child custody?

Question

why do the courts seem to think kids are better off with there mothers than there fathers not all mohers are good parents some of them are deadbeats too

Answer 1

The courts are sexist.

Answer 2

I've wondered the same thing. It stems from the past when men typically worked outside of the home, and women raised the children, but I don't understand why a better system hasn't been developed to accommodate today's world.

Of course there are wonderful (and horrible) parents of either sex out there. What about when the man was the full time parent, and the woman the out of the home provider? I know a couple like that who split up, and she still got custody. Don't get me wrong, they were equally qualified as parents, but I think the fact that he raised the kids should have factored into the equation more than the fact that she has woman parts.

I don't know. Obviously, the best interest of the child should be the biggest factor in deciding these matters, but I do think a more fair way of determining that should be established.

Answer 3

You are right. However the problem stems from for too long the one who was left with the children have been the women, and the fact that if a family was on rough times, in order to get assistance the only way most men saw was to leave the home. Yes women are more likely to not be required to pay child support than men are, but statistically the one often left to raise the child alone is the woman. Most laws do lean towards women, only because men are too quick to leave. In an abuse situation where a woman is abusing the man there are often little or no support system like there are for women, so men tend to leave the children thinking it will be better and they can get the children later in a divorce. This is such a broad subject and my heart goes out to the men who want to be dads but feel so frustrated they don't know where to turn. There are no easy answers here.

Answer 4

You are right.
And if a mother is an "unfit" mother, then the father will get custody.
My feeling about the mother usually winning in child custody is because of our "motherly instinct".
I really believe that's what it is.
Not saying there's anything wrong with the fathers.
But come on we all know how the women and men are different in the way we think and feel.
Mother's are "usually", not always, but for the most part more nurturing.
But I also agree that when you have a couple and the Mother doesn't prove to be that way, then the Father should get custody.

Answer 5

I agree. Some mothers are also as bad as dead beat fathers. I think every case is different but alot of the time the judge feels that the best place for the child is with the mother. So that's why when I hear about mothers losing custody of their kids, I know they must have really really f'd up cuz judges more often than not rule in favor of the mother. But like I said,,,,every case is different and not all mothers win custody.

Answer 6

it's left over from the overwhelmingly patriarchal society - it wasn't a mans place to raise the children, he didn't have time what with being the sole worker etc. There is no evidence that maternal deprivation negetively effects a child as long as there is a positive paternal influence and feminine role models for the child to identify with.
I fully agree,more fathers should get custody - they're screwed over so easily in the courts.

Answer 7

It's amazing to me that so many people are aware of this issue but nothing has been done about it yet.

I don't think anyone can argue that the laws are biased for the mothers. If they do argue that, I can only believe that they don't know what they are talking about and never had any personal experience with custody and support laws.

There are all kinds of father's rights movements out there. Hopefully it will change someday.

Answer 8

its just that the majority of the time the mother is the one who is around the child the most, and so they think that they are better off not to upset the child with a complete new surrounding like that. But if the father is a good and decent fellow, then most of the time 50/50 is awarded and that works out, but mostly i don't think that fathers have the time usually to accomidate a child 50% of the time, since they do sometimes work more often.

Answer 9

Because traditionally mothers have been nurturers and children tend to be better off in that sort of setting. Over the past 40 years however courts are learning different. Just like it took women 100s of years to be accepted in the working world it is going to take a long time for men to be accepted as nurturers. It takes time. Women are STILL not getting paid comprable to men in their chosen areas...yet we are willing to be paitent...men must learn to be just as patient.

Answer 10

my mom works for a divorce court as a referee hearing cases. let me tell you that the courts are not sexist. they have a good reason for sticking a kid with a parent. a lot of moms are good at being parents but so are a lot of dads. if you really want custody you have to pay the child support and really show a reason on why you should be able to have the kids. show that you can care for them and support them. and having a job helps.

Answer 11

We were lucky and the judge thought that there are deadbeat moms too. Got to bring my nephew back home. Good luck