our 16 yr. daughter driving soon. Wife wants to sell to her. I want her to use MY car...?

Question

Our daughter will be 16 in 6 weeks my wife thinks we should sell her the car for $3.000.00 (worth 6500.) I think this is a BIG problem. I want her to be able to use MY car when I feel she should use it, not have the attitude I'll never be home, and I (she) can come and go as she pleases It's my car... Also what do you think about for paying for her insurance, or her paying half???

Answer 1

I think she should have to pay something to earn the car.. It's a life lesson.. if you want the car, you must contribute to the car.. that way she will value having it more.. I would also give her a "contract" for use... i.e. Your grades must be a "C" or better (or whatever you think is appropriate).. You must continue to fulfill your role in our home (i.e. dinner at home 3 times per week or car use only on weekends and tuesday night (or whatever you think is fair) , room clean, other chores or responsibilities as you determine).. regarding insurance, a friend of mine told her child that they would half insurance as long as he continued to get the "good student discount" or had "clean driving record", but when his grades fell and he lost the discount, then got into an accident (his fault), she required him to pay the full insurance amount or park the car.

If she uses your car and then tears it up or wrecks it, as many first time drivers do.. then you will be without the primary transportation...

Best of luck.. 6 weeks huh... biting your nails?

Answer 2

Wow, you have a lot of things to consider in one small paragraph.

If you sell her the car, you're right, she'll have a greater sense of ownership and may take better care of it (first cars usually get the bad end of the deal, lol). On the other hand, if you have her drive your car then she will feel its YOUR car and not learn any of the responsibilities of ownership, i.e. checking/changing oil, defensive driving, general care.

As far as insurance goes, its really a matter of what she can afford. Insurance, of course, is a recurring cost. A first car, much like a new car, should have more than minimum coverage on it. NO ONE SUES FOR THE MINIMUM AMOUNT. If she can't pay for more than minimum, then you might consider paying the difference for better coverage.

If you want to maintain a small amount of control, let her have the responsibility of making the decision. If she purchases the car, you'll kick in for the insurance as long as her grades keep up and she makes whatever curfew you set. If she chooses to use yours, you can assume the full cost of the insurance, and car priviledges remain in effect with the same conditions.

As far as the "never be home" attitude, its your house and your rules. Before she makes either decision, she should already know that even if she were to buy the car and pay all her own insurance, she still answers to you. When I was a teenager, my parents wouldn't have thought twice about taking the keys to my car if I caught that attitude.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Seriously? You really need an answer to this question? This child is spoiled and ungrateful - You took your hard-earned money and bought her a car, which, by the way, she said she liked, and she treats you like this? I can't beleive you would even consider buying her ANOTHER car at ANY age - but that just says you are sensitive to her feelings, so I understand.... Show her this answer: Daughter, you need to respect your mother, be thankful that she loves you enough to even THINK about buying you a car. If you don't like what she bought you, even though you said you liked it and later changed your mind, then tough luck! Get a job, buy your own car, and PAY YOUR MOTHER BACK for the car she bought you - Even if she sells it, you should still be responsible enough to understand - cars are not like hair ties or clothes - you can't just return them. Grow up and act your age - then... Thank your mother for being such a wonderful person, because without her kindness, you would still be taking the city bus to the mall!

Answer 4

Both positions have value. If she buys it with her own money, she will respect it more. On the other hand, if you two aren't strong enough to enforce the payment plan, it teaches an entirely different lesson. Having her contribute to the insurance will make her appreciate that as well, and perhaps be more responsible about doing things that will make it more expensive. On the other hand, at 16 she should be worrying about school, not payments.

One thing I do know for sure. You and her mother need to be on a single program. You can really screw her up if YOU think she's paying half, but it's coming from her mother.

Answer 5

You do have a point there. What if she pays for her insurance buy you let her drive the car. 16 can be a tough age as it is, you really don't want to make her feel like she can tell you off because she bought it...but then again, as her parents, regardless of whether she bought it or you bought it, she should still respect your rules and feelings. She depends on you for clothes, food and a place to stay! Whatever you guys decide, make sure you lay down the law before she even sets foot in that car, then make sure you always follow through with the consequence, or she will definitely take advantage of it...and you'll find that you have to "argue" with her more than you care to. If you follow through with consequences immediately, every time, she will learn that you mean business and she will know that she needs to please you in order to get what she wants.

Good luck!

Answer 6

I say SELL her the car, she needs to learn responsiblity and handing her the car keys isn't going to do that. However if the car is worth more than 3,000 then she should have to pay more, or go looking for another car she can afford. SHE should pay the insurance, or at least half.

When I was her age no one handed me a car, I purchased my own, I was responsible for the insurance as well as ALL repairs made to the car.

Answer 7

Ok I think it's a good Idea for your Daughter to have a lot of driving experience, having her own car will be good for her to really get driving when she wants too, and really get used to the car…

But if your daughter is having to share your car, if daughter asks to borrow your car, if you need it or you say no!

Then that’s one less day of her learning and really getting the experience she needs...

I understand she is only 16 yr old, and you don't want her out all night, but you can still set rules for her

And tell her you can easily take the car back at anytime....

I think it's fair if your Daughter pays half for the insurance...

Answer 8

I think YOU are right... It is better that she does not have a car of her own, because she is going to have all this new freedom and it will start to become a problem. When I started driving, I had my own car and I did whatever I wanted because I figured since I bought the car, it's mine, so no one could tell when I could and could not drive it. She more than likely will take advantage of it. But make her pay her half of the insurance, it will teach her responsibility. Good luck!

Answer 9

I think for a beginner driver for them to have their own car is a huge responsibility, it's hard enough to be responsible with driving. I have never understood parents giving their kids cars that can cost as much as a small home as a first car. I think it would be a good idea for her to help w/ the insurance, she will be driving it, it will also teach her that life isn't free that you have to pay for stuff. So in short I agree w/ you, let her use your car and pay for her portion of the insurance (or part of it) then once she can prove that she is 100% responsible then go from there. I didn't have my own car until I left for college and that was just becasue I went to college out of state.

Answer 10

I think you have the right idea. Especially since she's just turning 16 she needs to still be very careful. Letting her pay for her own insurance will teach her responsibility and if she proves she can handle that for a few months then you might consider the car option.