will do whatever to make sure his family is cared for, too. Even if that means making sure his wife feels appreciated.
So, will this woman you hope to make your wife do WHATEVER to make sure her family (husband and kids, not just the kids) are cared for?
2007-08-05 09:28:01 · answer #2 · answered by Autumn C. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, one option is making a lot of money to pay for an in house cook. You would not only make your girlfriend very happy, but you would be providing a job for someone. It's a win, win situation. Yes, times are changed, and roles have changed. Maybe the problem is your thinking hasn't changed. Maybe she will never enjoy cooking for you and your kids. If cooking is a criterion for what you are looking for, than go look for a woman who fits that type. If you really like this woman you better start learning yourself to cook.
2007-08-05 08:50:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have what is important to you and what you desire for your life. She has hers as well. You need to find a common ground that works for both of you. Tell her, that's the first order of business. Granted, you might get a smack upside the head, but honesty and openness is the key to a healthy marriage. I don't think that you are being archaic in your beliefs. They are YOUR BELIEFS after all! You never know, she might be intimidated by the thought of cooking and taking care of a family. Take her to dinner, if you are supposed to marry this woman, she will listen and you need to listen too. Good luck!
2007-08-05 08:52:48 · answer #4 · answered by ashpea2002 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If that is an important thing for you to have a woman who will cook, then she is not the right one for you. Doesn't make her a bad person, she just isn't into that.
You shouldnt' have to compromise on things that are important to you in a marraige, just like she shouldn't have to cook if she doesn't want to. And marrying her expected to change her will only lead to resentment when she doesn't change. What you see is what you get. She is showing you who she is as a person. If you don't like the it, find someone who you do like. Better to know now than in five years.
2007-08-05 08:51:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let her know your concerns about the future children (that is if she agreed to having children) and how important it is that she is responsible and of course she can take some cooking classes and you can be supportive and help her too. Good Luck. That would be a shame to end a loving relationship over this.
2007-08-05 08:45:55 · answer #6 · answered by sorri 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Cooking is not everything in a relationship or marriage let me start by saying that! But maybe suggest you both should take cooking lessons so it dosen't look like she is the only one. Or go about as i want a stay at home wife which more than likely she won't agree with that cause i wouldn't want to be one, talk with her about it let her know it is important to you!!!
2007-08-05 08:50:40 · answer #7 · answered by BROOKLYN M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Simple: Hire a Cook and A Nanny, when you need one...
It's either this OR GET OUT OF THE GAME...
If your Basic Beliefs aren't being met, you have only a
few choices to make, and I've listed a couple of them..
That's a shame to put that much time in a relationship,
and just discover that you ''want more out of life"...
2007-08-05 08:54:54 · answer #8 · answered by Too Funny 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Some women don't cook until they get married and have kids. Seriously!!!! Even the generation before us. I asked my mother in law and my mom. Go to allrecipes.com (or other cooking sites), or buy a book and tell her that you want to learn how to cook together with her. Buy ingredients and try it out. Don't give up. I don't know any family where a woman don't cook when she has kids. Do you?
2007-08-05 08:47:36 · answer #9 · answered by smiles 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Give her a gift of cooking lessons. If she refuses and she knows how important that is to you, you will have to do the cooking yourself or find someone else. That's the way it is.
2007-08-05 08:44:23 · answer #10 · answered by notyou311 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋