what does it mean when people can easily upset and confuse you, destablize you just by them talking? they no?

Question

what buttons to press and they press them all. you feel people use key words and insinuate at you, just certain people though.
what is this? is it me being over sensitive? or is it them being nasty playing stupid mind games?

and if it is them, how can i deal with it when it happens?

in the past ive experienced this in super markets, people chatting near me, behind me, or in other checkouts.
by a gp/ doctor when theyve spoke to me...detecting an air of indirect condesention and patronism..
different people basically i feel using key words to upset or confuse me.
i never no how to deal with it without anger building up. and its like i become stunned into muteness.
im a 30 year old bpd sufferer whos endured a very traumatic life and abuse...i wait for therapy.
but as regards this problem, can somebody tell me how to deal with that?

im a strait forward man...i call a spade a spade...i have no ulterior motives about me, im full of integrity, i tell it how it is. and i hate mind games, dont understand why people play them or where they come from. but people who are like this are everywhere in society...and society is the very place i have to go into if i want to vuild my life together, so i dread coming into contact with these people...i dont understand them or their behaviour...i get angry at what i dont understand, or if i dont no where a persons coming from with that

Answer 1

Boy, do I know what it is to become stunned into muteness.
What I have found for myself is that my frame of mind and mood play a key role. Yes, you do have to go out into society, but you don't have to go out naked for all to see and poke fun at. The behavior you are witinessing is what is called "Being Human". All of us posess actions of good and bad.

I would say there are several ways you can deal with this situation.

1) You can analize your intentions before you go out; know what it is that you are going out for. If you are also in need of human interaction decide just how far you want to carry this interaction as not to put you in a compromising situations. Stick to your plan!

2) Take chances. Accept that people are going to be asses and that you need to take care of what you need in your life. Ask questions of those who aren't to frightening to you: as to why they stated something or did something; at the time it happens. Be pleasant and firm in your intonation. You will be supprised by what some will say to you; quite the opposite of what you were thinking. Or some may tell you that you are offensive in some way. You can then work on correcting the offensiveness so this reduces the possibility of this happening in the future.

3) Another senario is that although you say you don't go out of your way to get unwanted attention, you may indeed be antagonizing others in your dealings with them by your attitude, or body language. Aggressive, or passive body language always gets attention, and usually the wrong kind. Before you go out, work on puttting yourself in a peaceful and focused state of mind. Do not reach out to others when they are not reaching out to you, meaning: if there is no intuitive connection between you and them leave them alone. Mind your own business.

4) Ask God or your higher power to accompany you on your outings. If you stay focused on an internal conversation with your higher power and ask for its help in dealing with others it is amazing how you can make it through hell and not get scorched.

5) Join a support group at a local mental health agency or 12 step program which can help you take the focus off of others and put it on where it belongs, YOU.

You are indeed sensitive. Trust is a major issue with you. I feel you. It is important for you to feel comfortable within yourself. I empathise, I too have suffered for eighteen years of my life. It is hard to feel apart of normal society when you feel like damaged goods. It takes years to get a understanding of yourself and how your world impacts those around you. That's all I can come up with off the top of my head. Hope something I have said has been of help to you.

Good luck and GOD bless you.

Answer 2

I think such people are just mean-hearted & cruel...that's all it boils down to..

I also don't undertsand them & can't see why they do it, & I don't know how to deal with them other than not talking to them & detaching myself from them. Sometimes I just pretend I don't understand what they're talking about (look blank) & if I can, walk away from them..

Seaparate yourself & your life from them & ask God to keep such people away from you, with God's help, all all is possible. rely & depend on Him alone for everything, as He's the only one we can turn to first & last.. although good people will come to our side, it is Him that brings them to us....

think of beauty & nature & divert your mind to things which bring you joy & happiness, they're not worth thinking about....

Answer 3

meaning that you are complacent. you are not that strong to face pressures. i say that you should grow a little more, to mature a little more to develope confidence in yourself.