how do i get over and boyfriend that i had a baby with when i love him with all my heart?

Question

i have been goin out with my boyfriend for 3 years and i just had a baby by him and he has become really mean and thinks that he can rule me and he is allwas putting me down. i just really need a way to get over him without having to cry anymore ive been goin throught that for 3 years straight and the worst part of it all is that this only happens in the summer time.

Answer 1

It should anger you that he isn't being a good father to his child! Make sure he pays child support on a regular basis to you. If he isn't...take him to family court and they will insist he pay to support your child. Why do you think you are crying? This guy didn't have enough respect for you to marry you when you were pregnant with his child. He puts you down! He tries to make you feel inferior, and it's working! Jeeez! Don't let him do this to you. You are worth more than he is ! You have a child. Be a good mother and get away from that immature lunk of a guy who thinks he's so hot stuff and you are nothing. Get mad, get counseling, and grow up for your child's sake. Go out and find a man WORTHY of you.

Answer 2

Honey, you need to realize that him putting you down and being mean and not taking care of you and your child is wrong and not right. Your not only his girlfriend but your the mother of his child and instead of belittling you, he should be protecting you and being there for you. He has no right to "rule you". It sounds almost as if he's starting to become controling. And crying about it is normal. Here's a guy you love and the father of your child who is mean and it's something that you never would come of him. I realize that your fear of leaving him and not having him around is huge but he's not treating you right and isn't being there for you then you need to get out of the relationship. Find someone who will ALWAYS be there for you and who can handle you at your best and your worst. And also not just be there for you but also for your baby. Good luck and I hope everything turns out good.

Answer 3

Your boyfriend sounds like since the baby arrived you are neglecting him.He just want to control your every emotions.Be strong focus on your baby even more.Stop crying like a baby,because it's time for you to put priorities in order.Bring your precious baby to church and focus on where you want out of life.God surely cares and will answer all your beckoning calls for him .He will give you peace of mind so you don't lose sight of your future.God Bless

Answer 4

well you guy's loved one another so much you guy's had amazing sex he gave it to you real good you both like it so much you guy's made a beautiful baby you both love for ever that something went so wrong that you can't get over it because you both made a beautiful baby and it looks like him and your baby reminds you about him all the good things that it make's you want to go back for the baby's sake but don't he could be having sex with another women he could be a player just think for that my sister did and she had a baby from her man she has been with for years but just love your baby alto when he gets older tell it why his dad is not here OK.just remember you held your baby for 9months not him and he can rule you if you both are married like a wedding ring on your hands but not to much you can to it works both ways .

Answer 5

its a really bad thing that he isnt being a good husband or father to you or your child. in order for your child to have the best life possible, i would get over him and move onto someone else. if you need the support, go to court and make him still pay childcare

Answer 6

OK you are young and in "love". what a load. grow up you now have a child to raise. do you want your child to grow up thinking it is OK to abuse mommy? even worse to become the abused or the abuser? move on , do it now. you need to learn self control. he needs to learn self control, respect,self discipline and how to be a man. put the trash out immediately. it stinks like rotting skunk.

Answer 7

do what you feel is right for you and your child.....think of how his behavior is hurting the child in anyway....if he puts you down and all that infront of your child then go and leave him....you dont need you child growing up believeing that is how the daddys are....there is other and better people than that....but if you truely love him talk to him and tell him how you feel and that hes only like this in the summer and it needs to stop..... just TALK TO HIM!!!!

Answer 8

well sounds like abuse hes doing to you. he figures you can't leave now becasue of the baby. well that isn't true. you can go back to moms right? if so i would and try and make a life for you two and be happy that is all ther eis left.

Answer 9

Honey your boyfriend has a problem. He is making that your problem and will eventually make it your childs problem. He didn't care enough about you to marry you when you became pregnant and still doesn't. He puts you down and wants to control your every move. He is a classic abuser and I am here to tell you that it will only get worse. Here are the classic signs of an abuser.. .if he has only a few of them he will begin to show more.

1. Jealous.
2. Blames others (including you) for his faults.
3. Blames circumstances for his problems.
("If only I had a job, I wouldn't be so upset").
4. His behaviour is unpredictable.
5. He belittles you verbally.
6. He cannot control his anger.
7. He always asks for a second chance.
8. He says he'll change, that he won't do it again.
9. His family resolves problems with violence.
10. He plays on your guilt. (If you loved me, you'd...")
11. His behaviour often worsens when he uses alcohol or drugs.
12. He is close-minded. His way is the only way.

Let me tell you what Love is NOT ----------------------- Jealousy, insecurity, possessiveness and controlling behaviour ( such as of our time, friends, and who we speak to or see)......is not Love.

When someone makes demands upon your time that you end up isolating from all you care about and need ...... that's not Love.

It's unrealistic to think all you need is (so & so)- it isn't love, it's being possessive (that's not love). No one person should be responsible for filling someone else's emotional and physical needs..... That's not Love.

Isolation, name-calling and blame is not love. (for example: when you go out to see friends you are a whore).

To be hit because you talked to your family or friends. Nobody needs permission to do these things . That's not love ,that's just an attempt to isolate you so that you depend only on him or her that's unrealistic and unhealthy..... That's not Love.

When someone says "You never" or "You always" in trying to place blame. Is not love. There are no totals in life like that there is only "sometimes". This is just another attempt at control.

When someone hurts things smaller than them or pushes and/or verbally abuses in a cruel manner....that's not love. It can be a way to exert control by bad behaviour. Cruelty to pets is not love.

Interrogation, name-calling, sleep deprivation, threats of bodily harm...is not love.

Such things as "Don't make me have to hit you" and "If you just would have listened .. maybe I wouldn't have had to "hit" (or whatever other abuse or bad behaviour)...is not love.

Breaking things and throwing fits of anger in the name of love is not love. "Look what you made me do". Everyone is responsible for their own actions. I can't stress this enough.

Physically restraining while having differences of opinion ("Listen or else") any physical holding like this ....is not love.

Explosive tempers, hypersensitivity, blame, verbal or physical assaults, belittling, or simply not giving credit for any accomplishments .....is not love.

In what we do or fail to do, we are accountable for our actions. We should treat everyone as we want to be treated, as love does not hurt, make you feel pain and shame. Love doesn't leave bruises or scars or destroy emotions and feelings.

LOVE FEELS GOOD !!

Love is a lightness in the heart and a connection in the soul to others. I think we all really know when something doesn't feel right and hurts....
That's not Love.

If anyone shows or recognises any of the negative signs above that I have spoken about it's called ABUSE. I know, I'm a survivor. You can get away. Talk, scream if you need to ~ but GET OUT!

Here is a list of types of abuse

The different types of abuse are:

Physcial Abuse
Sexual Abuse
Emotional Abuse
Financial Abuse
Social Abuse
Environmental Abuse
Ritual Abuse

If you recognise these behaviours as part of your life, please get some help and leave before it's too late. If you recognise them in someone you know, talk to them and help....many women (victims) out there are silently crying for help!
Please note: that in most cases I have referred to the victim as a woman and the abuser as a man for easier explanation.

So for the sake of your child......... and your sake.... wake up now to what he is doing.. its called ABUSE.. and you need to get out now.. If you cannot go home to your moms.. call a womans shelter to get the help you need.... Call them to help get a PFA against him and make him leave the place you both reside. Do not let your child see anymore of this. He or she will grow up learning that its okay to be abused to to be an abuser and the cycle continues.

Answer 10

It sounds to me like he is a loser. You and your child will be better off without him. No one deserves to be put down, and if he does it to you, chances are your child will be next. Get out of this relationship.