So, I have been seeing this guy for over 3 years. Seeing as in seeing him at his job. We have always talked. I know his name and everything. He makes small talk with me and I am the only one he ever seems to talk too when other people are there. I have always gotten a "vibe" that he might interested. I am not sure of this though. It's hard to just flat out ask him because he could get upset either way - even if he is gay or bi and in the closet. But, I always catch him looking at me and staring at me and he has laways been very happy to see me, always. Do straight guys get happy and excited to see over other guys? And, he was always really sweet to me - always. Now, he has backed off. He still stairs at me and wa5tches me, but, now it's different. He seems more distant and I am confused. I have always liked this guy for all this time - even over other guys I always come back to him. But, now he's backed off. I don't know now, is he even gay/bi? Or really deep in the closet? Help me!!
2007-08-05 05:20:13 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
He seems to have done a total 180 all of a sudden with regards to me. Is he not gay/bi after all? Is he in the closet? I get the impression it's hard to ask him that's why I don't. He was SO nice at the first, and he always knew I was gay - that's no question. Guys don't blush at other guys. And, I did. So, why the change all of a sudden even though he knew about me?
2007-08-05 05:21:57 · update #1
I need to know if he's gay or bi or not. I don't have good gaydar. He seems pissed at me - or I don't know - distant all of a sudden. He KNEW I was GAY - that is clear and obvious - I'm the type you just know is gay, I'm not flaming at all, but you just know. 99% of the people I have met knew I was gay without even knowing me.
2007-08-05 05:26:41 · update #2
thanks myavatar. of course I always have you. you're my boy.
2007-08-05 05:30:09 · update #3
does he sound closeted?
Oh, and yes he knows I'm gay - straight guys don't smile huge for other guys - seriously. this is known i am gay.
2007-08-05 05:30:47 · update #4
he makes small talk with me like do you like this weather, etc? am i wrong - is he straight?
2007-08-05 05:31:38 · update #5
Maybe he's waiting for you to make a move, I would say he is interested in you, he is as shy as you are, so for your own sake make the move, good luck
2007-08-05 07:23:40 · answer #1 · answered by kanei 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Mac,
Why don't you approach him with an invitation to have a drink after work? Don't suggest a gay bar, Find a place that is neutral. just go and enjoy his company. During the conversation mention that you have a question for him. Don't ask him if he's gay. Tell him that you really like his company and ask him would he be interested in going to dinner with you. You may even add the phrase "like a date" or something like that. See what happens.
If he's straight he may get defensive. Just apologize for miss reading him and let him know that you like him and would very much like to be friends. If he can't handle that much honesty then forget him. He's a loser.
You are a sweet guy. Don't waste time with guys that aren't available.
Good luck!
2007-08-05 12:57:30 · answer #2 · answered by roj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay here's the way it would go if it were me.....
He knows your gay so if he wants you to know he is, then he will tell you when he's ready (if he is).
Cause for the withdrawal? Maybe he is stepping back and just watching, waiting until he has the nerve to approach you. That IS possible and not uncommon when a person is coming to terms with themselves to step back and refuse to act for awhile until they can decide what to do.
I think if you push him, that would be a mistake.
There is an unpleasant possibility too:
It is possible that he has somehow been harassed for being friends with you by somone who knows you're gay. He may have had to step back out of fear or at least until he figures out what to do about it.
What to do now..... I would say to wait. I would say wait until your relationship returns to how it was before and don't say anything. Just be friendly (but not flirtatious--this will acknowledge his need for some distance no matter the cause). Then, if things get better, communication will be open and more invited at that time.
Good luck.
2007-08-05 12:43:27 · answer #3 · answered by Cat 'n Boots 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I told the guy if I caught him looking your way again that would be it!
Mac, Mac, Mac! You seem comfortable enough with yourself to keep this from getting you down. Approach him, get it all out, as long as its a safe environment. Why go on without knowing. If you believe he likes he very well might. Then you will have gained everything. If he doesn't like you then you always have me, and that other guy that seems to have a crush on you here. I feel fistacuffs coming. LOL
Also if the dude is closeted there is nothing you can do until he is ready. Poor Macintosh Apple! I hope all works out in the end.
(EDIT) What if he is a serial killer? Then he would have a hug psycho grin on his face. If you don't get closure sounds like you may have a stalker. I still don't like the idea of you spending everday at the bathhouse. Especially if you go "natural."
2007-08-05 12:27:48 · answer #4 · answered by The Gay Argentian Seal 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't be so sure he knows you are gay. Anyway, this must be really, really difficult... Before asking anything i'd advice you to test him a little, talk very much with him, make jokes, see how he will react! If he reacts good to it, you might just tell him (as if you consider him a good friend) that you are gay, but keep it yet distant. Some straight guys could react kinda bad, so before you know anything, don't let him know u like him. Just make some subtle sugestions and ... maybe... just let him make the first move
I'm not sure this helps, I dont have such experiences, but I wish you very much luck
2007-08-05 12:27:29 · answer #5 · answered by larissa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be in the closet and embarassed about his sexuality, and therefore ignoring/being rude/whatever to hide his feelings. Sometimes you have to take the plunge and ask him. (Although maybe you should wait until his attitude seems a little better.)
Good luck!
*edit* or as awesomeness suggests, frustrated you haven't asked him out yet.
2007-08-05 12:25:20 · answer #6 · answered by Zion Wolf 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here is a novel idea just ask!
Ask him in private so as no one over hears. If your wrong it saves both of you embarrassment and if he is closeted it protects him.
Good Luck
2007-08-05 12:34:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe ask if he wants to go out for a beer sometime and allow him to make the first move you don't not to offend him incase he isn't gay/bi
2007-08-05 12:28:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like his feelings were hurt somehow. Ask, is everything ok? Wanna go for coffee sometime? Go from there.
2007-08-05 12:34:46 · answer #9 · answered by janenotdoe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gay.
2007-08-05 12:27:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋