when people ask me questions about how my ex is doing how do i respond in a positive manner. also why does my older sister constantly tell me how beautiful and wonderful his new child is. what is she trying to gain i feel that i really am on to a new life and do not want her negative energy, how do i tell her to clam up. in a positive way.
2007-08-05 07:55:29 · 8 answers · asked by elliepenelly 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
To all who are criticizing because she doesn't like the sister talking nice about the child, it is not the sisters child, it is the ex husbands child. I really don't know why your sister should be bringing up anything about the ex-husband, but wouldn't go as far as one answerer stated about getting your sister out of your life. Family is important and your relationship with your sister will last a lifetime. I liked the answer about telling folks that you want to get on with your life and not dwell on the past. That is the best answer so far. Tell your sister that too, in a nice way. Good luck with those who don't think about the impact their comments might have on your happiness! You'll be OK soon and able to get on with your life.
2007-08-05 08:24:54 · answer #1 · answered by Frank 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Negative energy?.... Your sister is sending you "negative energy" by telling you how wonderful her new child is?.... THAT'S WHAT NEW PARENTS ARE SUPPOSED TO DO!!! She's not trying to "gain" anything, she's happy and she's sharing her happiness with the world! It seems like the negative energy comes from other sources...
When someone asks about your ex, say: "I don't know, I don't talk/see/have contact with him any more, that's why they call it an EX"...
Edit: SORRY! I didn't get it but I do now... Your sister's talking about your ex-husband's new child ... I apologize... Tell your sister (plain and simple) that you DO NOT want to know anything about your ex. Period.
2007-08-05 15:04:21 · answer #2 · answered by lost in space 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How people ask such a rude question? Who says you need to be positive to such a rude question. You could shrug your shoulders, "I don't know. You could call his mom, or his pastor/preist/shrink/girlfriend/wife maybe she knows?" Or, "I don't know. BTW, how is (insert name of questioner's ex here)? Or "We broke-up. How are your ex's doing?"
As for your sister, She's got some weird problem with you being okay and is obviously trying to bring you down, and screw up your new path. Again, very rude. It has been my experience that some people, even family don't understand nice or polite or positive. Be plain. "You keep bring this up. Let me be clear. I am moving on with my life. I do consider you bringing this up as rude. This is not something I do not care to discuss. In fact, it is something I choose not to discuss. If there something non-offensive you would like to talk about, get back to me.'
2007-08-05 16:20:53 · answer #3 · answered by so tired 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's no shame in telling people that you don't know, and you don't care.
The conversation will go like this:
Them:"How's the ex doin'?"
You: "Beats me."
It's really that simple.
And you don't have to tell your sister off - just act uninterested. Act as though you were listening to something so dull and irrelevent that it can barely hold your attention - act like you're really trying to care about what she's saying, but it's just not working. She'll eventually stop bringing it up.
2007-08-05 15:19:17 · answer #4 · answered by extton 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop trying to be "positive" and just be yourself! They are invading your space and sounds like they have a hidden agenda!! DON'T ANSWER! Tell them that that's OVER and you have your OWN life now!! If they persist--tell them to buzz off and get some other friends who don't know your ex! Also, your older sister seems to be trying to "rub it in" that you passed up something good. THIS IS YOUR LIFE!! Tell her once--straight! If she doesn't stop--then minimize your contact with her!! You need to protect yourself and VALUE your new life and decisions!
2007-08-05 17:18:27 · answer #5 · answered by Martell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait...someone is telling you how beautiful and wonderful a child is...and you call THAT negative energy? Think about that.
The problem is in YOUR attitude, not hers. You can tell her how such statments make you feel but I suspect you haven't done this because admitting as much makes you feel small. There's your second clue if you needed one.
2007-08-05 15:02:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
to others say: " I hope he is doing fine I believe we have both moved on to better lives, but we really do not talk much anymore."
to your sister: " I really happy he has a great child, but at this point in my life I really need to focus on moving on with my future not reliving my past."
2007-08-05 15:02:08 · answer #7 · answered by Brad 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Just tell he that she makes you feel bad and if she doesnt shut up with that crap it is better to break ties with her. Remember you never keep people who make you sad in your life.
2007-08-05 15:01:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋